Loved and Lost
by SpacePirateGirl
Summary: Hebi's and Naruto's side battle it out at Konoha High while a new student struggles to stay neutral. But with more information that all of Hebi are traitors in the end, can she remain friendly to them? Lots of couples including SuiOC.
1. Sasuke

**2013 A/N: This story is discontinued. It is complete, but the last chapter is fragmented. Read the last chapter's author's note for more details.**

A/N I have decided to finally post this . . . it's been stored in my computer for months! But just as a side note before you read this:

IMPORTANT: I wrote this for myself and only myself. I don't care how believable my OC is to anyone who read it because my OC is believable to me, and that's all that matters. :-) I am only posting this in case someone besides me will enjoy it. So. Although flames are expected, I won't respond to them ;-)

Now I hope you enjoy this :D If you can't, that's just too bad.

**Disclaimer I do not own Naruto or any of its characters. Kishimoto does. But I do own any OCs in this fanfiction, and I own the plot idea!**

Loved and Lost  
By SpacePirateGirl

_Sasuke's Betrayal  
_

I walked slowly to the main office, worried I'd mess up on my first day of class. Konoha High was larger than the small-town type of school I was accustomed to. I'd probably get lost, trying to find the front door, let alone my first class.

Finally after lots of searching, the Main Office was in front of me, and I took my place in the small line. Standing in front of me, a white-haired boy glanced at me, a cocky smile on his face.

"You're new here, aren't you," he stated. It wasn't a question.

I tried not to grimace. Assuring myself that a smile was still glued to my face, I nodded. That was another problem . . . Despite the great size of the school, everyone mostly already knew each other from Middle school, and freshman year—I was a _new __Sophomore_.

The boy in front of me smirked as if a secret plan had unraveled in his mind. "You're a Sophomore, I assume . . . ?" he asked curiously.

How odd . . . Most teenagers would ask a person's name before wondering about a grade. At least where I came from, they did. "Uh . . . Y-Yeah, I'm a Sophomore," I answered stupidly.

He smiled again, giving me a feeling that he probably wasn't someone I could trust as a friend. "So you take Pre-Calculus, yes?"

"Yeah . . ." What was he up to? "I'm here to get my schedule." I immediately scolded myself for saying more than was necessary.

Suddenly he was first in line and whispering to the lady at the desk. I caught words about in-school detention, soon realizing that he was arguing his way out of it. I wondered how anyone could possibly be in detention at the first day of the year, yet decided to pretend as if I hadn't heard a thing. After two long minutes, he gave up, and began walking away.

Nobody was in line behind me, so I took my time speaking to the lady at the desk. "Hi, I'm Natsumi . . . I need my schedule."

The lady instantly began searching through the stack of papers. "You're new here, aren't you?" she asked sympathetically.

I tried not to grimace for the second time that day . . . Well, at least, she _asked_ and didn't just assume. "Yeah, I'm a Sophomore." There I went again, giving pointless information.

She smiled and handed me my schedule finally. "Here you go. Do you need someone to guide you to your first class?"

"Uh . . ." I began. I knew I would get lost, but I didn't want to embarrass myself by announcing it aloud.

"What's your first class?" the lady urged.

I glanced at my schedule. "Pre-Calculus." Who would have guessed? I wondered why that boy had asked me about Pre-Calculus earlier.

"That's my first class!" a familiar voice came from behind me. "I could show her to it."

I flipped around, only to see that same boy standing there. Oh, so _that_ was why he had asked me about Pre-Calculus. Apparently he hadn't left yet as though he were hoping there was still some ray of hope to get out of detention.

The lady at the desk frowned for a moment but then nodded. "All right, Suigetsu. I'll let you off the hook, just this one time. Show Natsumi to Pre-Calculus please."

So Suigetsu was his name, I realized. He smirked at me, and a soft sigh escaped my lips. What if something happened in the halls? I was sure the bell had almost rang, which would mean I would be alone in the hall . . . with a boy.

But if I didn't accept his offer, I could hurt his feelings . . . He may not be that type of guy at all, even though he _was_ in detention until recently.

Suigetsu smirked, revealing his sharp teeth. "Don't worry, Natsumi—I don't bite."

Somehow, he wasn't quite convincing with his toothy smirk, but I followed him anyway. It couldn't be _that_ bad.

There were still several students in the halls, even when the bell rang. I glanced at my guide confused. "Uh . . . Suigetsu—"

"Don't worry, there's still seven more minutes till the _real_ tardy bell rings. You were here early," he interrupted in his amused voice.

I frowned. "_Seven_ minutes?"

"Yeah, there are only four classes a day, you know."

A moment of silence, save for the other student's talking in the hall, intruded, and I was at loss for what to say. Wasn't the only reason he was guiding me to Pre-Calculus because he wanted to get out of detention? If so, then what _could_ I say?

"So basically, you're just manipulating me to get out of that detention, right?" I asked in a teasing tone, letting him know I was not angry, in the least. Once again, I didn't want to hurt his feelings.

Suigetsu laughed. "Nah, I would've showed you around anyway if I saw you were new," he countered. "You looked like you were really going to get lost."

Embarrassed, I ran a hand through my hair. "Well, you were right."

I think my voice betrayed my nervousness because he laughed again. "Like I said before, I don't bite."

"Whatever you say," I remarked sarcastically, getting my turn to laugh. When he suddenly stopped walking, I raised an eyebrow at him.

He grinned at my confused look. "We're here," he explained, taking my hand and leading me into the crowded, Pre-Calculus classroom.

At once, I saw five angry pairs of eyes stare me down, and I felt my foot take a step back. Glancing at Suigetsu, I saw that he was actually glaring back at the other students. When he took a moment to look at my face, his glare transformed into a cheerful smile.

"Don't worry, Natsumi. They just hate me." He released my hand as he explained, and I could only wonder why.

I took a moment to glance back at the angry eyes, and saw a tan, blonde kid with spiky hair, a girl with a brighter version of blonde hair, a girl with pink hair and green eyes, a boy with bushy eyebrows and black hair, and one last girl with brown hair pulled up into two buns. Their looks of resentment changed into confusion when Suigetsu apathetically walked away.

Why would they hate him? He'd been really nice . . . And why did Suigetsu suddenly choose to leave me alone and standing in the doorway? I decided to debate the questions later and sat down in an empty seat, next to the brown-haired girl, whom I had seen moments before.

"Hey," she greeted, all traces of anger vanishing. "My name's Tenten. What's yours?"

"Natsumi," I supplied, glad she wasn't glaring at me anymore.

She then introduced the friends sitting next to her. Sakura was the pink-haired one, Ino was the blonde, the boy sitting directly behind Tenten was Rock Lee, and Naruto was the last of the four, she introduced.

"So . . . Wanna sit with us at lunch, Natsumi?" Sakura asked politely.

"Uh . . . yeah, sure." I glanced across the room at Suigetsu, who was forcefully avoiding me.

Naruto noticed my distraction. "Is that _guy_ your friend?" His voice was unable to mask his anger.

"Suigetsu, you mean?" I corrected nicely. It just sounded rude to call someone "that _guy_" in the tone of voice, Naruto was using. "No, not really . . . I only just met him. He lead me here."

A frown settled on Tenten's and Sakura's face. "Oh, so you don't know . . . do you?" Ino guessed.

I looked at Rock Lee, who was looking at me expectantly for an answer, so I shook my head. "Kn-know what?" Why were they talking about Suigetsu as if he were some jerk?

At that moment—just as the bell rang—three more students stepped in. The lone female had fiery, red hair, and the two boys beside her stepped toward Suigetsu. The overly tall one had orange hair, and the seemingly more serious one had raven hair.

I looked back at the group, I was sitting with. Naruto actually appeared upset, but the others were glaring furiously, just as they had with Suigetsu.

"Are they why you hate Suigetsu? Are they his friends?" I was already answered when the unfamiliar teenagers sat down with him.

Everyone else was actively ignoring me. After a couple of seconds, a teacher with white, spiky hair walked in, an orange book held tightly in his hand. He declared himself to be Kakashi Hatake, the teacher of Pre-Calculus.

"We'll explain at lunch, Natsumi," Tenten suddenly said.

I smiled. "Okay." Whatever questions, I had wondered earlier, I would discover their respective answers very soon.

OoO

I strolled down the hall with Sakura, who luckily had Choir with me next period. Suigetsu had disappeared with those mysterious friends of his, so I was thankful to my other friends—I wouldn't get lost.

She pulled me up to, I think, the fourth floor and into a wide room, where I saw a wide room with chairs, and a piano in the middle. Sakura eagerly entered the class when she saw Ino, saving her and me a seat.

I smiled widely. Did this mean they considered me as a friend now?

Sitting down in my saved seat, I thanked Ino quietly. Sakura sat down next to me and gestured for my attention.

"Hey, Natsumi, this is Hinata," she exclaimed, pointing at a black-haired girl beside Ino. "She's one of our friends."

Hinata smiled nervously. "Hello, Natsumi."

"Hi, Hinata," I replied. She looked just as nervous as I felt.

Suddenly the teacher walked in, though she looked just barely twenty, and she sat down at the piano. "Alright, class. My name is Shizune. Welcome to Choir."

OoO

Finally, lunch had arrived. I followed Sakura, Ino, and Hinata to the cafeteria, and sat down with the rest of my new friends. As soon as Ino had introduced me to all of them, the names passed through my head. Yeah . . . It was definitely easier to meet people one at a time.

"So," I started, unsure. "Why do all of you dislike Suigetsu and his . . . friends?"

Sakura stared at the ground. "I guess we owe you an explanation . . ."

I suppressed my anxiety as Tenten and Ino joined the conversation. Whatever the explanation was, it was important enough for Sakura's friends to confirm what she was saying.

"You see, Sasuke used to be one of us," Sakura said. "He—"

Tenten shook her head. "Sakura, tell Natsumi who Sasuke _is_ first."

"Right," Sakura agreed. "Sasuke was the one with black hair and matching eyes . . ."

I nodded, remembering seeing the one who appeared serious and cold.

"Okay. Well, anyway, he used to be one of us, you know. He was really good friends with Naruto and me. We went everywhere with each other," Sakura explained sadly. "He once asked me on a date, too . . . I was never officially his girlfriend, but—"

"Sakura!" Ino glared. I could tell she also had loved Sasuke.

"Sorry." Sakura grinned, but sl oon the happiness was replaced with sadness. "But then . . . He betrayed us and switched schools. Naruto tried to stop him, but it didn't work. I think it had something to do with his brother, Itachi—something like trying to become as smart as him because Itachi graduated high school when he was eleven . . . But still, he never came back to us, or called, or anything!" Her voice was full of anger.

"Yep," Ino confirmed, sadly. "And that was all in elementary school, too! So Sasuke came back here for his eighth-grade year. We all tried to talk to him again and forgive him . . . But he ignored us because he had new friends."

I suddenly understood. "And Suigetsu was one of them?"

Tenten nodded. "His new friends are called Karin—she's the red head—and Juugo, that tall guy, and _Suigetsu_, who you already met this morning." I vaguely noticed her dark emphasis of Suigetsu.

"Oh." Nothing else would come out of my lips . . . until I realized that there was _still_ no real reason for them to hate Suigetsu. "So you hate all of his new friends now, too?"

This time, Naruto answered. "Yeah."

I couldn't remember when he and the rest of the group began listening to our conversation until right then. And they were all staring at me, scrutinizing my reaction.

I suddenly felt extremely nervous . . . How was I supposed to react? Should I become angry with those four too, or should I say that I wanted time to think about choosing sides?

Because maybe Sasuke's story did have two sides to it . . . I had only heard one, so maybe I should try hearing the other. "Uh, I have to go to the restroom," I announced, lying hastily.

Sakura smiled. "Do you need help finding it?"

"No," I said, standing up and smiling in return. "I'll be back in a second."

I left the table and entered the hallway. Wondering what to do next, I wandered aimlessly down the hall, until someone tapped on my shoulder from behind.

I jumped in shock and flipped around. The culprit was Suigetsu.

**A/N: Long chapter for how I usually write, huh? Ugh... Now I'll have to write a lot more to update again... which reminds me... Do NOT expect this to be updated regularly please. I am a very busy person with two other fanfictions to update and with contests I may want to enter... I have too much to write already, so yeah... don't expect quick updates please!**

**Thanks for readie****ng! I _will_ do my best updating soon, despit**** what I just mentioned. Even if everyone hates it.  
**


	2. Secrets

**A/N****: I don't have much to say... :-( lol... Thank you, LostForever, for the review and your encouragement :-D Anyway, whoever is reading this, I hope your having fun:-) Read, and if you so choose, review. Flames are expected--I mean _ACC_epted... LOl... Enjoy!**

Loved and Lost  
By SpacePirateGirl

_Secrets_

"Suigetsu . . . what are you doing here?" I asked cheerfully. 

"You mean, you're not angry at me?"

I laughed, but then saw the look of genuine confusion in his eyes. I immediately stopped laughing. "Suigetsu! Why would I be mad at you?"

He smirked again though he looked relieved. "Sorry for offending you . . . I thought you were like the others—quick to hate. Like Tenten, Rock Lee, and Neji . . . They only came here last year, and already hate us as much as even Naruto does."

I shook my head, smiling. "Well, _I_ actually met you before that silly story." _I_ actually think you're nice, I also would've said, but I was too nervous . . . "Hey, Suigetsu, I understand why they're angry at Sasuke, but . . . why do they hate _you_ . . . and Karin . . . and Juugo?"

"Because we 'stole their beloved Sasuke away from them,'" he mocked, a touch of humor in his voice.

I laughed quietly. "Um . . ."

"What?"

"Also in Pre-Calculus, why did you start ignoring me like that?" I asked reluctantly . . . It wasn't as if I was angry; I was sure there was a good reason.

Suigetsu grinned. "I didn't want them seeing you with me. It would ruin your reputation with your new friends."

I nodded in understanding but, only seconds later, I froze in shock. He did that . . . for me . . . ?

Suigetsu noticed the stunned look on my face. "_Now_ are you mad at me?"

I shook my head. "No . . . just surprised that you would do that for someone you just met . . ."

He shrugged. "Well, I'd rather give people the opportunity to choose either Naruto's side _or_ Sasuke's side."

"Wait!" I protested shyly. "You mean, I can't be on _both_ sides? Can't I be neutral?"

"_I_ don't care if you're neutral," Suigetsu replied cheerfully. "But _they _won't like you much if you're seen with me."

I frowned, upset that everyone couldn't just be a friend to each other. "Why is it like that?"

"Well, I can't exactly tell you . . . It's a _Hebi_ secret," Suigetsu explained.

I raised an eyebrow. "Hebi?"

"Never mind. Forget I said it."

I shrugged . . . I guessed it was another one of those "secrets." But still, it was a little strange that even the name Hebi was a Hebi secret . . . "Okay, whatever. Anyway, before I make a decision on whose . . . _side_, I'm on, can I meet your friends?"

Suigetsu smirked. "You're sure? I don't know how you can come up with an excuse for Sakura, Naruto, and them."

"I'll tell them the truth," I countered, smiling. "So can I meet them?"

"Sure." He grabbed my hand and led me back into the cafeteria.

I followed wordlessly, trying to ignore the glances my other friends were giving me. Their faces were mixed with sadness, anger, and confusion . . . Suigetsu was right—it would be hard to explain later.

Suigetsu stopped at a table in the far corner, the farthest from the table Sakura and Naruto sat at, I noticed.

Annoyed, the red-haired one—Karin—eyed Suigetsu. "Dumb-ass," she told him. "Sasuke doesn't want—"

"'Sasuke' this, 'Sasuke' that," Suigetsu mocked. "He's all you ever talk about, Four Eyes—"

"That's not true!" she yelled back. "And even if it was, at least I listen to Sasuke, unlike _you_—"

"You don't listen when he tells you to stop flirting—"

"I do _not_ flirt—"

"Enough!" a cold voice came from behind Karin. I glanced up and saw it to be Sasuke. He had risen from his seat at the lunch table in order to intervene.

I was glad when he interrupted too . . . I had never seen such a violent conversation. Suigetsu and Karin had interrupted each other at least four times in a row . . . And all the words, they got out of their mouths, were insults. The argument seriously had worn me out by just watching it.

I saw the tall and largely built one glance at me, recalling that his name was Juugo. "Don't worry," he said politely. "They do that all the time."

I smiled at him. He was nice enough. I glanced back toward the tension between Karin and Suigetsu and then Sasuke, who appeared very annoyed with their arguing.

"Sasuke," the redhead cooed, "he was picking on me again."

I slightly noticed Sasuke stifling a sigh. "I don't care who was picking on who," he admonished. "But either way, you're scaring the guest."

I blushed out of nervousness when I realized he meant me.

As an apology appeared in his eyes, Suigetsu glanced at me. "Sorry."

I shrugged it off with a smile.

"Sasuke, Juugo, and Four Eyes, this is Natsumi," Suigetsu introduced. "She's new here."

"Hi," I said nervously. "I-It's nice to meet you."

"Hello," Juugo replied as Sasuke nodded his acknowledgement.

Karin, taking a moment from her glare at Suigetsu, glanced cheerfully at me. "Just so you know, Natsumi, my name is _Karin_, not Four Eyes. Suigetsu never calls me by my real name."

I nodded, understanding, but she had already gone back to glaring at Suigetsu.

"_Anyway_," Suigetsu said, changing the touchy subject, "Natsumi just wanted to meet all of you before she decided whether she was on our side, or their side." He gestured toward the friends I met in Pre-Calculus, who were sitting on the other side of the room.

"That makes sense," Karin said. "Though I don't think anyone's ever tried this before . . . They just went along with the others."

"Except Tenten," Juugo reminded. "She tried meeting us, remember?"

"Oh, yeah. I think she came to a decision while me and Suiget—I mean, fish boy—were arguing."

Suigetsu nodded, and I glanced at him in shock. It was the first time he had agreed with Karin since we got here.

"Yeah, she ran away after we started _really_ cursing," Suigetsu explained.

I flinched. "_Really_ cursing . . . ?"

Juugo shrugged. "You'll get used to it."

"Thanks," I mumbled. "Well, I heard one side of the story from Sakura, Ino, and Tenten . . . So came to hear your side of the story."

Sasuke nodded, already knowing the conversation was headed that way. "When I was in elementary, my brother, Itachi, took online classes. By the time he was eleven years old he had graduated high school . . . And I was still in second grade. I, of course, felt jealous because I just couldn't catch up, so during fifth grade I left Naruto and his friends to go to Otagakure's elementary school—I head they had an accelerated learning program. Then I met these three." He pointed to Karin, Juugo, and Suigetsu. "As soon as I was done with high school, I came back here to _pretend_ to attend high school."

Karin gasped. "Sasuke! You skipped the part where you rescued us from Orochimaru-sama when he was trying to brainwash us—"

"Four Eyes, you can't say that in public!" Suigetsu argued quietly.

"Suigetsu's right, Karin. I skipped it for a reason," Sasuke agreed. "Now where was I?"

"You were pretending to attend high school . . ." I answered, unsure.

"Right. So Orochimaru taught us all to have self-motivation," Sasuke continued, "and by the time we were done with eight grade, we had finished college online, compliments to Karin."

Karin blushed at that. "I set up the false ID's, so we could take the classes unknown."

"We didn't want anyone to know that we had finished college, so we came here for high school in order to disguise—" He cut himself off. "Sorry, I can't tell you that."

So far, so good; it all made sense . . . except for all those secrets. What was the big deal about all of the confidential information, anyhow? "Ino told me that they tried to bring you back to their side."

Sasuke nodded. "Yeah, and I would've, but I had other things to do . . ."

I sighed. Secret after secret after secret . . . But still, the story hadn't seemed that Sasuke really betrayed them as Sakura claimed it to be. At least, there was some reason behind all of the traitorous acts, even if it _was_ confidential.

"So, Natsumi," Sasuke asked, "have you chosen our side or their side?"

I glanced down at my feet. "Uh . . . Well, I haven't really decided—"

"Natsumi wants to stay neutral," Suigetsu explained. "She never wanted to actually _decide_."

Karin smirked. "Good luck with that," she commented, glancing over my shoulder at Sakura and Tenten, who were edging closer to our conversation.

"I better . . . go . . ." I said, looking at Sasuke to see if he cared. He seemed to be . . . in charge . . . of the rest of them somehow—there was some type of authority in the way he spoke.

"Then I guess we'll see you later," Sasuke responded, sitting back into his seat at the table.

"Bye, Natsumi," Juugo said.

"See you," Karin added.

I waved as I strolled away.

"See ya, Natsu-chan!" Suigetsu called after me.

I stopped to suspiciously glance back. Natsu-_chan_?

He smirked, knowing the confusion in my eyes was because of the recently added suffix to my name.

"Bye, Suigetsu!" I yelled back cheefully, and returned to where Sakura and Tenten were standing, waiting for me.

"Natsumi! Didn't you hear the story we told you? They're traitors!" Sakura exclaimed.

Tenten stared at the ground, her eyes a little betrayed. I had a small feeling that it wasn't just because of me when she glanced up at Suigetsu and looked quickly back at her feet.

"I know," I defended myself. "I wanted to hear Sasuke's side of it too . . . There are two sides to every story, after all."

"And . . . ? Was his story different?" Sakura asked.

Distracted, I glanced at Tenten again. She was strangely silent. "Uh, yeah, much different," I answered Sakura's question, absent-mindedly.

Sakura frowned in confusion. "Really—"

"Students," an announcement rang in the room. "Your dorm room number for this year will be given to you in the Main Office. Please be sure to check there after school or during lunch."

The lunchroom was already emptying. I began to walk that way when Sakura stopped me. "Natsumi," she said, "most people get their dorm number during lunch. Let's wait till after school when the line won't be as long."

Suddenly Ino was jumping excitedly around us. "I can't wait to see where my dorm room is! I'm so excited."

"We can tell," Tenten teased, finally joining the conversation again.

Ino smirked and skipped back to a bored-looking teenager, who followed her to the Main Office.

"Great," Sakura said sarcastically, checking her pink watch. "We have seven minutes of lunch left . . ."

I hid my sigh of relief . . . To be truthful, I was exhausted from this first day of school. I only wished for class to begin again, so I could sit down and be bored if only a little while.

**A/N****: BTW, whoever voted for Suigetsu on that poll on my profile, thank you so much if you happen to be reading this:-D LOl, he's falling behind Sasuke . . . :-( Whoever likes Suigetsu, go vote for him on my poll please:-D Whoever likes Sasuke, do _not_ vote on my poll x( he's already winning (LOl, I'm jk).**

**Anyway, in other news, I have already finished the next chapter, so here's a preview**:

"All right!" Gai began somewhat loudly. "Are you all ready?!"

Nobody answered enthusiastically—the reply was more like a dull, "I guess."

But he didn't seem to notice. "Kiba's team will engage Lee's super, awesome, _wonderful_ team in football first! Then the winner will challenge Sasuke's team!" Gai announced, waving his hands dramatically in the air.

Next to me, Tenten sighed while I stifled a laugh. "Is he always like this?" I asked her quietly.

"Yeah . . ."


	3. Just a Game

**A/N: Thank you to my awesome reviewers, LostForever06, xTxNxLx, and Mew of Fire!! Thanks so much!! :-D Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter :-) I sure enjoyed writing it. Hehe :-) So have fun!!**

Loved and Lost  
By Space Pirate Girl

_Just a Game_

I had forgotten my next class was P.E. . . . So much for sitting down and resting. And if that wasn't bad enough, we were told to go outside into the chilly, autumn air for class, too.

The teacher's name was Gai, and he was really enthusiastic with us. Not that I minded—I just thought he could get a little _too_ excited sometimes. I discovered that my classmates thought the same way about him.

Most of Suigetsu's friends were in this class; the only one I couldn't see was Juugo. And also the majority of Naruto's group was present.

Since it was the first day of school, Gai didn't expect us to have P.E. clothes to change into until next time, so we were simply going to learn the foundations of football. I didn't particularly enjoy football, but during a warm-up exercise I found out I was fine with catching the ball—just not running with it afterwards.

Gai decided to split us up into three teams through the means of team leaders. Most of the Sophomores already knew each other, so I knew I would be one of the last to be chosen, which was always embarrassing.

Rock Lee, already Gai's favorite student; Kiba; and Sasuke were chosen as the team leaders immediately because they were the only ones who volunteered.

Lee went first, and he started with a boy, who appeared to be good at football. No wonder he was Gai's personal favorite; he obviously chose his teammates with great care.

During the second time around, Lee had Naruto, Sakura, and someone with black hair and really light eyes on his team. Sasuke had Suigetsu and Karin while Kiba had two teenagers, named Shino and Shikamaru.

"Ino," Kiba decided cheerfully.

Sasuke was next. I expected him to choose some of the other students that had nothing to do with Naruto's group . . . It was as if Sasuke formed a whole different side to rival Naruto's. But he surprised me when he completely ignored the ones I didn't know, obviously wanting nothing to do with them. He glanced at Naruto's group instead while they glanced away fearfully.

"Natsumi," he said, obviously picking the best choice in the scenario.

I stifled a sigh, and strolled over to them. It was only a class, after all . . . Sakura and Ino, who seemed most suspicious whenever I glanced at Suigetsu and his friends, couldn't be angry over something that wasn't my choice.

I glanced over at the two anyway, just to make sure they didn't care. But their eyes were only focused into a glare at Sasuke.

While Lee and Kiba called one name each, I dealt with my confusion by staring at Suigetsu. "Why me?" I asked politely.

"Because Sasuke hates everyone who's not on his side," Karin said.

My eyes jumped toward hers in shock. She actually spoke nicely to me—but then again, I had really only heard her tone of voice when she was yelling at Suigetsu or flirting with Sasuke. Maybe she was _always_ sincerely polite when talking to people, whom she didn't know that well.

"But _I'm_ not on his side," I reminded.

"You're not on theirs either," Suigetsu commented, smirking. "You _can_ play football, right?"

"Ugh, fish boy only cares about winning in this class, Natsumi. Watch out," Karin complained.

Suigetsu smirked even wider. "Since when have I cared about winning more than _you _do?" he challenged before turning back to me. "Four Eyes is the _real _poor sport over here."

I laughed in frustration. "Don't you two ever stop arguing?"

"Yeah, Four Eyes." Suigetsu used my words against Karin. "You're making her uncomfortable, insulting me like that."

I inconspicuously rolled my eyes, and moved next to Sasuke before I could hear the next retort. "Who are you choosing next?" I asked curiously when it was his turn to call a name.

"I'm not sure yet," Sasuke said, glancing at all of his classmates, one by one.

I glanced around with him. "Maybe you could choose one of the strongest guys," I suggested. "We'd have a better chance of winning."

Sasuke shook his head. "Just because they're guys, doesn't mean they're the best. Kiba didn't choose Ino because he thought she was pretty, you know. He chose her because she was a fast dodger when running with the ball."

"Oh." There wasn't much else to say. I didn't know anyone's special skills here, who was the fastest runner or catcher. In that case, I didn't even know who Sasuke really needed to add to his team.

Finishing his argument with Karin, Suigetsu strolled forward to join the conversation. "So. Who do we need? We have the blockers, the center, and the catcher," he said, nudging me when he said catcher.

I blushed. I wasn't _that_ good at catching, but Suigetsu seemed to have already noticed from the warm-up exercises.

"We need a thrower . . ." Sasuke answered.

"Come on!" Gai commanded. "We don't have all day! Choose the person who exhibits the most youthfulness!"

I giggled. Gai-sensei was weird . . . Seriously, who used the word _youthfulness_?

Suigetsu whispered something into Sasuke's ear, and the raven-haired teenager glanced at him suspiciously.

"Are you sure you're not trying _that_ trick on her again?" Sasuke demanded, eyeing his reaction. "Or is it really because you think she's a good thrower?"

"She had great aim when she's throwing, Sasuke, remember?" Suigetsu argued. "I promise I won't speak a word to her!"

"Fine," Sasuke agreed. "Tenten," he decided.

I gasped. Tenten? She hadn't been chosen by anyone else yet? I scrutinized her as she reluctantly walked forward. When she arrived, the brown-haired girl stood quietly by me and as far away from the other members of our team as she could without appearing awkward.

The only ones left were the ones I never noticed before, who were neither on Sasuke's side or Naruto's side, but who formed a group of their own. Sasuke, Kiba, and Lee just chose random people from then on, already having the required teammates to win.

"All right," Gai began. "Are you all ready?!"

Nobody answered enthusiastically—the reply was more like a dull, "I guess."

But he didn't seem to notice. "Kiba's team will engage Lee's super, awesome, _wonderful_ team in football first! Then the winner will challenge Sasuke's team!" Gai announced, waving his hands dramatically in the air.

Next to me, Tenten sighed while I stifled a laugh. "Is he always like this?" I asked her quietly.

"Yeah . . ."

"Alright, go show me your youthfulness!" Gai shouted one last time as Kiba's and Lee's teams moved onto the field.

"Yes, Gai-sensei!" Rock Lee shouted back obediently.

I saw Tenten dubiously shake her head as Lee ran—no, _skipped_—toward the field. And I thought Gai was bad . . .

For about ten minutes, we were allowed to watch the game, but not sit down. Gai had told us that we were so young that we should never grow tired enough to sit down—or something that had the same meaning. After just a few moments of his speeches, I understood the reason he was a P.E. teacher and not just a regular classroom teacher.

"So what do you think of Gai-sensei?" Suigetsu asked me, moving to stand beside me.

Startled by the sudden question in the silence, I shrugged. "Uh . . . he's okay . . . I guess."

"_I _think he's awful," Suigetsu responded bluntly.

I smiled before realizing Tenten's frantic glare at Suigetsu when he drew closer. After that, I subconsciously began to panic. I felt as though I were the victim of a mental game of tug-o'-war. Tenten stood—frozen, I noticed—on one side of me while Suigetsu stood on the other side. Both of them were staring at me, hoping I would ignore the other one.

Yet I couldn't just grow to hate or even ignore someone when the only reason was that a fight had taken place between friends, long before I came here. I was neutral, the rope's center, which still hung over the mud, Suigetsu pulling one side of me while Tenten yanked at the other.

Maybe I'd be better off by ignoring them both . . .

Sasuke could have never guessed how thankful I was to him when he walked over to us, bringing Karin along with him; he had interrupted my discontent.

"Okay, so here's the plan," Sasuke began. Obviously he didn't care much about the other team members, he had chosen randomly. "Tenten, you're going to be the Quarterback, and Karin is going to be the Center. If Natsumi's open, throw it directly to her. Otherwise, just throw it to whoever else is open, or if you see a break in their defense, I'll be your half-back. Got it?"

Tenten bit her lip but nodded. "Who'll be blocking me?" she asked timidly.

"Four Eyes and I will," Suigetsu answered cheerfully.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sasuke shoot a warning glance at Suigetsu.

"What? She asked a question!" Suigetsu argued at some unknown issue.

"She didn't ask _you_, Suigetsu," Sasuke said coldly. "Not one more word."

_Not one more word_,I repeated in my head. Suddenly I remembered Suigetsu, promising not to say anything to Tenten . . . But why?

Sasuke intervened before I could ask my question. "Natsumi, you'll be the wide receiver. Just try to get as far across the field as you can and then catch the ball, okay?"

"'Kay," I agreed.

"Suigetsu and Karin," Sasuke continued, "you already know what to do."

Gai-sensei strolled up to us. "Is your team ready, Sasuke?" he asked glumly. "Kiba's team has won, so you'll be fighting them."

Sasuke nodded, and we headed onto the field as Lee's team left in defeat. Despite Lee's attempts to pick the strongest of his male classmates and despite his enthusiasm, I guess he still lost.

Oh well, it was just a game, after all. Or so I thought . . .

**A/N****: I hope you liked the new chapter :-) Today is a good day for me :-) Suigetsu is actually catching up on my poll!! xD hehe. But now I'm in a Sasuke mood . . . so Sasuke-likers, go vote on my poll!! :-D LOl :-)**

** I only have part of Chapter 4 written, so I'll put a preview for it :-D Here it is:**

"This is such a drag," Shikamaru responded. "Can't you wait just a few weeks before you go all nuts about Homecoming? I thought you were most interested in seeing your dorm room a few hours ago."

"Oh my gosh, Shikamaru, that was like _so_ lunch!" Ino exclaimed. "You're always like three classes behind what's going on! Sheesh—"

The bell abruptly ended their conversation, and I sighed in relief. Well, it wasn't nearly as bad as Suigetsu and Karin's arguments . . . At least, Ino and Shikamaru didn't fight solely by name-calling.


	4. Lost Friend

**A/N****: Thank you all for the reviews!! :-D Thanks for enjoying this fanfiction!! :-)**

**I know I promised SasukexSakura in the summary, and that will come later :-) (sheesh! it's so hard remembering all the characters!! lol :-P) And honestly, I thought this chapter was awful... but oh well, nothing is perfect. :-)  
**

**Enjoy!! :-D**

* * *

Loved and Lost  
By SpacePirateGirl

_Lost Friend_

That class was the last time I'd ever tell myself that football was _just_ a game. Suigetsu and Karin were the most competitive teenagers I had ever seen. Even Sasuke showed hints of the same emotion during certain points throughout the game.

After remembering exactly how excited everyone on our team was when we won, I'd _never_ want to see them portray the same amount of emotion if we had lost . . . Luckily I had caught almost every ball thrown at me; the real problem was getting open so that I would have the chance to catch the ball. I wasn't very skilled at the whole idea of football yet.

The last class of the day was language arts. I followed Tenten, who also happened to have the same class. She hadn't said a word since P.E. was over, and I wondered if the strange silence was simply her regular personality. Maybe I could ask Sakura later . . .

"So Tenten, do you like football?" I questioned curiously.

"The specific game we just played, or the sport in general?" she asked for clarification.

Her question confused me. Did she really hate Sasuke, Suigetsu, and Karin enough to hate even a simple P.E. class? "Uh . . . the sport in general, I guess," I answered, choosing not to remind her of the last class.

"Then sure, football's great," Tenten answered as a smile grew on her face. "Back in elementary, I used to play on Neji's and Lee's team. That was fun."

"Neji?"

"He's the one with light, violet eyes. And black hair." Her eyes grew distant for a moment as if she were daydreaming. "He's kind of cute, too. I used to have a crush on him."

I laughed, remembering seeing him on Lee's team in P.E. "I guess he _is_ cute in his own way . . . But how come Lee didn't pick you for his team today?"

Tenten frowned with disdain. "Ugh, it's just because he wants to impress Gai-sensei by only choosing male teammates."

"Sakura was on his team," I reminded her.

"Yeah, I know," Tenten responded. "He wants her to be his girlfriend, and so she's the only exception. He stopped choosing me last year, so I just started ignoring him, instead of pleading with him to put me on his team again. Besides, Sasuke's team never cared about gender—" The brunette cut herself off abruptly, and her hands flew over her mouth..

After her hands finally lowered, I realized she wasn't going to say anything else unless I asked her. "Sasuke's team?"

She shrugged. "We were new last year . . . I didn't know the rest of Naruto's group very well."

The answer seemed a bit evasive, but I decided not to question it—just not yet. "So Lee likes Sakura, huh? Who do you like?" I said, attempting to change the subject.

Tenten giggled, and I was glad I had been able to bring her mind off the recent conversation. "I guess . . . I like Kiba at the moment. Who do _you_ like?"

"Um . . . I don't know . . ." I answered, nervously twirling a strand of my hair with a finger. No one had particularly caught my eye yet. I felt a little nervous though for being without a crush, but still . . . it was only the first day.

Keeping that thought in mind, I realized how much had really happened in only three out of four classes on the first day . . . _Wow_ was the only word that came to mind.

"You've been hanging out with Hebi—I mean, Sasuke's friends—a lot." Tenten brought my awareness back to the current conversation. "Like any of them?"

The word _Hebi_ again? How did Tenten know? I pushed my own wondering aside, not wishing to act nosy, and focused on Tenten's recent question. Suigetsu's face popped into my mind, but I shook my head. It was too soon to develop a crush.

But Tenten hadn't failed to notice the small blush settling on my cheeks. "Who?" she demanded instantly.

"No one, Tenten," I told her, partly trying to convince myself. At that moment, we reached the Language Art's classroom, and I saw Sakura with an upset look on her face. Thankful for the distraction, I gestured at my pink-haired classmate while making sure my voice was low enough for only Tenten to hear. "What's wrong with Sakura?"

"She likes Sasuke," Tenten stated. She seemed as though she had forgotten all about my recent denial. "And she only likes Lee as a friend. Sasuke use to pick her as a teammate in elementary, so she's upset that he doesn't anymore while Lee is desperately trying to grab her attention."

I didn't miss the hint of resentment at Lee in her voice. "You really miss being on Lee's team, don't you?"

"Not so much as I hate being on Sasuke's team," she responded easily.

I laughed at the irony of the situation, and soon Tenten joined me. After all, Sakura wanted to be on Sasuke's team, but instead was chosen for Lee's while Tenten desired just the opposite.

Tenten recovered first from the laughter. "Yeah, I know. It _is_ sort of funny."

I nodded, still giggling, and took my seat in the language art's classroom.

The teacher—Kurenai—had projected a seating chart onto the board, and I couldn't help but notice a pattern. She had apparently tried to split up Naruto's and Sasuke's groups, but, just as obviously, had failed miserably.

There were just too much of Naruto's friends, and only four of Sasuke's. The problem was that only Juugo and Suigetsu were present in this class, reducing Sasuke's number down to only a couple.

As more of the class took their seats, I realized I sat directly in between Ino and Shikamaru. And it only took about thirty seconds for me to realize that this was definitely _not_ a good thing.

"Shikamaru, won't you ever understand the importance of life?" Ino demanded over the top of me. "You just _have_ to get a date, or else at homecoming you'll have no one to go with!"

Shikamaru sighed in boredom. "Homecoming is in months, Ino. I have plenty of time."

"No! You don't!" Ino argued. "Soon all the girls will be gone, and you'll be left with no one."

I laughed inwardly. It was apparent to any outsider whom Ino wanted to go to Homecoming with, and she just wanted to be absolutely positive that she had that someone in her cluches very early—early as in the first day of school.

"This is such a drag," Shikamaru responded. "Can't you wait just a few weeks before you go all nuts about Homecoming? I thought you were most interested in seeing your dorm room a few hours ago."

"Oh my gosh, Shikamaru, that was like _so_ lunch!" Ino exclaimed. "You're always like three classes behind what's going on! Sheesh—"

The bell abruptly ended their conversation, and I sighed in relief. Well, it wasn't nearly as bad as Suigetsu and Karin's arguments . . . At least, Ino and Shikamaru didn't fight solely by name-calling.

"Good morning class," began Kurenai's strict voice. "For those of you who don't know who I am, my name is Kurenai, and I will be teaching your language arts class. Now there are several rules all of you must follow in order to succeed . . ."

I let her voice become background static in my head. Nothing new was happening—the rules couldn't be much different from other classes. The only difference would probably be that Kurenai would be more rigid with them.

When a hand tapped my shoulder, I glanced back to find Suigetsu, sitting straight behind me.

"Yo," he whispered.

I smiled, and turned to face forward, grabbing a piece of paper from my backpack as I went. Before I hadn't realized he sat behind me on the seating chart, so I decided to take advantage of it while I could.

_In P.E. today—why did Sasuke get mad at you for talking to Tenten? _I finished my message on the piece of paper, making sure the letters were as neat as possible, and then I folded the paper twice, tossing it behind me while Kurenai was looking a way.

Normally I wouldn't have asked; I was never extremely curious. But this time, I was sincerely worried about Tenten, and, if I was too nervous to ask her, then I could ask Suigetsu. Somehow I felt that he had something to do with it.

Before I could turn around, Suigetsu had thrown the note straight at my head. It bounced off and hit the ground while I heard Suigetsu snicker. Reaching to retrieve the fallen note, I rolled my eyes at him.

_Because I promised not to, of course_, I deciphered from his messy handwriting. Come to think of it, I'd never seen a single boy with completely legible handwriting anyway.

I read the answer twice, and succumbed to the urge to roll my eyes again. _Suigetsu! That's not what I meant_, I wrote again, annoyed with his evasiveness. _Why did you promise that in the first place? Is Tenten mad at you for some reason—_

He snatched it before I had a chance to finish putting the question mark. I assumed he was impatient with my slow yet, at least, somewhat _readable _penmanship.

This time, I prepared to catch the note, instead of being hit on the head, but Suigetsu simply just handed it to me politely as if he had never thrown anything in his entire life.

_She thought I had a crush on her last year, but I didn't. That's all._

I read the two sentences twice in order to make sure I hadn't missed anything . . . It was difficult to miss anything, however, when Suigetsu was being so vague. Besides, I also wanted to know what Sasuke meant when he asked if Suigetsu was trying "that trick on her again".

_Sasuke implied more than just __that__, Suigetsu_, I wrote neatly. Just as I was about to hand the note back, Kurenai snatched it from my hand. I had been so absorbed in the conversation that I hadn't remembered I was still in class.

My face heated up instantly as the teacher strode back up to the head of the classroom, and opened the note.

"Didn't I just say that none of you were allowed to pass notes to each other?" Kurenai demanded. "Now usually I would send you both to the office, but I think this time, I'll just read the note aloud."

There went my reputation . . . I had never spoke behind someone's back in my life, and surely the note would sound exactly as though I were gossiping when I really just wanted to understand Tenten a little better without hurting her feelings. If it were possible, I felt my face grow to an even darker shade of red as she read each and every word out loud, leaving nothing out.

I glanced at Tenten. Her cheeks appeared even more flushed than mine felt. And, I noted nervously that most of it wasn't due to embarrassment, but rather anger.

"Apparently you lucked out, Natsu-chan," Suigetsu whispered from behind me. "Kurenai would've sent us both to the office if she were in any worse of a mood."

Immediately my face went from pink to white. I doubted that the office was worse than what had just happened. Maybe I would end up forced to choose Sasuke's side, after all.

* * *

The bell rang, relieving me of my misery, and I ran to the restroom to compose myself. I locked one of the stall doors, and allowed the tears to stream down my face at what I had done.

My goal was to understand Tenten and, in turn, become a better friend to her, but just the opposite had happened. I had only hurt her feelings even more, and had become a lousy friend if not an enemy.

Curiosity killed the cat, I supposed, growing more and more angry with myself. Was getting to know somebody my excuse for being so nosy?

The door opened, and I heard soft footsteps move closer to the stall, I currently was hiding in.

"Natsumi? Is that you?" asked a shy voice.

I knew at once that the girl was Hinata, whom I had met in choir. "Yes," I answered without hesitation, also knowing that Hinata was very nice and wasn't here to yell or to make fun of me. I opened the stall door.

"I'm sorry about what happened with Kurenai," she said sincerely. "It's happened to everyone, you know."

I frowned at my feet. "I know, but . . . I just . . ."

"Tenten _is_ angry with you," Hinata supplied when I said no more. "But she'll get over it soon. Most of the time, the person who hurt someone else in the first place is the person who remembers it the longest."

I nodded, learning enough from experience to know that what she had said was true. "I wasn't trying to hurt her feelings though—"

"I know," Hinata cut me off, a small smile playing on her lips. "You just wanted to see if there was any way to help her. We've all asked her about what happened last year."

"Really?" I asked, relieved that I wasn't the only one to try that approach.

"Yeah, you were just the first one to ask . . . him, instead."

I sighed. "Hinata, I really would have asked Tenten herself, but every time I mention Suigetsu, she seems upset."

Hinata smiled again. "You don't need to explain yourself. I understand perfectly."

"Thanks, Hinata," I said. "I feel so much better now—"

Suddenly the bathroom door burst open, and I saw Tenten, wiping her eyes with a hand. She appeared to be trying to hide in one of the stalls as I had done earlier, but she froze when she saw Hinata and me.

"_You're_ here, Natsumi?" she started, anger evident in her voice. "I thought you could be my friend! I really did! Seriously after all this time of being left out, you came here, and I thought it might actually be possible! But _no_ . . . You just had to become friends with those _traitors_, instead!"

She paused, but not for too long before frowning again. "I hate you! I bet you _all _talk behind my back! What has Sasuke or Karin said about me, huh?! And what about Suigetsu? I bet he's told you my whole life story by now!""

The words stung—partly because she was demonstrating pure anger, but mostly because I could understand the hidden meanings behind her words. Being rejected by Lee in P.E., thinking Suigetsu had a crush on her when he didn't, having no friends in freshman year when she started ignoring both Lee and Neji. She really was alone at this school—the odd one out.

And then the parts about the gossip. Of course, Sasuke's group had stayed relatively quiet about what had happened between her and Suigetsu . . . Yet she would never believe that now.

"_I_ don't hate you," was all I managed to get from my voice. What else was there to explain? She was right about nearly everything . . .

Tenten's glare deepened. "That's all you can say?! I bet you're not even sorry—not _you_ with your perfectly curled, blonde hair, or your perfect face, or your perfect facade of kindness—"

"I'm _not_ perfect," I interrupted abruptly yet kindly. "Nobody is."

Hinata suddenly stepped in between us, and pulled my hand. I had forgotten she was even there . . . "Come on, Natsumi. Let's go," she encouraged.

"Be careful, Hinata," Tenten warned. "She's a traitor, just like the rest of Sasuke's friends."

Hinata chose to ignore that comment, and strode out of the girl's restroom. I was about to follow, but decided to tell Tenten one last thing.

"You're wrong, you know," I told her.

"What?!" she exclaimed.

Not wanting to reply, I moved past her to reach the door when she grabbed my arm.

"Wrong about what, Natsumi? Tell me already!"

"I _am _sorry. . . Truly, I am."

Shocked, the brunette released my hand, and I followed Hinata out the door. I found Sakura, who was also waiting with Hinata, and she laughed, forgetful of whatever my dreadful note had said.

"Don't worry, Natsumi, Kurenai's caught all of us passing notes," she said, amused. "It was nothing against you."

I clasped my hands behind my back and simply nodded. No need to trouble her about my argument with Tenten.

"Come on," Sakura continued. "Let's go see our dorm rooms!"

* * *

**A/N: I love this fanfiction, it's so fun to write :-D (and it's something to do during my writer's block on other fanfictions :-) so YAY!)**

**Hope you all liked it, whoever's reading this :-) I'll update soon!! (hopefully next week)**

**And Happy late Easter!! (my family thought this sunday was Easter, instead of last Sunday, so I'm sorta behind... lol)**

**Sorry I don't have a preview for the next chapter... I haven't even started it yet... Well, anyway, see ya later!! :-D**


	5. A New Moon

**A/N**** Sorry for not updating this or anything in forever, and not really replying to PMs... I'm having some seriously family problems that pop up literally every two days. I'm really doing my best to keep in contact with everyone and stuff, so... be patient. My problems will hopefully be over soon. :-) I hope you all enjoy my new chapter!!  
**

Loved and Lost  
By SpacePirateGirl

_A New Moon_

After stopping in the long line at the office to see our dorm room numbers, Hinata, Sakura, and I began our trek across the courtyard. As soon as we reached the door to the building, several of the boys joined us, and luckily I was getting better with names.

"Hey, Sakura!" Naruto exclaimed happily. Then he turned to Naruto and Hinata, and grinned widely. "Hi, you guys."

I smiled in reply. "Hi." When I heard no sound from Hinata, I glanced at her, only to find her face growing red.

"Uh, Hinata, are you okay?" I asked curiously after noticing Naruto seemed just as confused as I.

"She has a crush on Naruto," Sakura whispered gently in my ear. "And he doesn't know."

"Oh."

Hinata finally grew a little less flushed. "Um . . . hi, Naruto. H-how was your—er—day?"

"It was great!" Naruto answered, his grin reappearing. "It's the first day of school, too, which means we don't have any homework!"

The quieter one behind Naruto, finally moved to join the conversation. He wore sunglasses, and a lengthy jacket. Fortunately I remembered his name to be Shino. "Should we all go see our dorm rooms now?" he asked.

"Sure," Sakura agreed, and the five of us began walking into the building.

Everyone decided Sakura's was first since it was closest. I had no idea why everyone thought this was so exciting, and neither did Hinata; it must have been a popular-student thing.

While we began going to Naruto's next, I suddenly had a great idea about what happened just a half-hour ago. If Suigetsu wouldn't tell me, and Tenten was angry with me, then maybe one of Sasuke's friends would tell me what happened last year. And then I'd know what _not_ to say around Tenten so that I couldn't get her upset.

But how would I know where Sasuke and his friends were? Maybe if someone had his dorm number . . . My eyes took notice of Sakura, who still had a major crush on Sasuke. I'd been around girls such as her before—they knew _everything_ about the boys, they liked.

"Hey, Sakura? What's Sasuke's dorm number?" I asked, once we reached Naruto's room and found out he was sharing with Kiba.

She turned on me, eyes furious. "Why do you ask?"

I hadn't thought about this part. What would be my excuse? The truth definitely wouldn't work this time.

"Um . . . I wanted to go yell at him for choosing Tenten and me for his team in P.E."

"Oh," Sakura responded, half-laughing. "I thought it was 'cause you wanted to flirt with him, or something . . ."

I smiled and shook my head.

"It's 411, which means it's on the fourth floor," she explained. "Good luck. He doesn't really react to yelling . . ."

I grinned again and went toward the stair. The fourth floor was the top one, so, when I reached the end of the stairs, I knew I was there.

Finding room number 411, I hesitated before knocking. I wasn't really sure what to expect in Sasuke's reaction to my arrival. And Sasuke _was _a little scary sometimes . . . Finally summoning my bravery, I tapped gently on the door.

The door was opened in only a few seconds, and Sasuke stood, staring at me, completely void of emotion.

"Uh . . . hi," I said nervously.

"You came here about Tenten?" he guessed.

I shuffled my feet. "Kind of . . ."

Sasuke held the door open further, an invitation for me to come in. I took a huge breath and stepped in, trying not to panic when he closed the door behind me.

"I probably shouldn't have come," I told him nervously. I had realized to late that I should have just left things the way they were—I was getting a little too nosy.

"Probably not," Sasuke agreed. "But I'm going to tell you what happened last year anyway because . . . well, you'll see. Things aren't always as they seem."

"So how did you know why I came here?" Well, I would be surprised if the whole school didn't know that yet, but I still found it odd that someone as isolated as Sasuke would know.

"Suigetsu told me," Sasuke answered coldly. "He thought it was funny apparently." The teenager was staring angrily at the wall as if something was bothering him.

I fidgeted. "It wasn't funny?"

Sasuke shook his head, but told me to sit down. I obeyed immediately, and he sat down across from me.

"Well, you have to know some background on us first," Sasuke began. "Karin obviously likes me; I'm sure you've noticed by now. But I think Suigetsu likes her. He doesn't really know how to flirt, so he just teases her instead."

I gasped. "So that's why they argue so much?"

Sasuke nodded. "Last year, Tenten came, and she immediately had a crush on Suigetsu. He led her on the entire year only to make Karin jealous. Of course, it never worked on Karin, in the least. She was totally oblivious to what was going on. Suigetsu still didn't give up on her though, not until the very end (he is really stubborn actually), and at Prom dance, he betrayed Tenten when he told her he never liked her one bit the whole year. She ended up staying in her dorm room crying all night instead of attending Prom."

"That's awful!" I exclaimed. Who could lead someone on for so long only to cast her off as if she were dirt? It just . . . wasn't right.

"I'm telling you this as a warning, Natsumi," Sasuke said, analyzing my emotions carefully. "This year, he may be trying it again . . ."

I shook my head. "That's impossible. He hasn't been speaking to _any_ girls except Karin and . . ."

"You," Sasuke finished.

"Me?!" I couldn't decide whether Suigetsu's kindness had really just been an act or not, now that I thought about it. "You're wrong," I said suddenly, surprising even myself. "People change, Suigetsu included."

Sasuke shrugged. "Suit yourself. I'm only warning you."

"Thank you." I nodded, and stood up to take my leave. "By the way, if anyone asks, I did nothing but yell at you the entire time."

He appeared slightly amused though the emotion vanished quickly. "You lied to them? Maybe you'll end up choosing our side, after all."

"Maybe . . ." I responded as a smile grew on my lips. "But whoever said I don't lie to you, too?"

Sasuke gave a slight sigh. "It's really annoying, Natsumi—that you'd do anything to stay neutral, to avoid a fight. Frankly you're completely selfless, and lots of people will take advantage of that."

"I guess," I answered, unsure, worried that he was wrong about my personality. I wasn't selfless at all . . . "But it's better than being the one _to_ take advantage."

He shrugged again, but said nothing, so I took that as a signal to leave. Taking my book bag, I left quickly and ran down the hall toward my dorm room, number 432.

I opened the door and raced inside to lie on the bed. I had seriously screwed up my first day of school. Everything had gone wrong . . .

After calming myself down a bit, I sat up and studied the room. Red carpet covered the floor, and a few windows existed on one wall. Basically it was one room with different sections—the kitchen, a desk, and the bedroom with two beds.

Come to think of it, I couldn't quit remember who my roommate was. And why wasn't she here to check out the dorm as well?

Not having much to go on, I decided to go find Sakura again, and hang out with her and her friends for the rest of the day. But right when I reached the door, it opened, and there--Tenten stood in shock.

All it took was one single glance at my face, and she completely ignored me, walking in as I numbly moved out of her way.

Tenten frowned when she sat on the other bed as she placed her book bag on the ground, next to her feet. "I heard that you decided to yell at Sasuke."

I nodded, still standing motionlessly at the door.

"I didn't hear any yelling when I passed there," Tenten commented.

I raised an eyebrow. "You were eavesdropping?"

She shrugged. "More or less. So that's all the note was about today?"

I nodded and finally moved to sit next to her on the bed. "I'm really sorry about that—"

"If that's all you wanted to know, why didn't you just ask me?" Her voice sounded hurt in a way. "Do you just hate me or something?"

I shook my head rapidly. "No! I could never hate _anyone_, especially you!"

Tenten frowned again. "Then why, Natsumi? Why didn't you just ask me?"

"Well, I . . . You're always so sad when I talk about Suigetsu . . ."

Tenten smiled as she suppressed a tiny laugh. "I guess that's true. I'm sorry I got mad at you then."

I shook my head. "No, _I'm_ sorry, Tenten. You're right; I should've asked you, instead of the others."

"Let's just forget it happened, 'kay?"

"Okay." I sighed in relief. It was good to be friends with her again. I hated being caught in a fight with someone more than anything else.

Tenten grinned. "So I guess we're roommates if this is your Dorm room, too."

"Yeah . . ." I glanced at her. "Kind of strange we are, isn't it?"

The brunette laughed. "Also lucky." She paused. "By the way, if you're planning to visit any boys' rooms again, don't get caught. You could get sent to detention . . . Teachers are so suspicious when a guy and a girl are together in a room."

"Oh." I was a little sad to hear it because most of my friends at the school I last attended _were_ teenage guys.

"Do you know where Sakura is?" Tenten asked me suddenly as she jumped up from the bed and headed toward the door.

"By now, they're probably at Shino's dorm room," I answered. Recalling the room number, I told her, "it's 314."

"Thanks!" Tenten was just about to leave when she stopped and turned back around. "Actually Sakura and her friends were going to find a restaurant to eat at after they looked at their dorms . . . Like McDonald's or something. You should come, too."

Reluctantly I stood up. "Would that be all right with them?"

"Duh," she said humorously. "Even if it wasn't, with all of Sakura's and Ino's friends, do you think they would notice you anyway?"

I shrugged. "Guess not . . ."

Tenten sighed as she entered the room again and grabbed my arm. "Come on before they leave without us."

"Okay," I replied with a smile, allowing her to pull me down the hall quickly.

Out of breath, we reached Shino's dorm room, barely catching the group of friends as they made their way out. Some more people had joined them, including Ino, Kiba, and Shikamaru.

"Tenten!" Ino exclaimed. "I was wondering where you were! We were just about to leave without you."

Tenten laughed. "I'm glad I made it in time."

Kiba had backed to the far end of the cluster of friends, and I wondered what had gotten into him. Before, when I met him, he had seemed friendly and especially outgoing. Why he had hid himself behind everyone else, I wasn't sure.

"Sakura, I'm hungry!" Naruto whined over the top of everyone talking.

Sakura sighed in frustration. "You're always hungry . . ." She turned to her friends. "Okay! We're going to McDonald's now! It's the closest restaurant to the school!" she yelled so that everybody could hear her.

I hadn't thought anyone had paid attention, but suddenly everybody started strolling down the hall to the elevator. Once outside of the dorm room building, Sakura led the way, along with Ino, talking by her side.

I moved toward Hinata, who was the quietest of the bunch, because I really didn't feel like talking.

"Hello, Natsumi," Hinata's light voice greeted. "How was your talk with Sasuke?"

Growing red with embarrassment at the memory, I covered it up with a smile. "Well . . . I guess it went okay. Sakura was right. He didn't really react to me yelling at him." Desperately I searched for a way to change the subject. "So who's your roommate again? I forgot."

"Sakura actually . . . I feel sorry for her though since she, uh, wanted to be paired with Ino this year." Hinata shrugged and smiled. "Oh well. They'll probably visit each other's rooms a lot since they're such good friends."

I nervously stared at my feet, walking down the sidewalk, following everyone else. Something in Hinata's voice sounded sad. "Oh . . . If you ever feel lonely, you can visit Tenten and me then," I said, hoping to brighten her up again.

"Thank you . . . That would be nice," she answered, happy again.

Stifling a sigh of relief, I glanced back to see Kiba, walking behind everyone. "I'll talk to you later, Hinata."

She nodded, so I drew back to start walking with him. "Hi," I greeted.

"Hey," Kiba said in his usual voice. "What's up?"

"Not . . . much. There's little to do while you're walking down the street."

He laughed heartily. "Haha, I guess that's true."

I laughed as well and looked up to see the McDonald's sign. "I guess we're here."

"Yep!"

About to follow the rest of them, I was stopped by Kiba gently grabbing my shoulder. "Hey, can you keep a secret, Natsumi?" he asked nervously.

"Of course."

A few moments of silence passed before he said anything. "Um . . . Never mind, I'll tell you later," he replied instead, and followed his friends into McDonald's.

I followed him shortly after and ordered what I wanted to eat from the person at the desk. Then I sat down beside Tenten, who remained staring at the wall.

"Kiba's been acting so strange today," she told me. "Last year, he was so much more enthusiastic about things . . . But now it seems whenever I'm around, he's distant."

I looked at her sympathetically before the waiter came by and handed everyone their food. "You like Kiba, don't you?" I asked.

Sipping at her drink, Tenten shrugged. "I guess I don't really have much of a chance if he never talks to me."

"Let's talk about something else," I suggested, trying to change the mood. "How about . . . we talk about—"

Ino started yelling from across the room. "Shikamaru! Stop being so damn lazy, and put the honey mustard on the chicken nuggets yourself! I mean, Hinata's nice and all, but that's no reason to ask her for a favor when she's too nice to say no!"

"All right, all right," Shikamaru responded, trying to cover his ears inconspicuously. "Why don't you put the honey mustard on then?"

"Because _you_ should!"

"And why should I?"

"Because it's your food!"

"Actually I was going to share it with everybody . . . It's troublesome after you eat too much at a fast-food restaurant."

"Well, I'm not going to touch your chicken nuggets because I'm on a diet," Ino declared. "So ask someone else to put that silly honey mustard on."

"Women are so confusing," he said to no one in particular. "I thought you just told me _not_ to ask someone else."

Tenten and I laughed at their continued bickering.

"Gee," the brunette said, "they argue like an old couple . . ."

I nodded in agreement. "You think Ino will ask Shikamaru to Homecoming?"

"No . . ." Tenten paused in thought. "She'd rather get him to ask her. Except Shikamaru never learned how to dance, so I wish Ino the best of luck in getting him to go to Homecoming."

I laughed again. "It's kinda early to be worrying about a dance though."

"That's what Shikamaru's excuse is, too. But really," Tenten explained, "once you've seen how quickly available dates disappear, you'll understand that the first day of school _is_ the day to worry about it."

"How odd."

"Yep. But anyway, who do you want to go to Homecoming with? You never answered me earlier."

Evasiveness was never really my thing . . . I didn't like avoiding telling the truth. But I was going to try it anyway. "I don't even know everyone yet . . ."

"Come on, Natsumi. Spill it," Tenten urged. "'I don't know,' isn't a name."

"Uh . . ." I hesitated before answering. "I would be happy to go with any guy I've met so far. But it would be kind of nice to go with Suigetsu."

Tenten frowned at the table. "Oh, I see. He's not very big at asking girls out to dances. Last year, he totally dumped me, and he's such an ignorant jerk—"

"Please . . ." was all I could say. I hated interrupting people because I myself hated being interrupted by others, as well. But somehow my heart was beating so fast, and my ears were heating up so quickly, that I couldn't handle her saying anymore negative things about Suigetsu. This was why I was so reluctant to answer her question about Homecoming in the first place. Just like with Sasuke, warning me about how Suigetsu could be using me. Yes, I was grateful for the warning, but it was _my _choice whether to listen or not. I had no idea why I was acting in such a selfish way, but Suigetsu was a touchy subject—I had noticed he was a touchy subject with everyone and not just myself.

Tenten studied my face, and I felt she understood everything going on inside of me. "Sorry . . . I wasn't thinking. I'll stop."

"Thank you." Unable to keep myself from crying (and really, I had no idea _why_ I wanted to cry at all), I left McDonalds, and started walking down the long, deserted sidewalk, hoping I would make it back to my dorm room by sunset.

Despite my desperate wishes, the sun set in only a few minutes. I admitted to myself that I was nervous in the dark, but I kept walking toward my dorm room with confidence I would make it back soon.

But, once again, my wishes were denied. I couldn't help but hear someone following me . . . Every so often glancing back, I kept walking without urgency, still hoping I was only imagining things. But the last time I glanced back, I was sure I saw someone.

I stood frozen still for a long moment as if waiting for someone to jump out and scare me. Suddenly my cell phone rang, startling me, and I shrieked a little. Recognizing the call to be from Tenten, I remembered giving her my phone number sometime during P.E.

"Yes?" I answered numbly.

"Where are you? The sun's down and you're out there alone!" she exclaimed. "You shouldn't have left like that."

I took deep breaths to calm myself as I fully realized my situation. "I know. I'm stupid. Where are you?"

"We're just heading back," Tenten told me. "Stay where you are, and we'll be with you in a few minutes."

"All ri—" I was not able to finish my sentence because when I looked up, two teenage boys were standing in front of me. Glancing back, I saw another behind me.

Tenten's voice was suddenly worried. "Natsumi, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

Nothing came out of my mouth.

One of the teenagers slowly reached out, grabbed my cell phone, and tossed it away on the ground. I couldn't even move my arms to stop him. Tenten's panicked voice could still be heard, trying to get a response from me.

"Are you lost?" the one behind me asked in a menacing voice.

I shook my head once. "No, not really. I'm just . . . waiting for some friends."

One, who hadn't spoken yet, smirked.

"Who will be here in a few minutes, I should tell you," I added.

"They aren't that close; you know as well as we do."

I laughed without humor. "I guess you're right." Suddenly my legs moved on their own accord, kicking the man who seemed to be in charge in the crotch, and running as fast as they could. The night was so dark—a new moon. I couldn't see a thing, which was probably why I tripped over something in the dark.

All I could remember was hitting my head hard on the ground before everything darkened. I was so stupid.

**A/N****: OMG! You know when I was writing this... It was really annoying... because I usually end it somehow at six pages. But this time I went all the way to eight!! When I went back to edit it (which took longer since I made it an extra two pages), I started adding even MORE :'( LOl. So then I had to edit that, and I kept adding more... It was really annoying. :'( So that's actually why I don't have a preview for the next chapter... Cuz I just couldn't end this one with enough time to spare. But anyway, I'll try my best to update soon!! If I didn't reply to all the reviews on the last chapter, I'm really really sorry... I'm still trying to get caught up with myself. I will reply eventually. :-)**

**See you next chapter. :-)**


	6. Forever Long As Possible

**A/N**** Okay. This chapter probably was really poorly written and especially poorly edited. Usually I have enough patience to wait a few days before I start editing, and stuff, but these last few days . . . Well, I guess I should stop writing things the day I promised to post them. Hehehe . . . Yep! Oh, and I've decided that this will have a sequel (I know. It's a long way from being finished), but believe it or not, I actually plan ahead with my stories! So I know how this is going to end, and it will definitely have a sequel. I would say more about couples and stuff, but that would give TOO much away. So you'll just have to wait until this is over. :-D But anyway, thanks for reviews! And enjoy the new chapter!**

Loved and Lost  
By SpacePirateGirl

_Forever Long As Possible_

My eyes opened slowly because of my fear to wake up. The memories of what had happened had already returned, swamping my mind with fright and darkness.

Where was I? My shared dorm room? I was on one of the two beds?

First, I saw a face with warm, honey eyes and chocolate hair, staring at me with a worried expression. Tenten. Then I noticed another person with hair as silver as the moon and purple eyes. He did not appear so worried though.

"See, Suigetsu? I told you to shut up!" Tenten exclaimed. "You woke her up."

"She's _fine_," Suigetsu responded. "Perfectly fine. You're worried over nothing."

I tried to sit up, but Tenten pushed me back down. I was glad she had, too, because a throbbing pain pulsed though my head, the moment I moved. "Suigetsu?" I asked still confused as to the reason he was there.

"Natsumi," Tenten said, her voice still concerned, "are you all right? Does your head hurt?"

"I winced as I shifted my head. "I think I'm okay. But what happened?"

Tenten opened her mouth, closed it again, and glared at Suigetsu. "He can explain," she told me reluctantly.

Suigetsu grinned before he went on to describe the recent situation. "Well, _somebody_ decided to let you wander off alone at night—"

"I did not!" Tenten protested. "I didn't even know Natsumi was leaving!"

"Yeah, yeah." Suigetsu paused before going on. "Well, anyway, me and my friends—you know, Sasuke, Karin, and Juugo—happened to be headed in the same direction. We saw you running from those . . . transfer students this year, and I saved you," he declared proudly.

Tenten shook her head, denying what he said. "Not really . . . technically—"

"You're right," Suigetsu interrupted. "_Technically_ Sasuke was the first to tell us to save you, and he was the one to bring you here . . . But _I_ was the one to stick around with you to make sure you were okay."

Tenten rolled her eyes. "But you just told me, 'she's _fine_,'" my friend mocked.

I sighed in distress. "Please don't argue."

Suigetsu and Tenten apologized quickly.

"Well, I better get back in time for third period," Tenten said finally. "See you later, Natsumi." She picked up her bag and strolled toward the door, waving as she went.

"It's already third period?" I panicked, trying to sit up again, but this time, Suigetsu stopped me before my head could start aching.

"Don't worry," he told me calmly. "It's only the second day, and it's a block schedule. So I doubt you'll have to catch up on anything."

I nodded with relief. "But still . . . I made _you_ miss school. I'm really, really sorry!"

He laughed, but I wasn't sure what was so funny—probably an inside joke with his friends. "Nah, it's fine. I miss school all the time. You'll see later in the year."

I smiled, glad he wouldn't be angry at missing the classes. "Um . . . I was wondering."

"Yeah?"

"Well, first, thanks for saving me last night," I began cautiously. "And also . . . you said transfer students. You knew those guys last night?"

Suigetsu shrugged. "More or less. We knew they were from Otogakure High, just like us. But that's all. Orochimaru enjoys manipulating his students to do things like what happened last night. But . . ." He paused. "Sasuke thinks they were sent here to spy on Konoha High. Orochimaru likes to knowing what's going on at rival schools."

The answer didn't sound too vague, but I knew he was leaving a lot out. I didn't really care though; I was just thankful for him being here. Still I felt a little awkward and out of place, once I remembered Sasuke's and Tenten's advice on Suigetsu.

"Suigetsu," I began hesitantly. How could I see if he had changed since last year if I didn't want him to know what I was asking? Frankly I didn't want to listen to the stories framing him for such a rude act. But I didn't want to wander blindly into a trap he had set. "Uh . . ."

He seemed to have read the struggle inside of me. "I was crazy last year, Natsu-chan. I don't know what I was thinking with Tenten and everything."

I smiled, the tension lessening completely. His words sounded sincere enough, and even though most would be hesitant to believe, I couldn't avoid him for something he had never done to me.

This time, Suigetsu didn't stop me when I sat up. "Here," he said, "I'll go get an ice-pack. You're so clumsy to fall on your head like that, you know."

Knowing he was only teasing, I laughed as he stood up and began leaving. "Excuse me for trying to run in the dark!" I retorted, loud enough so he could hear.

His laughter rang in my ears until he was gone for the moment.

Then my thoughts drifted to what had happened the other night.

_Sasuke was the first to tell us to save you, and he was the one to bring you here._

Was that the truth? Tenten hadn't argued with it, and I believed her. But it was just hard to imagine someone as emotionless and cold as Sasuke to save a random person like that. Maybe he was nicer than I had first thought.

While I was waiting, I noticed Tenten had put all of her belongings away on her half of the room before I saw my own bags of belongings, leaning against the wall. I hadn't put anything away yet, so I started right then.

I went to the bag with my sets of clothes in it first, but when I pulled out my shirt, a book fell out.

It was my diary. I recognized it after a moment had passed. I had always been insanely cautious about anyone reading, so even when traveling, I hid it in a bag that no one would suspect it would be in.

Suddenly feeling the urge to write in it, I opened to the first blank page I could find. I rummaged in my other bag for a pen, and began writing as neatly as possible on it.

_**August 28**__**th**_

I glanced at the clock, near the beds, before returning to my journal entry.

_**August 28**__**th**__** – 1:24 P.M.**_

_**It's the second day of school, and I've already managed to miss half of it because of some silly accident. A lot has happened in so short a time.**_

_**Konoha High has two main groups of people. There's the large group that seems more friendly than the other one, but once you get to know them, I think the other group with only four people is much nicer.**_

_**Suigetsu's part of that smaller group. I heard he was a real jerk last year to my first friend here, Tenten. But he said he was just crazy last year and has changed this year, and I believe him. He's really nice actually. Or maybe I'm crushing on him. I don't know.**_

_**It's a little strange though because Sasuke, one of Suigetsu's friends . . . Well, he's so different than everyone else. He hardly talks, but he seems friendly and cold at the same time. He doesn't seem like the type to save a random girl on the street, but . . . He saved me, so maybe I'm wrong.**_

_**Whatever. I'm glad Suigetsu decided to hang around when Tenten left.**_

I stopped writing abruptly when I heard Suigetsu's returning footsteps. I hid my diary back in the bag with my clothes and went back to putting things away. The door opened, and Suigetsu came in with the promised ice-pack. I took it gratefully and held it to my head. The ice already began numbing it.

"Need help?" Suigetsu asked as he knelt down and reached for my bag.

I zipped the bag with my diary shut. "Uh . . . No, I'm good." The paranoia of someone reading my diary was getting to me again.

Suigetsu laughed. "You seem a little anxious there, Natsu-chan. You've got something to hide? Like a diary?"

No point denying the fact now. "Yeah," I said nervously, desperate to think of a different topic. "Hey, if I got ready now, you'd think I'd make it to third period, at least."

He laughed again. "You'd probably make it way before that. Probably before lunch. But anyway, what's in your diary that you're so afraid of showing?"

His pointy teeth made an appearance as he smiled, amused at me.

"It's a diary. _Everything_ in a diary is something worth hiding," I explained indifferently as I reached for my backpack with my free hand and took it to my bed to make sure I had all necessary school things within it.

Suigetsu followed curiously. "You're actually planning to get there for lunch?"

"Yeah. Why not?" I glanced at him. "Technically I'm skipping classes without an excuse note."

"Miss two more full days, and you'll get detention," Suigetsu agreed sarcastically. "Soo scary."

I smiled before realizing I needed to change my clothes. I should've done that while Suigetsu had been gone. "Uh, Suigetsu . . ." I started nervously.

"What?"

"Can you leave for just a second please?"

"Huh? Why?"

I didn't want to embarrass myself by explaining, but then again, I was getting nowhere with silence. Luckily after a few moments he laughed and seemed to understand.

"Oh, sure, no problem," he said, still chuckling as he left.

I sighed in relief or embarrassment—I wasn't sure which—until after a few moments, I was ready and let him in again.

He was still laughing. "You should have said so in the first place, Natsu-chan."

My cheeks grew red, and it didn't help knowing I looked like an idiot holding an ice-pack to my head. "Yeah . . . I struggled with one hand to get my backpack on. It was taking so long . . . if only my head didn't hurt, every time I took the ice-pack off—

My breath got caught in my lungs as the other backpack strap found its way on my shoulder. I felt Suigetsu's breath on my neck as he helped straighten the backpack.

"Ready to go to lunch?" he asked.

I nodded, unable to get my voice to speak. He was so close, behind me yet so close . . .

The ice-pack fell from my loosened grasp, but I didn't care. The throbbing in my head had vanished without warning.

Suigetsu reached down, picked the ice-pack up, and set it on my bed. "Come on then," he said cheerfully, grabbing his own backpack from where he had set it down in the room, and opened the door waiting for me.

I followed, my legs moving on their own accord.

Suigetsu was _definitely_ different this year. Or I was a blind fool.

OoO

"Come on, Natsumi. It won't hurt you anymore than it already has to sit around a bunch of losers," Tenten argued. "Hinata and I are still your friends."

She pulled at my arm, but I ignored her and jerked away. I recounted what had happened when I had walked in with Suigetsu by my side and stood in the long line for food. Every single person at the tables, where Hinata and Tenten sat usually, had first glared at Suigetsu, and then at me. It had surprised me when they had glared at me, for they didn't yesterday when I was with Suigetsu.

But I had chosen to sit on my own, neither with Suigetsu or with Tenten's friends. I hated choosing sides. I was neutral. Easily being seen as an act of pain from hurting my head yesterday, my forehead sank into my hands as I stared at the tray in front of me. I didn't feel like eating anything really. A total waste of money . . .

"Natsumi, come on!" Tenten pleaded. "Please."

I shook my head. "They all hate me now, and you know it. I'd rather sit on my own."

The brunette sighed and sat down across from me. We sat in silence for a few moments until Tenten stood up again. "I'm gonna go get something to eat, O.K.?"

"Kay." I glanced up at her, and she was already leaving. "Tenten," I called.

She stopped to look back.

"Go sit with your friends," I told her as I plastered a false smile on my face. "I won't mind."

Tenten smiled back at me. "Thanks, Natsumi."

Then she was gone, and I was alone. My smile dropped instantly before my eyes began examining the food in front of me. A slice of pizza . . . and one of those tiny cartons of milk. I hadn't picked much out for myself.

Suddenly a hand appeared out of nowhere and grabbed my tray. My eyes jumped up to look at the culprit. "Hey!" I complained. It was Suigetsu. "What?"

"If you're gonna sit at a table all by yourself, you might as well come sit with us," Suigetsu explained.

I bit my lip. "Does Sasuke mind?"

"Nobody minds obviously." He laughed a little. "Otherwise, I wouldn't have offered."

Tenten and Sasuke were wrong. This friend I had made over the last two days was nice, and there was no way he could betray anyone—at least, not anymore. I picked up my backpack, and Suigetsu led me to the table with his friends, telling me to sit down.

It was only after I was sitting that he gave me my tray of food back. This time, I longed to eat the slice of pizza sitting in front of me, but I couldn't deny the fact that I was sitting with near-strangers. I only knew Suigetsu really . . .

Nervously I glanced around at his friends. Karin wasn't even looking at me; she just kept her eyes at Sasuke as she hardly touched her own small amount of food. As for Juugo—he was just eating and occasionally glancing out the window that these four always seemed to sit by. When I finally pulled my gaze to Sasuke, I averted it immediately. His eyes had been examining me . . . When I glanced at him again though, he was looking at Suigetsu—a touch of disappointment on his face. I didn't understand why.

There was hardly any conversation. Somehow I missed the heated arguments between Suigetsu and Karin, for the silence was making me uneasy.

"Hey, Natsu-chan, are you going to eat or what?" Suigetsu teased.

My mind plunged back down to earth, and I smiled, looking at him. "Uh . . . yeah, sorry." I began eating the piece of pizza, but in a few minutes I was done. I looked around at the teenagers and saw that everyone else had finished as well because they had started before me.

"What class do you have next, Natsu-chan?" Suigetsu asked curiously.

"Uh . . ." I sighed when I couldn't remember, and had to pull my schedule out. "Biology with . . . Jiraiya."

"Oh, shoot. I had that yesterday," Suigetsu complained.

"Yeah, and that dumb teacher! He was _such_ a pervert," Karin complained. "He decided to sit us next to the guy we looked good with, and he made me sit next to Fish Boy of all people!"

Suigetsu laughed. "Jeez, Four Eyes, don't leave me out of this. I hate having to sit next to an ugly girl like you for the rest of the year."

"Hey, you jerk! That's not what you thought last year! Remember? With . . ." Karin paused as her eyes glanced at me. "Tenten . . ."

I didn't move my gaze from the table, even as I felt her eyes staring at my head. It was easy to pretend as though I wasn't listening, though my heart was still pounding in my chest. Why wouldn't everyone stop talking about Suigetsu as if he were a bad person? Teenage freshmen were crazy, especially if they were boys. As a Sophomore, boys would become extremely more mature . . . wouldn't they? Well, what did I know about boys anyway?

When I finally looked up, I saw Karin, placing a smile on her face and blushing as she looked at Sasuke. "So, Sasuke-kun . . . What's your next class?"

"Also biology," he answered dryly, not even blinking.

"Ha! Four Eyes, if you were paying attention when we went through all our schedules," Suigetsu began, "then you should already know what he has next! I thought fan-girls like you had a better memory when it came to their crushes' lives."

"Well, excuse me for not having a ridiculously long-lasting memory!" Karin countered. "I can hardly even remember _my_ next class sometimes!"

"Haha, you're such a loser . . ."

There was a silence for one moment, and so stressfully I took the chance to change the subject. "Uh . . . What's your next class, Juugo?"

Juugo tore his gaze away from the window and met my eyes. "Art with Yamato."

"Oh," I supplied, pretending to be sincerely interested. Anything to keep Suigetsu and Karin arguing . . . I had gotten use to the drama, but it reminded me of what Sasuke had said. Suigetsu didn't know how to flirt correctly, so he teased instead. And he teased Karin a lot.

Suigetsu hardly ever teased me.

No, this would work out. Besides, whoever said I liked him anyway? We could just be friends. Yeah, just friends.

Suddenly Sasuke broke into my thoughts when he stood and dumped the contents of his tray into the garbage can. He began leaving to return his tray to the cafeteria when Karin stopped him.

"I can do that, Sasuke-kun," she exclaimed happily.

Sasuke gave her a look as if she was dumb, but she ignored it.

"Hey, Four Eyes, mind taking mine, too?" He was just teasing, and it still was bothering me.

"In your dreams!"

Suigetsu took mine without another word and followed Karin to the stack of trays. The only person I knew as more than a stranger had left. I felt nervous sitting there, unable to speak.

When I pulled my eyes to Sasuke, he was looking at me. "You coming?" he asked.

"Uh . . . where?"

"Biology. The bell will ring soon."

Suigetsu and Karin were still putting the trays back.

"They're going to art, Natsumi. Suigetsu won't be looking for you," Sasuke explained with his emotionless voice.

With one hesitant glance back at Suigetsu, I grabbed my backpack and followed Sasuke. At least, I wouldn't get lost.

The bell rang suddenly, just as we left the cafeteria. Some of the other students had already began heading to class like us, and Sasuke ignored all the girls throwing him seductive looks—or, at least, his face was showing indifference. His hands were clenched into fists.

I didn't blame him for being annoyed. Who wouldn't with all the girls staring at one for his looks, rather than personality? I knew _I _was upset when I fell victim to several of the girl's glares.

Fan-girls. They all traveled in swarms, staring at the ones they loved, but when one of them finally was able to even _speak_ to the said crush, they turned against each other. And I was walking next to _the_ Sasuke Uchiha.

Speaking of which, why was he even letting me? "Sasuke," I started hesitantly.

He seemed to know my question before I even asked. "Because you're not on their side."

Sides. Like in tug-o'-war. I couldn't stand the idea. "Why do you hate them so much?" I asked.

"I don't," he answered coldly. "They hate me."

I looked dubiously at the several girls staring at the Uchiha. They didn't look too hateful toward Sasuke, and more so toward me. "But—"

"They dream about dating me, but if I asked anyone, I guarantee they'd refuse. They believe I betrayed all my friends at this school, Natsumi."

So the only reason he was receiving looks of wonder instead of looks of hate was because of his good looks, his awkward politeness. He had left the obvious unsaid.

Suddenly I spotted Sakura in front of us, and I winced as she pointedly glared at me. I stopped walking as she strode past me, her face angrier than I had ever seen. So Sakura still loved Sasuke, I realized. She was another fan-girl, who hated the Uchiha yet was attracted to him at the same time.

"Come on, Natsumi," Sasuke said impatiently.

I caught up with him while desperately trying to rid the memory of the look she had given me. All over someone like Sasuke? He was attractive, but not _that_ much so. He was the type with which every fan-girl would dream to spend the rest of their life.

Sakura had looked betrayed as she walked past me, even though I was only at Sasuke's side and nothing more. I had absolutely _no_ feelings for Sasuke. I'd have to tell her that later.

"You can't stay neutral for long," Sasuke said suddenly as we strode down the halls to biology.

Maybe he was right. But I wouldn't choose a side until I absolutely had to.

**A/N**** Sorry for any OOCness… I'm really trying my best! If anyone can spot anything wrong, please tell me!! Thanks!!**


	7. An Understanding

**A/N: ****Hello!! Thanks for reviews and enjoy!! And oh yeah, um . . . Suigetsu x OC is coming! I promise! This chapter was just for advanced plot purposes; I needed Sasuke to have a class alone with Natsumi. Don't jump to conclusions though. You'll see why I made this chapter later on. And sorry it was a little Sasuke-centric this time. It's for the same reason. You'll see much later in the story.**

**I felt like this chapter wasn't very good... So sorry for that. But I hope you can enjoy anyway!! :-D**

Loved and Lost  
By SpacePirateGirl

_An Understanding  
_

Sasuke and I walked into the classroom, him leading the way. He had an annoyed expression on his face, and I really hoped it wasn't because of me. He seemed to be looking in the direction of somebody I assumed to be Jiraiya sitting in the teacher's desk.

I looked to Sasuke for an answer. "Is that our teacher? Jiraiya?"

"Yes," he said, irritation clouding his voice.

I bit my lip, hoping even more I wasn't bothering him. Then I glanced back at Jiraiya and watched as he looked at us and wrote something down. What was he writing?

After we had fully entered the room, I noticed Naruto and Sakura coming in behind us, and once more, Jiraiya wrote something down. Again the question of what he was writing crossed my mind, but I chose to ignore it. I glanced at the many tables in the classroom, and how two chairs were at each one. Where would I sit? Sakura was glaring at me, Sasuke was annoyed for some reason, and I didn't know Naruto that well.

After a moment, I decided it didn't matter where I sat really . . . It was only a class.

Just as I was about to go take a seat somewhere, Sasuke stopped me. "Jiraiya will tell everyone where to sit when the bell rings."

Understanding, I nodded.

Leaning on a table, Sakura was talking in a hushed voice to Naruto, and she kept looking pointedly at me. I looked at Naruto nervously. Luckily he was throwing sympathetic glances at me with his knowing, blue eyes.

I smiled thankfully at him, once I realized he knew I was _not_ plotting against Sakura by standing next to Sasuke.

Soon more of the class assembled, but I could only name a few of them. As they entered the room, Jiraiya was writing hastily on a piece of paper that I finally noticed to have rows of boxes on it. Was he writing the seating chart?

The bell rang, declaring the start of class.

The tension radiating from Sasuke's body seemed to increase as did tension from the rest of the students. I frowned in confusion. Did everyone know what was about to happen but me? Was it something bad?

Jiraiya stood up enthusiastically. "All right! I'll be telling you where you sit now!" he exclaimed, a huge grin lighting up his face.

I heard Naruto sigh. "You're such a pervert! I'm surprised they still let you teach!"

"Hey, whoa," Jiraiya argued, his grin falling. "Don't call me a pervert in front of everyone. But anyway . . . Just ignore what Naruto over there says, everyone."

Nervously I crept closer to Sasuke. Did Naruto just call a teacher a pervert? The Uchiha didn't move away from me; he was too busy _glaring _at Jiraiya . . . I guess I would discover everything once Jiraiya told us the seating chart.

"Naruto, you sit there," Jiraiya commanded, his seriousness almost fake, "and Sakura you sit with him."

"What?! That's not fair!" Sakura complained as Naruto cheered happily. I could tell just by looking at him that he had a crush on Sakura.

Jiraiya laughed. "It's not my fault you two walked in together."

What . . . I glanced at Sasuke anxiously and slowly stepped away from him. I wasn't a fool. I could see what was coming, but that didn't mean I would be prepared for it. He simply kept his gaze on Jiraiya.

"Neji, you sit with Hinata over there," Jiraiya continued as if Sakura had never complained.

I glanced at Hinata. She was here?

"Um . . ." Hinata began nervously.

A teenager with long, black hair continued for her: "We're cousins."

Jiraiya looked at them stunned for a moment but then laughed. "Oh, right." He used a pencil to erase on the paper he was holding and changed a few things. "All right, Hinata, you sit with Kiba."

Hinata looked sad as she glanced at Naruto, and I remembered that she had a crush on the blond. Kiba willingly sat beside her though. They looked like good friends.

Jiraiya suddenly turned to me. "You're new here, aren't you?"

"Um . . . yes, I'm Natsumi."

He nodded in approval. "Right. You'll be sitting with Sasuke then."

Though I saw it coming by a long-shot, it still caught me by surprised. I felt my face heat up, and I hoped it wasn't too obvious I was blushing with embarrassment. I didn't even dare look at Sasuke due to the fear of what his reaction would be.

Suddenly I felt someone pulling me along to the table that Jiraiya had pointed at. It was Sasuke.

My head suddenly started hurting . . . On the surface I wished I hadn't discarded the icepack from this morning, but somewhere inside I knew it wasn't a headache. I just couldn't think.

After setting down my backpack beside me, I took my seat and sank my head into my arms, resting it on my desk. What would he think of me now? It wasn't my fault, it wasn't my fault, it wasn't my fault. No wonder he had appeared annoyed, ever since we entered the classroom.

Jiraiya had started talking about rules and regulations as soon as everyone had sat down with the person they had walked in with. Reluctantly I raised my head to listen, only to find a folded paper sitting in front of me. A note? I glanced at Sasuke, who was sitting beside me. He didn't look at me but merely stared ahead at Jiraiya.

I opened the note to read what it said. The handwriting was very neat.

_It's okay. He does this every year. Last year it happened to be Sakura . . ._

I knew exactly what he was talking about—Jiraiya's method of making the seating chart. Somehow knowing that he didn't care made my embarrassment fade away.

_Thanks, Sasuke_, I wrote back and gave him the note. I was particularly careful this time, for now I knew passing notes could land me in serious trouble.

The note was once again next to me, and I unfolded it. What did he have to say now?

_He doesn't care about notes, so don't worry._

I glanced at him in surprise, but he was still staring ahead at Jiraiya. At first, I didn't trust him—maybe he just wanted me to get in trouble—but then I remembered that he was the one who had saved me the night before.

_Okay. Thanks about last night, too._

He looked at the paper I sent to him without folding it up, and returned it.

_You're welcome._

The conversation seemed closed, so I let the note rest by my side, allowing myself to fully listen to what Jiraiya was saying. There were rules to each class, yet they were all in essence the same. Soon Jiraiya started going over what he would be expecting of them throughout the year.

So boring . . . I hoped the next day things would actually start happening. But I knew after homework piled up, I would be wishing it were the first two days of school again.

The class gradually passed by, and after what seemed like hours, it was over. The bell rang, just as Jiraiya finished his lesson, and everyone rose to reach the last class of the day. Sasuke had left before I could even gather my stuff and put it in my backpack. And Sakura came over to me, right when he was gone, obviously not wanting to get on his bad side.

"Natsumi," the pink-haired girl began irritably, "we need to talk."

I would be a fool if I didn't know what she wanted to talk about.

"Please," Sakura added as an afterthought.

I stood up, and she led her out of the classroom, not wanting to be late to the next class. She would begin her interrogations while we walked.

"Why were you with Sasuke?" she asked.

I vaguely felt Naruto walking beside Sakura. "Come on, Sakura-chan! Not _everyone_ likes Sasuke."

Sakura ignored him and turned to me. "Well?"

I began cautiously, "Sakura, I have no interest in Sasuke whatsoever romantically. Okay?"

She puffed, and hair flew out of her face for a moment. "That's what everyone says." She looked at Naruto for a moment. "And yes, _everyone_ likes Sasuke."

I bit my lip. "I thought you both hated him."

Watching Sakura and Naruto lock gazes sadly and then turn away caused me to realize the truth. No, they didn't hate Sasuke . . . Even _Sasuke_ couldn't understand what they really felt for him. But I knew it right then. They didn't want to spurn him from friendship; they wanted him to come back to them, to change his mind.

If only they hadn't been ripped apart by whatever had happened—which was one of Sasuke's secrets. Then it wouldn't be so hard to be friends with everyone . . . I didn't want to be a mediator, but I did wish that everyone could make up with each other, give everyone a fresh start. It was wishful thinking, yes, but I still believed maybe one day it could happen.

All it would take was apologies, which would lead to more apologies. Eventually there would friendship in the end.

"We don't hate him . . ." Sakura suddenly answered. She didn't finished.

Naruto looked at Sakura and then looked at me. "We just . . ."

Smiling, I nodded. "You just want him back."

Sakura bit her lip when I answered. "Yeah. Basically . . . Natsumi, you're the only person partially on our side that he listens to these days. You _and _Tenten. If it's not too much trouble, can you two please help us out?"

"Yeah, yeah!" Naruto agreed. "He never talks to us! You two could like say what we want to say!"

I laughed as I shook my head—though not in refusal. "Have you ever tried talking to him since he came back?"

Silence stopped all replies, and Naruto and Sakura seemed dumbfounded. "Uh . . ." Naruto answered, muttering a _no_.

I couldn't refuse to help them. I couldn't refuse to do anything for someone that hadn't hurt my feelings in the past. Naruto and Sakura were trustworthy, I could tell, and I needed to prove to them that they could believe me, too. "Next time I see him, I'll tell him you don't hate him. He'll talk to you then probably."

"Yay! Thanks, Natsumi!" Naruto exclaimed and ran off into a classroom on the next. I saw the label on the classroom. It was History taught by Asuma, which was where I was going, too. I was glad to know I wouldn't get lost.

Sakura lingered with me, though she didn't appear as if she was going to the same class as me. "I'm sorry I got mad at you over Sasuke. It's just . . . Well, it's a long story, and not one that would finish before the tardy bell rings."

"It's fine." I met her gaze squarely, keeping all emotion but honesty clear from my face. "But really, I promise I don't like Sasuke that way. I don't even know if I like him much at all really. He's . . ."

"Different," Sakura finished. Her emerald eyes showed trust, and I knew she believed me. "Sasuke's all alone now, Natsumi," she continued, looking away at the classroom Naruto had gone into. "Even his so-called friends he has now aren't really his friends . . ."

I didn't understand, but I knew she was leading up to something important.

"Even if you do tell him that we don't hate him, he probably will still avoid us. Tenten and you are the only girls I've ever seen him talk to so freely."

Freely? He still seemed very closed-up, even after what Sakura had just said.

"It's probably because you two don't love him like the rest of us do . . ." Sakura finished, a sad expression creeping onto her face.

Somehow, just by looking at him, I could tell Sasuke had no interest in Sakura at all—not yet anyway. But telling the truth would only hurt her. "Maybe one day he'll love you," I told her, trying to hold a smile. "If Tenten and I don't love him, then it's pretty obvious he can't end up with us."

She laughed. "Oh, how nice," she commented sarcastically. "Two girls down, millions more to go."

"He doesn't like the other girls either though. You'll probably end up with him in the end," I lied. Well, it wasn't exactly a lie so much as a prediction or a wild guess.

Sakura laughed. "You know, I noticed something back when you asked me for Sasuke's dorm room number."

Remembering the lie I had told her to avoid her suspecting something, I fidgeted with my fingers.

"You really just can't lie," she explained. "Well, you can, but . . . nobody believes you afterwards."

I bit the inside of my lip in surprise. She knew I had been lying even all the way back then?

Sakura began walking away toward a class adjacent to the one Naruto entered. "Well, the bell's gonna ring soon. See you later."

I entered the classroom labeled _History_ and found a seat.

_Two girls down, millions more to go_, Sakura had said.

I had heard it was better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. I understood exactly what the saying meant. One only became stronger from loss. One only grew. Maybe Sakura's love for Sasuke was a good thing, even if it probably would never work out.

My cheeks turned red when I remembered whom I had grown to love in only two days . . . Now I could understand love at first sight as well. But what if Suigetsu didn't love me back?

_Sakura is a lot like me_, I realized.

It was better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

**A/N: Oh, and Feareth the Kitty, I told you that you gave me an idea about something that happened last chapter (thanks!), but I couldn't get it into this chapter. It'll probably be in the next one though!! **

**And to everyone, sorry I haven't been putting previews for the next chapter. I kinda caught up with myself again, and I don't have anything for a preview. I'll try to have one next chapter or the one after!! **

**This chapter says goodbye to most of the Sasuke-centric stuff. :-( Goodbye, Sasuke!! LOl. ****See you all later!! And thanks for any reviews!!**


	8. Compromise

**A/N****: Chapter 8! If I happen to accidentally switch from first person to third person at times, I'm really sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me lately. Thanks for reading or reviewing and enjoy!**

Loved and Lost  
By SpacePirateGirl

_Compromise_

After going through a long class of history taught by Asuma, I returned to my dorm room. Tenten was there already, all of her bags unpacked. She was holding a soccer ball in her grasp while sitting on a bed. Her chocolate eyes glanced up when I entered, and she smiled.

"Hi," she said.

I smiled shyly back. "You play soccer?"

"Have to," she answered. "I tried out and made the cut last spring, so . . ."

Fearing I would give away hints on how I hated soccer, I didn't say anything. My parents used to put me on a soccer team, and I had gotten hit with the ball one too many times to know that I wasn't good enough at soccer to be anything other than a spectator.

Tenten was staring at the wall gloomily. "Back in middle school, it was more fun since they combined the boys and girls team. I hate playing with a team of all girls."

I laughed, once I realized she was only kidding.

"Even the girl's coach sucks," she added, grinning.

"Don't you get sick of it then?" I asked, wondering how anyone could want to waste time playing a sport and be obsessed with winning. Games were only games.

She shook her head. "Nah, I practice on my own with the boys. They don't play soccer until the fall, so they get bored with football."

"With the boys?" I questioned suspiciously.

Tenten stared at me and smirked. "Kiba, Naruto, Neji, Lee . . . against Sasuke, Suigetsu, and me. Sometimes Juugo if he's in the right mood, too. That's how it was last year anyway."

Stupidly I blinked twice. First, I was surprised that those different "sides" played together during their free time when there was a huge rift between them. Second of all, Tenten chose to play with Sasuke's friends . . . And lastly, I had learned that mentioning Suigetsu's name in front of her was a big mistake, and she was mentioning him as if it was nothing.

She laughed at my reaction. "That's why playing sports is so nice. Nobody hates anybody . . . It's just the game. And besides, the four of them against just Sasuke and Suigetsu isn't fair."

"No," I said, "I meant you just . . ."

She understood what I meant, even though I didn't say Suigetsu's name. "We . . . made a compromise."

A compromise?

"He promised he wouldn't do what he did last year—to _anyone_," she added looking pointedly at me. "And I promised I would start talking to him again. I like Kiba now anyway, so . . ." She was blushing a little when she mentioned Kiba. "Hey, Natsumi, I heard Kiba had biology with you," she added.

I nodded slightly, wondering where she could be getting at.

"So did . . . Jiraiya . . . Well, who did Kiba walk in with?"

Oh. So that was what she wanted to know. I bit my lip. "Uh . . . He walked in by himself." My cheeks were turning red, and I hoped she wouldn't ask whom _I_ walked in with. "Neji walked in with Hinata, but they were cousins, so . . . Kiba sat with Hinata instead."

She was staring at the soccer ball in her hands dismally. "Oh. Kiba . . . he kinda went out with Hinata to Prom last year since Naruto asked Sakura instead of her."

I remained silent, not knowing what to say at first. Finally I said, "It's not like he purposefully sat with her. None of us really had a choice . . ." Then I realized my mistake . . . I had reminded her that I also had gone to biology.

Her eyes had grown suspicious, and I hurriedly tried to change the subject. "Um, so if you're all playing soccer, can I come watch?"

"Sure," Tenten responded. "But first, who did you have to sit with in biology?"

"N-no one," I nervously lied.

"Jiraiya wouldn't make anyone sit alone, silly," Tenten countered.

A knock on the door saved me, and for the moment she forgot about the conversation while jumping up from the bed, dribbling the soccer ball like a basket ball.

Suigetsu and Sasuke were standing there, Suigetsu grinning when he saw me. I smiled back, fidgeting with my fingers behind my back.

Sasuke was the first to speak to Tenten. "You're still playing with us, right?"

She nodded. "Right."

"Are you any good, Natsu-chan?" Suigetsu asked curiously.

"No," I said quickly, fearfully. I was horrible at soccer. I couldn't kick the ball much further than a two or three yards, and I was more likely to trip myself than dribble it.

Tenten sighed. "Oh, come on. Even Sakura and Ino play sometimes."

My face turned white instantly, and I felt cold sweat pour down my face. Was it some fear of white and black, checkered balls being kicked around by mad boys? I was positive their was no "phobia" word for that. Tag football I was perfectly fine with because you were only _tagging_. I had seen older soccer players, and I knew it wasn't just a simple use of the feet. Instead of shoving with hands, they shoved with their shoulders.

And some of those kicks where the ball was sent flying out someone could be really deadly.

Suigetsu had grabbed my hand and was pulling me along. "Watch us, at least."

"Okay," I mumbled, blushing at the touch even though it was just our hands.

Tenten shut the door behind me, and I had no escape. Sasuke was walking at the front silently as Tenten hang back with Suigetsu and me. "You could be goalie," Suigetsu was saying. "I promise I won't let the ball hit you on the head or anything."

I shook my head. "That's okay. I'll just watch."

"Well, I call forward," Tenten declared. "I _hate_ goalie."

"Anything but goalie," Sasuke added, directly after Tenten.

Suigetsu frowned angrily. "I was _always_ goalie last year."

"And you still scored a lot of the goals," Tenten countered bitterly. "Just be goalie."

"I don't want to," he complained.

I bit my lip as we all started walking down the four flights of stairs. It must have been a habit, for I was doing biting my lip a lot lately. "Fine, I'll be goalie." It felt mean to let Suigetsu be goalie even though he didn't want to . . .

Sasuke had glanced at me for a moment, but then turned away. I could no longer see his face to know what he was thinking—though Sasuke's face was always basically emotionless . . .

Suigetsu grinned. "Thanks, Natsu-chan," he said. "I'll be defense for you."

Amused, Tenten rolled her eyes. "Uh-huh," she remarked sarcastically. "You'll still be up scoring all the goals. Defense means staying _behind_ the midline."

"Nah, I'll stay back this time," he promised.

* * *

I was staring timidly at the ball, fear freezing my every move. Soccer balls were just scary, I supposed. Suigetsu had promised to "protect me with his life" jokingly, but still I could remember all those times people had said that when I was a child. Sometime or another the ball would end up hitting me in the face.

Goalie was always the position I got stuck in. Nobody else really wanted to be defending the goal like that, and I didn't care either way. Until when I had gotten older, the ball moving faster and harder than it had before. Even the coach of a nine-year-old to eleven-year-old soccer team expected the goalie to block the ball as if their life depended on it. They were obsessed with winning.

After I became too old to be on that team, I never played soccer again, being goalie becoming my major phobia.

Tenten had been right. Suigetsu would never be considered a good defender for a soccer team, for he was always racing up, trying to score goals. Any coach would want him as a forward. Tenten was great at her chosen position at least, working flawlessly with Suigetsu and Sasuke as if there had never been any problem between them.

Even though he was officially forward, Sasuke lingered back like a defender would. I wasn't sure why. He didn't seem the type to just abandon his claimed position and do the opposite of it. He was probably just covering Suigetsu's weakness as defense.

I, on the other hand, remained rooted at the spot, hoping the ball wouldn't smack me in the face as it had so many times before.

I had tried to get out of being goalie for them again, but Tenten had convinced me to stay by saying four against three wasn't fair and that they really needed someone else, even if I wouldn't be that good. After all, they were able to cover more positions with more players. Reluctantly I had finally given in. I was an idiot.

Suddenly the ball came raging toward me as Naruto and Neji passed it to each other around Sasuke and finally toward me. I braced myself before realizing they would try to avoid shooting it where I was ready for. My eyes scanned their footwork, and realized they would be kicking it toward the left of goal—though I wasn't really sure. Every choice I made was a guess.

When it was sent flying directly for my face, I assumed I had guessed right.

My fear of soccer balls froze me, so I couldn't even move my hands to defend myself. But I sighed in relief when Suigetsu jumped in the way of the ball and kicked it to Tenten quickly.

He rolled his eyes at my surprised expression. "I told you I wouldn't let the ball get to you, didn't I?" he teased.

I smiled at him. "Thanks."

From that point on I was no longer afraid of the ball, for Suigetsu blocked it from reaching the goal every time.

The game stretched on, and it was kind of fun to watch them score goals and try to defend the opposing team. Of course, the opposite side scored a few goals, but those were because Suigetsu and I happened to be on the opposite direction that the ball was hit in.

In the end the score was a tie. The opposing team all returned to their dorm rooms to prepare for the next day of school, and Tenten, Suigetsu, and I found ourselves alone, me watching as they passed Tenten's ball back and forth to each other. Sasuke had said he had business to attend to and left shortly after.

"So," Tenten said when we all decided to return to our rooms, "you never told me who you sat with in biology."

"Who Jiraiya _told_ me to sit with, you mean," I corrected nervously.

Suigetsu was also curious, listening in on our conversation. "Yeah," he agreed, "I was going to ask you earlier, too, but I guess I forgot. Who?"

I shook my head. "No one."

Tenten's shoulders rose and fell in a sigh. "I told you, Jiraiya wouldn't make anyone sit alone."

I still remained silent refusing to answer.

"Oh my god," Suigetsu said loudly after a moment's silence. He laughed when I glanced at him in surprise.

"What's so funny?" Tenten demanded curiously.

He patted my shoulder as he answered: "Now that I think about it, it's quite obvious she sat with . . . Sasuke."

Tenten broke down into hysterical laughter before turning to me again. "What did Sasuke say?"

"Uh, not much at all really," I answered, staring at the ground, embarrassed. I didn't really want to bring that up with Suigetsu . . . What if he thought I actually _liked_ Sasuke?

"Good luck," Suigetsu warned. "Sakura's the last girl who had to sit with him last year, and even someone like me who never talks to her could tell, it took her the whole summer to get her sanity back."

Tenten nodded in agreement. "You should have seen her last year! She was insane!"

"Thanks a ton," I said sarcastically.

Tenten giggled. "Seriously, Natsumi, good luck."

"If I were you, I'd skip biology for the rest of the year," Suigetsu added grimly. "Before you know it, you'll be an obsessed girl, too. Just like what happened to Karin when she first met him."

Ever since biology ended, Sasuke had been avoiding me or at the very least not speaking to me—which was not something I had expected him to do. From what they were saying, he hadn't ignored Sakura, or she wouldn't have lost her "sanity."

Still, I couldn't conjure predictions about people I had know for only two days. "Is it really that bad to sit next to him?" I asked, hoping they were joking.

"Yes," Tenten and Suigetsu said at the same time.

Despite the circumstances, I wanted to laugh at them. Just yesterday they had been staying as far away from each other as possible, and now they were agreeing on the tiniest of things. Maybe all last year had been was a misunderstanding—hopefully. It felt strange to have a crush on somebody who had betrayed a friend.

"Just pretend like he's not there," Tenten advised. "Sakura said it helped."

I nodded, though I knew I wouldn't just ignore Sasuke. That would be rude.

Feeling Suigetsu grab my hand, I glanced at him expectantly. "Don't worry," he said. "I'll protect you from Sasuke."

"Thanks," I replied gratefully.

When I noticed Tenten's sad expression, I stopped smiling. It looked as though their little compromise hadn't worked as well as she had claimed. But she caught me looking, and her face brightened up.

"I wonder how much homework we'll get tomorrow," she joked half-heartedly.

"Ten bucks that it will take three hours," Suigetsu declared. "They always like to pile it up on us as soon as they can."

"Two hours," she said, agreeing to his bet. "I do mine fast."

Seeing as how I had math tomorrow, I shook my head. "Four hours for me . . ."

Suigetsu laughed.


	9. Hidden Anger

**A/N****: You know, I always expect these to be much shorter, and I'm practically begging it will be at least over a thousand words . . . But after I get going, I can't stop!! ****:-( Lol. Anyway thank you for reviews! I hope you're all ready for a timeskip because one has arrived (a week has passed)! :-D As for Sasuke, I guess he just doesn't want to go away. LOl, oh well. **

**Enjoy the chapter!**

Loved and Lost  
By SpacePirateGirl

_Hidden Anger_

_Are you mad at me?_ I wrote on a piece of paper and folded it up. Still nervous about the whole note-passing idea, I sent it to him while Jiraiya wasn't looking. Careful not to make it known I was staring at him for a reaction, I watched out of the corner of my eye as he stared at the folded piece of paper for at least a minute.

After what seemed like forever, he finally took the paper in his hands and read it. He glanced at me once as if to be sure I was not looking at him, and I kept my eyes on Jiraiya until his attention had returned to the note. I stared at the as he scribbled something down quickly—which was _definitely_ not like him—and then erased it, only to scribble something else down and cross it out.

I withheld a sigh as I turned back to Jiraiya. What in the world could he be writing? Finally he sent the paper back to me, and unfolding it quickly, I wondered if he really was angry . . . What had taken him so long to decide?

Before I read it, my mind began thinking up apologies, retorts, arguments to what he could have been angry at me about. But when I looked at the paper, my eyes widened in surprise.

_No, I'm not mad._

I blinked at the paper a few times, unprepared for the simplest answer he could give. How could I reply to something like that? Well, luckily erasers weren't as good as a lot of people gave them credit for, so I studied the slurred leftovers of the writing he had tried to erase and tried to see the other message he had crossed out. Since they were on top of each other and since his writing wasn't as legible as usual, it was difficult to read what he had written before.

All I could make out was a "yes," and fragments of a hasty reason why—something about me being an idiot and another thing about Suigetsu. I was pretty sure I knew now why he wasn't talking to me anymore. But Sasuke had crossed that out, hadn't he? I had no reason to argue about something he didn't want to tell me.

But then again . . . I felt like crying because I knew he was lying about not being mad, and I knew since he would never admit it, _I_ would never be able to apologize. The helplessness was overwhelming.

_Okay_, I wrote back sadly, and allowed my head to sink into my arms. Jiraiya didn't seem to care about whether his students slept in class either, so I could pretend I was up all night doing homework—which mostly wasn't a lie at all. I could have loved math and science if I was only the tiniest bit good at it. But those classes took me hours to understand.

"All right," Jiraiya exclaimed, "I have graded all of your assignments from last class, so while we watch this movie, I'll pass them out."

A movie today? That would probably take my mind of things. Naruto, who was closest to the light switch, turned the lights off, and Jiraiya turned on the small television in the corner of the room.

It had been a week or so, and I still wasn't one of those crazy girls obsessed over Sasuke yet. But then again, how could I be obsessed with him if he believed I had vanished off the face of the earth and if he made his ignorance clearly obvious? Couldn't he at least tell me what I had done wrong, so I could apologize? Or did he enjoy this note-passing idea I decided to try out every other day? Okay, maybe I was getting a little obsessed over his ignorance, but who couldn't when somebody thought someone had grown angry over two ten-minute conversations? Because I had really only talked to him twice, and both hadn't lasted very long.

He hadn't seemed mad at me back then . . .

Jiraiya handed me back my assignment, and I made sure my eyes were nowhere close to seeing the grade. I was horrible at science. Suddenly I saw Sasuke staring at my paper curiously. Glaring half-heartedly at him, I flipped it upside-down so he couldn't continue to scrutinize my answers, but not before I cringed at the site of it—five out of ten? Fifty percent on a simple homework assignment? And Sasuke had seen, too!

Just not a good day. This time, I really did think I was about to cry, so I raised my hand, putting up two fingers to signal I needed to use the bathroom. After a moment, Jiraiya had given me permission, and I took my assignment with me so Sasuke wouldn't be able to look at it further. Not that he would—he was too polite, so polite that he wouldn't even tell someone if he was really, really, insanely angry. I scolded myself quickly for such bitter thoughts.

As I made my trip down the hallway, wiping away my own tears, I thought about the past week. On day one and day two, Sasuke had been perfectly fine with me. The next two days he had avoided me, and after that, he had outright ignored me even when I tried to get his attention. What had I done on the second day that made him so mad? It wasn't Jiraiya's seating chart, for he had been fine with that. What had it been?

So much for my promise to Sakura and Naruto . . . Maybe I could get Tenten to talk to Sasuke for them instead. Now that I knew what a Sasuke _really_ closed-up could be like, I understood what Sakura meant when he was more open to me—or _had_ been.

Finally feeling in control of myself again, I returned to class and sat down in my seat. The note had found its way to my side of the table, and hesitantly I unfolded it. I had no more excuses to leave the classroom to cry anymore, so this time, I needed to remain calm.

_Do you need help with biology homework?_

Apparently I had braced myself for the wrong message . . . I didn't feel upset at all anymore. In fact, I was very surprised how anger had hit me strongly with what he had written. Couldn't he just stay in his own business? He didn't have a problem butting in to anyone _else's_ life. What was so special about _my_ business?

_No. _I scratched the word so that it looked as firm as it possibly could before I continued. _If I did, I would ask the __teacher__._ Hopefully he would understand what I meant—that curiosity killed the cat. Not that I could really yell at him if he pressed on though. Yelling didn't solve anything in most cases. Though with Sasuke . . . I wasn't so sure anymore.

The note was returned to me in almost an instant. _Fine_, Sasuke had said. _But he'll only tell you to ask the person you sit with. Which is me._

I scribbled something down on the paper, not recalling any moment when I had been so sloppy with my handwriting. _I said __if_ _I need help. I don't. Just leave me alone please._

When he returned the note, I hesitated to read it, but found my curiosity peaking with each minute I didn't. Finally I couldn't stop myself from unfolding it. _First of all_, he had put, _if you wanted me to leave you alone, then you wouldn't have sent me this note in the first place. And second of all, it's quite obvious you need help with science._

My eyes stung as I read his words. Why was he being so mean? Was it just because he thought I was an idiot? _If I wanted your help, I would ask. Surely you're not the only person in the entire world who can help me with my own homework. Besides, if you're the one not letting me apologize for whatever I did, then I don't want to talk to you anymore._ I gave him the note, knowing my replies were steadily getting more rude and promising myself that if he sent it back to me that I wouldn't write a reply, though I couldn't really promise myself I wouldn't read what he said . . .

I watched as he frowned at the note for a long second before he shrugged slightly to himself. He wrote a reply in an instant, and when he sent it back, I looked at it eagerly, only to see it say "fine" firmly and conclusively.

That was it? Relieved, I felt a sigh leave my lips. I couldn't stand arguing with someone, for it hurt so much. But luckily my goal had been achieved—Sasuke wouldn't talk to me anymore. I could ignore him, just as Suigetsu and Tenten had warned me to do.

The movie was over, and I bit my lip, realizing it hadn't been relaxing to watch at all. I hadn't even listened to a word it had been saying, too involved in my own thoughts.

Jiraiya told Naruto to turn on the lights, and he drew everyone's attention. "Now that it's been a week, everyone should be settled in with everything," he began. "So now we can do a bigger project, right?"

The class groaned with the exception of me, only wanting to get out of class.

"Good!" Jiraiya said as if everyone had agreed. "The first project, I have written on the board, and you will do it with the partner at your table."

This time, I did groan with the rest of the class. I had to work with Sasuke? I scanned what the board said quickly—writing notes for the entire Unit 1, due in two classes. Apparently we could split up the work however we wanted as long as it got done. I glanced at Sasuke curiously, and bit my lip when I saw him frowning at the board, also irritated.

He really _did_ hate me.

The bell would ring in about a minute, so I gathered up all my things, ready to race out of the room the moment we were excused. I had to get away from him—before he could see I was about to cry. I couldn't help thinking he would laugh at me if he saw how close to the edge I was. But that would be wishful thinking. He never even smiled, let alone laughed. His complete blankness was what had upset me the most.

The bell rang.

I ran out of the classroom as fast as I could, the tears beginning to fall as I went. For a moment I had forgotten that Suigetsu would be waiting for me outside the classroom as he had the last week, once he had guessed I had to sit with Sasuke. Seeing him waiting for me, I struggled to fake a smile, though Suigetsu hadn't missed the tears at all.

"What happened?" he asked immediately when he saw me.

I shrugged half-heartedly. "Nothing."

"It's Sasuke, isn't it?"

I didn't answer. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Sasuke approaching the door, though I couldn't tell whether he was looking at me or not. No. He would see me crying, and then he wouldn't leave me alone anymore.

I felt Suigetsu's arm swing around my shoulder as his eyes flashed with anger. "Sasuke, what did you say to her?"

His onyx eyes landed on me first, but then turned resentfully to Suigetsu. "Jiraiya gave us one of those partner assignments," he stated coldly. "I didn't say anything."

"Oh," Suigetsu responded, understanding instantly. He didn't seem angry anymore, so I sighed in relief. He continued in a joking voice; "What about it made her cry? Too much work?"

It bothered me a little that they were talking about me as if I wasn't listening, but I ignored it.

"She's right here," Sasuke said as if he read my mind. "Why don't you ask _her_?" He paused, and I felt his eyes on me again. "At any rate, I'm going to be late if I stand around talking about nothing, so see you later." Then he was gone.

I hadn't noticed Sakura and Naruto standing on the sidelines until Sasuke had left. "Natsumi, are you okay?" Naruto exclaimed immediately.

"Yeah, what happened?" Sakura asked.

They both were ignoring Suigetsu beside me, but at least, they were no longer glaring. Huge changes had occurred over the last week . . . Tenten was officially on one "side," but she still hang out with Suigetsu when I did, and some of the rest of the Sophomores had begun to give in. Although they refused to talk to Sasuke's side, at least they only chose to ignore instead of glare. Maybe it was just because of the new school year. Lots could change over a summer break. Still I wouldn't know because I had only been at Konoha High for this one week.

"Um . . ." I said after I realized I hadn't answered Naruto's or Sakura's questions. "Just . . . nothing."

"No, seriously what happened?" This time, Suigetsu was the one asking.

I shrugged. "I don't want to talk about it. It's just a class assignment."

Sakura's emerald eyes glanced down the hall at Sasuke, and she seemed to realize _exactly_ what had happened. Had the same thing happened to her last year? Probably, though since she had a crush on him, it had probably hurt her more. "Don't worry," she said, smiling cheerfully. "Sasuke _hates_ all that partner crap. He'll probably do it on his own."

Wiping tears away with the back of my hand, I nodded a thanks at her. Suigetsu's class was in the opposite direction, so I walked with Sakura and Naruto when he left.

"So I went to the Ichiraku Noodle Shop yesterday, and it was _amazing_!" Naruto began as we all walked to class. "They just got this new recipe, and I can't get enough of it! It's so, so, so good—"

"That's all you ever talk about," Sakura complained.

"So?"

"_So_ it's annoying," she said, though her voice signaled that she was only teasing him.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto whined.

I laughed at the truth of what Sakura had said. Ramen was all Naruto _ever_ talked about, it seemed.

"Me, Ino, and Hinata were gonna go shopping tonight. Wanna come?" Sakura asked me.

I hated shopping with a passion, but I had a feeling Tenten was going to play soccer with Sasuke and Suigetsu. Anything to get away from the Uchiha. "Uh, sure."

"Okay, cool."

"Shopping is all _you_ ever talk about, Sakura-chan," mumbled Naruto.

She shrugged. "Better than ramen."

"Only if you're a girl," he replied.

Sakura laughed before she went to her own class, leaving Naruto and I to go to Asuma's History class.

Right as we were about to enter, Naruto put a hand on my shoulder. His deep, blue eyes suddenly grew serious from his whining and laughing before. I sensed a huge comprehension inside of him, despite his usual humor and carelessness. "Don't let Sasuke get to you. He's like that to everyone."

I smiled. "Thanks."

* * *

"I heard you're going shopping," Tenten said after class. "But I also heard from Hinata a few days ago that you hated shopping."

I bit the inside of my lip so she wouldn't see. "I don't know . . . I need new clothes."

She took a moment to examine me up and down and shook her head, the bangs she always left down from her two buns flowing with her movements. "You just have a crush on Suigetsu, so you're embarrassed to see him," she guessed.

"Not really," I answered, half-smiling. I would do anything to see him. His jokes made me happy, for once.

"Then what?"

"Just need new clothes."

"You're one of those people who can't lie if their life depended on it."

I shrugged and sat down on my bed in the dorm room as soon as we entered. My hand reached for my diary that I had left under my pillow. It was reassuring to have it there when I slept, always ready if I needed to say something in the middle of the night.

"It's Sasuke, isn't it?" Tenten said after the silence grew awkward.

I shrugged again, and opened it to a fresh page.

"What did he say?"

"He's just being mean," I answered. "Or maybe I'm just sensitive."

Tenten walked forward and stole the diary from my hands. "Sakura told me last year that it helped to talk about it?"

I sighed. She wouldn't leave me alone until I answered, and she knew I knew that. "Here," I said, handing her the note that I had settled to put in my pocket after crumpling it up into a ball.

Still holding my diary, she took the note and straightened it out again. It took longer than a regular person would take to read it once, so I was sure she had read it several times over. "You're not sensitive," she whispered after a moment. "He _is_ a jerk."

"Can I have my diary back now?" I asked.

Reluctantly she returned the diary, but she kept the note in her hands.

"The note, too?" It was wishful thinking. She was too obsessed with what was written on it. But I knew only she could understand because she didn't _love_ Sasuke, and she could relate to my situation.

"Nah," she answered finally, "I think I'll keep it for now."

I bit back a sigh.

"So you're going shopping to get away from seeing Sasuke when he comes to bring me to soccer?"

I shrugged for the third time.

"Jeez, you could have said something. You don't have to go _shopping_ of all things, just because you don't want to mess up anyone's schedule."

"That's not the only reason," I responded. "Jiraiya gave us one of those 'projects' . . ." It seemed that everybody understood without words what it meant. "Even if he didn't come to get you for soccer, he might come to do the dumb assignment."

She blinked at me stupidly. "Jiraiya what?"

I didn't answer because I knew she had already heard me.

"So you think Sasuke will come make you do the project with him?" she asked after a moment.

"Maybe." I would even go as far as to shop to get away from the chance of seeing him.

"Oh," Tenten said thoughtfully. "_Oh._" She had glanced down at the note again, and seemed to finally understand everything that had happened. "I told you sitting with Sasuke was the worst luck you could get."

"No, it's different." This wasn't the same as what happened last year with Sakura, even I could tell. He was clearly acting as if I didn't exist, not as if I were obsessed with him. And his face was always different around his fan-girls whereas he _knew _I was not one of his lovers. He really was angry with me for some reason. "He's mad," I elaborated. "It's my fault."

Tenten frowned. "What did you do?"

I didn't answer. She had heard the conversation I had had with him on the first day about Suigetsu. She also knew what that note had really meant if she had read the part crossed out.

"Oh, I get it," Tenten finally said. "So you think that it's _your_ fault that _he's_ mad at you for making _your _own choices about _your_ life."

"Basically," I answered.

She rolled her eyes. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! Of course it's not your fault, Natsumi! Sasuke's just a plain-old jerk. It can't get anymore complicated than that."

"It _can_," I argued half-heartedly. I wanted to believe her.

A knock on the door interrupted our argument, and warily Tenten answered it. I desperately hoped Sasuke wasn't there. It hurt to even think about him. Fortunately Sasuke was _not_ there, and it was only Suigetsu. I sighed gratefully.

Suigetsu spoke to Tenten, "You look nice today."

She smiled. "Thanks. Where's Sasuke?"

"Probably hiding in his room," he said sarcastically.

Tenten began laughing. "I see."

So maybe their compromise had worked out after all—after the week that had passed, they had finally gotten use to each other again. I felt a lump rise in my throat, but I ignored it. I could handle it if Suigetsu didn't like me as much as I liked him; I could settle to being his friend only. But why was he acting so nice toward Tenten? She was only his friend, too . . . wasn't she?

"Sasuke's already on the field," Suigetsu answered, finally being serious. "He didn't want to come here." He finally turned to me, and I tried to put on a smile for the second time this day. This time though, it actually worked. "Are you coming, Natsu-chan?" he asked.

I remorsefully shook my head.

"She's going shopping," Tenten explained as she rolled her eyes.

Surprise crept over his face, and Suigetsu stared at me curiously. "Shopping?"

"Yeah," I answered. "Sorry."

He shrugged. "Maybe next time? You know I hate being goalie . . ."

"Maybe," I said honestly. I hated soccer almost as much as I hated shopping.

They left after that, and I turned again to my diary. I didn't really feel like writing anything in it anymore, so I closed it and waited for Sakura to call me or something. Though Sasuke had not come with Suigetsu to get Tenten, I still had already agreed to go shopping, even though it was boring. I brought money with me but not much. I didn't want to become bankrupt after all, and knowing Ino . . . Bankruptcy from shopping could definitely find its way into the agenda for the evening.

For the moment I placed thoughts on Sasuke in the back of my mind.

* * *

**A/N: My goodness! I just realized it's getting angsty. :O Oh well!! Reviews are helpful if you have time!! ;D Thanks!**

**Preview for the next chapter:**

"You should talk to Naruto more often," I suggested cautiously. "He'll see you more and—" I struggled not to gasp at the first time I had ever heard Hinata interrupt someone.

"He likes Sakura," Hinata said. "I want him to be happy."

I looked at her sympathetically as I related her thoughts to my own situation. Maybe Suigetsu was only playing around when he flirted with Tenten in front of me. Maybe he was trying to get me a little jealous, so I would pounce on the opportunity to show him I loved him. But I couldn't intervene in what he wanted. It sounded too cold-hearted. If I really did love him, I wanted him to have whatever _he_ wanted.


	10. No Regrets

**A/N: Hehehehehe, enjoy!! I'm getting writer's block... it's so bad... It's weird; I've never felt such a drop of confidence before. Hopefully it will be over soon. :) But for now, I'll just update what I have for now. No preview for the next chapter this time because I'm going to need a LOT of revision on that, so I'm not sure what I'll keep in or what I'll keep out. Thanks for the reviews!!  
**

Loved and Lost  
By SpacePirateGirl

_No Regrets_

"Sorry, shopping trip's off," said Sakura's voice on the other line of my cell phone. "It's raining like crazy outside."

I glanced at the window and almost rejoiced at seeing the raindrops hurl against the transparent glass. Clouds hovered in the sky, and the air was one of those thick fogs that would appear during a thunderstorm. The rain didn't help my mood, but at least I wouldn't have to go shopping.

"That's okay, Sakura," I said, trying to keep the silent cheering in my head and out of my voice.

She sighed on the other end. "Are all the boys playing soccer again?"

I nodded before realizing she couldn't see me. "Yeah."

"Weird. How can they like playing in the rain?"

I laughed a little, glad to hear my own voice free of stress. "Yeah, it's weird." Our conversation was full of gaps, full of tiny spots of silence. That kind of silence was uncomfortable, only happening when the two talking didn't know each other that well. Besides, I never enjoyed talking on the telephone. It was so exhausting afterwards.

"So," began Sakura, and another silence was left while she thought of what to say. "How's Sasuke?"

She didn't know he was playing the "silent treatment" on me. Or whatever he was doing . . . I couldn't get rid of the feeling that he wasn't exactly angry but that the anger was a side-effect of some other emotion, an emotion that he would never willingly declare he had out loud. "Um . . . I don't know."

"You don't talk to him anymore?" Sakura asked.

"Not exactly," I said. It was unfair to burden other people with my problems. I could solve this on my own—not that I really wanted to solve anything with Sasuke. He always made me feel upset or as if I was annoying.

"Come on, Natsumi. What's wrong?" she questioned. "It's how you make friends . . . ? Letting them in on secrets?"

I sighed. "Okay, okay. He won't talk to _me_ anymore. He ignores me like I don't exist."

"Oh." Sakura didn't say anymore. Another long gap of silence lasted while she took in the information. "Welcome to Sasuke's _normal_ behavior," she teased finally. "You are no longer a mutant girl until he actually _talks_ to you."

I laughed, but still heard the meaning in her words. That was just how Sasuke was? Strange how so many girls could like such a rude person. Maybe it wasn't the same though; maybe I was different because I didn't like him as most of the girls did. He wasn't really annoyed by me—more like he _hated_ the sight of me. Would Sakura understand that?

"It's not the same though," I started nervously. "It's like he _hates_ me for ruining his life or something, and he's only annoyed by other girls."

"Oh!" Sakura exclaimed, just like one would do in math class when a tough concept was finally understood. "I get it. Natsumi . . . you're lucky."

So now I was lucky that he hated me? Though this was making no sense whatsoever, I had a feeling that if _anyone _understood Sasuke's motives from all aspects, it would be Sakura. She lived to figure out what made Sasuke happy. "I _don't_ get it," I replied finally.

She giggled on the other line. "And I'm not explaining," she told me mockingly. "I'll let Sasuke tell you . . . if he ever gets around to it. Wow."

I could hear the tint of anger slightly creeping into her tone, but I didn't understand it. I would give anything to have Sasuke just be annoyed by me, instead of hopelessly hating me. Why would she be jealous of living a life where she felt like crying at the simple sight of the Uchiha? Why would anyone want that?

"Natsumi, I take what I said before back," Sakura said, the jealousy hidden with amusement. "You're still a mutant girl."

Hardly feeling the urge to laugh, I simply smiled. "I still don't get it," I reminded her.

"You will someday. Anyway I better go do homework now, so bye!" I heard a click, and knew she was gone. Ending the conversation on my own cell phone, I reached for my backpack and pulled out the endless load of homework. I remembered the second day of school when Tenten, Suigetsu, and I all made bets on how long the homework would take. Ironically both of them had been right. Tenten had taken two hours, Suigetsu had taken three, and I must have really been out of practice when I took five hours. Math was definitely not my subject.

Neither was biology really, but Jiraiya was an easy teacher. He was more obsessed with lectures and his precious seating chart than actual homework. He had only asked us to do a simple worksheet since the school year had began. Until today . . . I cringed at the thought of how Jiraiya would be assigning those partner projects for the rest of the year.

I took my thoughts off science for the moment, and thought more about this math homework I was trying to finish. Maybe Hinata was good at math. She seemed to be good at every class actually. I gathered my notebook, my math book, and my pencil and left the dorm room, walking quickly by the hall.

Unfortunately I must have chosen a minute too soon or a minute too late, for Sasuke, Tenten, and Suigetsu were returning from the soccer match across the hall. I kept my eyes off Sasuke completely. If he was going to ignore me, then I might as well ignore him. Though the thought sounded mean, I knew it was probably the only way I would figure out why he hated me so much. At least, I would try it. And if it didn't work, I would be forever sorry.

"Hi, Tenten. Hi, Suigetsu," I greeted cheerfully although the pretense of happiness was only on the surface. I felt upset on the inside—and not just because of Sasuke but because of Suigetsu, too. Did he still harbor old feelings for Tenten? Even though she was my friend, I couldn't help but feel a prick of jealousy whenever I thought of her. How close exactly were they to each other last year? How did it feel to have had what I wanted so desperately?

"Hi, Natsu-chan," Suigetsu responded as Tenten also smiled and nodded a greeting at me.

"So how did the soccer game go?" I asked curiously, pretending as if Sasuke was _not_ standing there beside them when I felt his eyes on me.

"We cut it short," Suigetsu said.

Tenten frowned. "No, the _other_ team did," she said. "I was just fine playing in the rain."

"Funny," Suigetsu commented smugly. "The only girl is the only one who likes rain. I think you're the only one who wanted to keep playing, Tenten."

Tenten rolled her eyes. "Just wait till spring when you _have_ to play in the rain."

"Whoever said I _didn't_ like rain."

I bit my lip. It was tearing me apart to watch them talk to each other like that. Strange, I mused, how a week ago I had thought their compromise was on the edge of falling apart. Now their compromise was stronger than ever. Last year had never happened in their eyes.

"What're you doing anyway, Natsumi? Were you coming to be goalie?" Suigetsu teased.

I smiled, glad the attention was back on me, but then I withheld a cringe. Was I really that selfish to want the spotlight on me at all times? "I'm never being goalie again," I answered, shivering at the thought. "I'm just . . ." I paused when Sasuke no longer was nonexistent in my mind. I had heard the Uchiha was good at math, too, and knowing he had almost forced me to ask for his help in science, I knew he probably wouldn't waste time to bug me about math as well. If he found out, that was . . .

"I'm just going to do my homework with Hinata," I finished finally, hoping that Sasuke wouldn't derive what I was _really_ doing.

Suigetsu smirked as he eyed my math book. "See you in a few centuries," he commented sarcastically.

I almost wanted to look at Sasuke to see if he had figured it out, but I was sure anyone with a toddler's brain would know now that I sucked at math. I kept my eyes on Suigetsu though, and refused to even spare a glance at Sasuke until he told me what in the world I had done to make him hate me. "I'm not _that_ bad," I retorted, smiling cheerfully at him.

"I should go do my homework, too," Tenten said suddenly.

Suigetsu glanced at her. "Bet you it will take no more than an hour."

"Yeah, all I have to do is go slow to make you wrong," she teased as she began to walk away. Suigetsu also began leaving to his own dorm room after he said a goodbye to me.

"Bye," I said as they left, making it clear that I was only talking to Suigetsu and Tenten. Why would someone, who believed I wasn't even there, there expect me to say goodbye to him anyway? Suddenly I couldn't help but to look at Sasuke for the first time since the encounter in the hallway. He wasn't leaving. He was staring icily at me.

I was being so rude, acting exactly how Tenten and Suigetsu had told me to act—ignoring him completely. It felt so wrong. It hurt. "See you, Sasuke," I said, making my voice polite but not friendly. The fact that he was making my heart hurt wouldn't leave my mind.

He didn't answer, and simply glared resentfully at me. I realized it had to do with _my_ silent treatment that I had only recently began. But I didn't care. I had spoken to him, so it didn't matter anymore. I didn't have to pretend he was anything more than an acquaintance. Sasuke was far from being my friend, but I knew he probably wouldn't care whether he was or not anyway.

I turned away and began to leave, staring at the floor under me as I began to walk.

"I can help you with your math homework," he offered, and the sudden noise caused me to freeze up. I couldn't move forward any longer.

Except to glance back at him. My eyes felt cold and upset, but I kept smiling, trying to be simply polite and well mannered. Of course, I didn't really know what to say. I could refuse his help, but I knew that wasn't the real issue here. He had only said that to get me to pay attention. So I kept silent, waiting for him to finish what he started.

"Get over Suigetsu," he told me slowly, "and I'll talk to you again. He's only here to hurt you."

I almost winced at his words when they hit so close to home. After all, didn't it hurt to see him sometimes flirt with Tenten? Didn't it hurt to imagine he didn't like me? But that was just what love was—being hurt and living through it. If only I had the courage to tell Suigetsu that I loved him. But that wasn't what Sasuke meant—he was implying that Suigetsu was a liar, and that was not true. It couldn't be true. I couldn't help but be angry at his attempts to break my dreams apart. Sasuke always made me angry whereas I was almost _never_ angry.

"Get over me liking him," I warned, "and _I'll _talk to _you_."

He opened his mouth to say something and then shut it again. I was sure I imagined his eyes showing hurt for a split-second. "You don't get it."

"You're right," I said politely, even though I felt tears begin to surface. I pushed them back down. "I don't get a lot of things, including why the past week, you've been acting like I'm nothing, like I'm some ghost or something. I actually _exist_, you know. I have feelings?"

Sasuke shook his head as if to ward off my words. "You pretend like you don't have feelings."

"Well, I do!" I cried out, feeling strange to be yelling when his comments were perfectly calm. "Right now, I'm _feeling_ really angry. I might even hate you, you know."

He frowned in disbelief. "You don't hate anyone," he challenged.

"There's a first time for everything," I shot back. "Nobody's ever made me feel so upset before." He dropped his gaze he had on me as soon as I finished my statement. But I continued before he could speak. "I _like_ Suigetsu," I whispered in case my crush was somewhere nearby. "You can't change that by ignoring me. I _still_ like Suigetsu, and the only thing you've succeeded in doing is making me hate you. It's my choice. I've heard everything you've had to say, and I've heard everything Suigetsu has had to say, too. I decided he changed, that's all. Don't you get it? Please just stay out of my business. Please."

His back turned to face me, and I watched as he slowly took steps away toward his own dorm room. He said nothing as he left, and I wondered if he would finally leave me alone. No, I didn't hate him, and the words I had just told him had been ripped from my throat. I could never hate anyone, even though I wanted to hate Sasuke so bad. It only hurt because of how he had saved me when I was dumb enough to leave McDonalds alone when it was dark so many nights ago. Otherwise, I wouldn't have necessarily wanted him as a friend.

And now he hated me for supposedly being stupid and choosing to like someone who would only hurt me in the end in _his_ eyes. That was, at least, what I had figured out. But why would he be angry over me liking someone? I couldn't help but wonder if it was because he thought I would be seriously hurt, or if it was just me liking someone that made him angry. Did he think I didn't deserve to love?

I didn't get it. But Sakura seemed to, and so I knew I would figure it out—eventually.

* * *

Hinata was perfect at math! And science, too. She promised to make sure I didn't start getting fifty-percents on my homework in those two classes anymore. And if I started getting better grades, Sasuke wouldn't have a chance to bug me anymore. I smiled truthfully for the first time in what seemed like a while.

"Thanks so much, Hinata!" I told her as I wrote the answer to my last math problem.

"You're welcome," she said shyly, making sure I got the right answer.

I was finally understanding math concepts, and I was surprised to learn that I actually enjoyed math. Maybe that was why most students hated the subject; they just didn't ever understand it. "You should become a teacher when you grow up," I praised gratefully.

She shook her head. "Too shy," she explained. "I'd . . . probably get too nervous to explain it well."

"Who knows," I said, my thoughts off somewhere else. "Back at my other school, my most enthusiastic teacher said she used to be shy . . ."

Hinata shrugged. "Maybe."

While I was here, I had learned that Sakura was hardly ever in this dorm room. She was always with Ino or Naruto. She only came back to Hinata when it was time to go to bed. I felt so sorry for the Hyuga, and I promised to come more often. Though she wasn't the type to talk on the phone a lot or be with other people a lot, I had the direct impression that she was lonely.

Since the conversation was eerily quiet, I thought of something to say. "So how's Naruto?" I asked her, remembering how she had a crush on him.

"Oh. Uh, he's . . . good. I think . . . I just don't really talk t-to him that much," she whispered nervously.

Naruto . . . It was obvious that he had a crush on Sakura. Besides, since Hinata was so shy all the time, it was only natural Naruto would hardly notice her. "You should talk to him more often," I suggested cautiously. "He'll see you and—" I struggled not to gasp at the first time I had ever heard Hinata interrupt someone.

"He likes Sakura," she said. "I want him to be happy."

I looked at her sympathetically as I related her thoughts to my own situation. Maybe Suigetsu was only playing around when he flirted with Tenten in front of me. Maybe he was trying to get me a little jealous, so I would pounce on the opportunity to show him I loved him. But I couldn't intervene in what he wanted. It sounded too cold-hearted. If I really did love him, I wanted him to have whatever _he_ wanted.

Hinata seemed to notice that I understood completely. "You know . . ." her soft voice began. "F-for only being here a week, you seem to be . . . really woven in."

I smiled, but said nothing, not knowing what to say.

"You like Suigetsu, don't you?" she said suddenly.

My smile dropped. Did everybody but him know? Did _he_ know, too? "A little," I admitted. _A lot_, I corrected myself mentally.

Hinata smiled. "Good luck," she said.

"Thanks." I wished Konoha High wasn't so filled with drama. It was getting a little crazy as I ran over what had happened the past week. Especially with Sasuke—couldn't he just get over my choices? "Hey, Hinata, you don't like Sasuke like the rest of his fan-girls, do you?" I asked curiously. Maybe she could help me figure my mess out.

She shook her head easily. She loved Naruto over anyone else.

"Then you might know. Why does Sasuke hate me?" I asked. She was one of the few I had confided to over the problems I was having with him. Maybe I could have figured it out on my own if I actually understood what hate was. I never remembered hating anyone, even Sasuke. What would bring someone to such a level of anger?

Hinata's lightly shaded lavender eyes stared at the wall in front of us. "E-everybody has different ways of showing what they feel," she said. "Sasuke . . . I don't think he hates you . . . It's probably just . . . his way of saying something to you that he would never admit with words."

I nodded, though I didn't really understand what could make him act as he was. After a few more minutes of talking, we parted ways, and I went back to the elevator. Waiting the time it took to rise four floors, I soon returned to my dorm room to see Tenten reading a book on her bed. She didn't glance up as I walked in, but she did begin to speak.

"Sasuke stopped by," she informed me. "He wanted to talk to you."

I bit back a sigh. "If he asks again, tell him I said, 'no.'"

Amused, her brown eyes glanced up from the book. "He won't be asking again. He left a note for you." She gestured with her head at the pillow on my bed.

Warily I approached it and found a piece of paper left upon the pillow. I took it and unfolded it, curiosity taking the better of me. I gasped as I read the first words, and ignored Tenten's question on what it said. I continued to read the note quickly. His handwriting was no longer sloppy as it had started to look like when he was ignoring me. No, this was the perfectly legible handwriting as it had been on the first day of biology.

_**You're right. I'm sorry. It's none of my business whether or not you like Suigetsu, and it's definitely not fair for me to hate you over it. Besides, it would only make you more upset when Suigetsu does start shunning you.**_

I frowned, but ignored the anger that was beginning to arise. Sasuke was entitled to his own opinion on Suigetsu, and I knew very well I couldn't change that. Finally I read the rest of the note.

_**Again, I'm sorry. Please forgive me, preferably **__**before**__** that homework in science is due.**_

"So?" Tenten asked, her eyes still on the book she was reading. "Is Sasuke still to be considered a jerk?"

I smiled, thanking whatever twist of fate had decided to make him apologize. "Nah," I replied, "he's just a little strange."

And finally my quest to see if Suigetsu really loved me was about to unfold—without any regrets.


	11. Torn Again

**A/N: Important note on my profile that you should read. :-) It's at the top. It explains stuff about my life that's important to how fast I respond to emails and update stories and such.**

Loved and Lost  
By SpacePirateGirl

_Torn Again_

I smiled as Suigetsu walked me back to my dorm room. I hadn't really talked to him for a while since after my first class with Kurenai, I had forbidden any note-passing with him until somebody convinced me otherwise—what he had been trying to do for the past week, but I still stood strongly, defiantly. I was sure, though, that one more little push and I wouldn't be able to refuse to note-pass with him. It sounded so . . . impulsive and wild when Kurenai was around, but I would learn a few tricks. Surely there was _somebody_ who was an expert at note passing at this school, _somebody_ who hadn't been caught by Kurenai yet.

"It's dangerous," I argued. "Risky, dumb, impulsive—"

"You're so stiff, Natsumi," Suigetsu complained. "Loosen up a little. It's not really life-threatening to get sent to the office every once in a while."

I laughed hysterically at him. "Of course not! But Kurenai is different. She lives for note-passers. She reads the note aloud to everybody, and _then_ she sends us to the office! It's insane!"

"It's not like we'll put anything confidential in there," he argued. "Trust me. I just want to talk."

My shoulders rose and fell as I let out a huge breath of air. That was the last push. I was over the edge. "Okay, okay," I gave in finally. Coming up with reasons against passing notes around Suigetsu was like trying to defeat a mirror. It was impossible. But still . . . "_One_ embarrassing note you send me, and I won't do it anymore."

He laughed. "Oh, right, I forgot. You like to play it safe."

Smiling, I shook my head at him, amused. "You know what happened last time."

"Tenten is _way_ over that," Suigetsu said. He laughed again. "You're just paranoid that this time someone like Neji will get offended."

I playfully rolled my eyes. "Yeah, as if I'll be talking about Neji with you."

"Who knows? Talk to a girl, and the conversation always ends up on Neji." Suigetsu entered the elevator after me, and we waited to go to the top floor. "See? Somehow it ended up on Neji now, too."

I rolled my eyes again. My cheeks were feeling a little warmer than usual, and I really hoped I wasn't blushing. "Yeah, because _you_ brought him up first." I wasn't blushing because of Neji but because of how Suigetsu was teasing me. It felt so natural—the thought of arguing but not really arguing. And with Suigetsu, that method was easy to accomplish. But if Suigetsu saw me blushing . . . would he think I liked Neji? Maybe I was exactly what he said—paranoid.

"Natsu-chan, I should tell you something," he said seriously.

My smile fell, and my blush vanished. "What?"

"You see, Sasuke . . . He asked me to tell you something." His tone was almost sympathetic.

I visibly flinched and forgot the elevator door had opened. Suigetsu literally had to drag me out before it shut. I felt cold. Was Sasuke no longer apologetic? Did he hate me again? Were we no longer on "speaking" terms?

Suigetsu patted me on the head in order to regain my attention. "Would you like to know what he told me to tell you?"

I debated the question. I didn't want to start crying all the time like I had yesterday when Sasuke wouldn't tell me why he was mad, but I was a little curious as to what had gone wrong this time. I hadn't even _talked _to him yet, for Pete's sake. Finally I made the decision. I would find out soon anyway, and it was better to find out from someone other than Sasuke. "Yeah?"

"He said . . ." Suigetsu paused, and suddenly he grinned. "Since he never bugs anyone, he wanted _me _to bug you instead. You know, about that science homework you both were assigned."

I sighed and frowned at the ground. So Suigetsu had been teasing me after all. "You didn't have to draw it out so long," I commented, though I couldn't keep a slight smile out of my voice. I felt relieved enough to laugh. Only a joke, only a joke.

"Nah, I wasn't really teasing for no reason," he admitted, his grin transforming into a smirk. "I just wanted to see if you were still up-for-grabs, or if you were crushing on him yet. Don't worry that you are. Happens to every girl." A smirk grew on his face, and he began walking off before I could even react.

Suddenly I was blushing again like mad, and realized he was leaving before I could respond. "Suigetsu!" I shouted, yards away from where he stood.

He turned back to look at me. "Yeah?" he yelled back.

My blush deepened when I saw him looking at me and remembered he had said he was wondering whether I was still "up-for-grabs" or not. From my reaction, he had probably derived that I _was_ crushing on somebody else, and that was not a good thing. "I am _not_ crushing on Sasuke!" I shouted loudly, so he could hear me.

His hand cupped around his ear, and he said, "Sorry! Can't hear you!"

I sighed dramatically before raising my voice another level. "I am _not_ crushing on Sasuke!"

"Sorry! I still can't hear you!"

"I'M NOT CRUSHING ON SASUKE!" I screamed at him while thinking he better have heard that one, or I was going to forget he ever existed—though for me, using that tactic had never lasted more than an hour really.

This time, he must have heard me, for he began to crack up hysterically, bending over from the extreme laughter. I could hear him laughing as hard as I had ever heard him laugh, even from where I was standing. Confused, I frowned at him, waiting for an explanation on what was so funny. When he began to leave me, still laughing hysterically, I shrugged to myself and began to walk toward my own dorm room.

Was getting me to scream something about Sasuke at the top of my lungs funny in any way? Maybe a little, but there was no way Suigetsu would laugh that hard over it . . .

Suddenly I heard a door shut behind me, and as blood rushed to my face in embarrassment, I turned to see who it was. Finally the reason about the tremendous amount of humor involved made a little sense. Screaming at the top of my lungs about not liking Sasuke might have not been funny in and of itself, but I could see where it could have been if I screamed it in _front_ of someone, especially one of Sasuke's fan-girls.

I felt the urge to disappear forever when I saw which dorm room the person who had unknowingly been walking behind me all this time had gone into. No, this couldn't be true. It couldn't be happening! Suigetsu wouldn't do this to me, would he? After I pondered the possibility for a moment, I realized he would do it to anyone if he got a chance. And I was probably the easiest target since people always said I was insanely gullible. Besides, he had only been playing around . . .

"This is not funny," I muttered to myself while staring at the number label to the dorm room in front of me. I swallowed. This couldn't be the right room . . . But the door was still slightly open when none of the others nearby were—which probably meant this was the one that had just been opened, and shut a moment ago. This dorm room was surely the one I had heard open. I cringed.

Debating whether I should explain myself or just run, I couldn't move for a second. Until a familiar voice began to speak from my side. "Natsumi, what's wrong?" It was Tenten.

I didn't move.

"What happened?"

Blushing again, I shook my head. Why was I born with such a gullible brain? I felt so dumb . . . But I would be crazy if I explained this to her, right here, right in front of this dorm room. As far as I knew, these walls were anything but sound proof. "Not here," I suggested, gluing a fake smile to my face.

Tenten shrugged. "Okay."

I led her down the hallway toward our own dorm room, and before we entered, she asked me again me what was wrong. Still feeling uneasy about the range of eavesdropping, I shook my head and entered the dorm room first.

"So?" she asked. "It's probably not a bad thing since normally you would be close to crying. So tell me!" She smiled cheerfully. "Did something good happen? What was it?"

I shook my head. It wasn't exactly a bad thing. I could live through it. But it _was_ embarrassing. I felt as if I could hide in a dark corner forever, or at least until no one remembered me. "Uh, well. Suigetsu was just teasing me." Perfectly normal. In fact, I always felt like laughing when he teased me. _That_ could have been a good thing. But this time . . . No, it wasn't funny.

"And?" Tenten urged curiously. "What then? Did he ask you out?"

I sighed and flopped down onto my bed. "I wish." She was the only one to whom I would admit that I liked Suigetsu. I trusted her not to tell anyone.

"So what happened?" she asked.

"He pretended like Sasuke was mad at me this time, and . . . then he told me he was just testing me—to see if I had fallen in love with Sasuke yet since he believes all girls do eventually. The good thing is that he wanted to know if I was still up-for-grabs. But now that I think about it, he was probably just setting everything up for . . . something else."

"You can never know for sure, Natsumi. He's always secretive like that. Sometimes he's joking, and sometimes he's telling the truth. Sometimes it's a mix of both."

I shrugged.

"Anyway," Tenten said, still curious as to what had happened, "what was that 'something else?'"

This was going to be the hard part, and the most embarrassing. "He got me to scream that I wasn't crushing on Sasuke at the top of my lungs . . ."

Tenten laughed. "Wow, really?" She noticed the slightly irritated look on my face. "Come on, that's not _too_ bad. What happened next? Did you find out you said it in front of one of his fan-girls?"

"Not really," I admitted nervously. She was getting close to the right answer. That was what I had thought from the beginning, wasn't it?

"Come on! Tell me!"

"It was right in front of Sasuke."

There was a pause of silence as she took in the information, and then she began to laugh almost as much as Suigetsu had. She shook her head in disbelief. "Really?"

I nodded. My cheeks turned a bright red again. "Sasuke didn't even _say_ anything though! I didn't even know he was there until he shut the door to his room!"

She kept laughing as if she hadn't heard me.

"It's not fair," I muttered. "What am I going to say to him now? I wonder if he heard the whole conversation, or just the last part . . . Probably just the last part since Suigetsu made me say it three times in a row—as if he was just _waiting_ for Sasuke to come."

Tenten finally suppressed her wild giggles. "That _sucks_," she told me honestly. "Really, Suigetsu must be more coldhearted than we all thought! How could he do this to you?" Her voice was mocking and sarcastic. She obviously didn't believe the situation was that bad. What she didn't understand was that I hadn't spoken to Sasuke since he had sent me that note. Wasn't our truce a little close to the edge at the moment?

Tired of being embarrassed, I shrugged; "Don't you have to go play soccer or something?"

"Not today," Tenten said gloomily. "Too much homework for everybody. Suigetsu takes forever on it, and Sasuke just doesn't want to play today."

Science was tomorrow. I bit my lip. "Hey, doesn't Sasuke like working alone on any "partner" stuff?"

Her bronze eyes examined me fully. "Why?"

"Jiraiya's assignment. Suigetsu said Sasuke wanted me to come finish it with him." I left out the part about how I didn't want to go do a biology assignment with him only because the memories of him offering to help me with biology were still on the surface. Even though he had apologized, I didn't really feel that I could trust him with anything anymore.

Confused, Tenten frowned at me. "No way," she said, disbelief in her eyes.

"What?" Was it so weird that Sasuke wanted to repay me for being a jerk? It sounded very reasonable to me. It actually sounded very polite, even though I hated the idea of being in the same room as him at the moment. "Well? Is it weird or not? Sakura said he liked to work alone."

"Nah, I won't tell you," she answered smugly. "I was friends with Sasuke once. I don't tell just anyone his secrets."

I stared dismally at the ground. "I'm not 'just anyone.'" Everybody seemed to know what was happening, but they wouldn't tell me. The whole world appeared to be on Sasuke's side, and I was cast out from that agreement since this "secret" implied me. Choosing to forget about whatever the secret was for now, I grabbed my biology book and my notebook. Then I prepared to leave.

"You'll need a pen," Tenten recommended and tossed me one.

I caught it. "Why? Sasuke will probably have one."

"Yeah, but you won't want to touch them when you go over there."

I blinked stupidly. "Why?"

"Last year, I noticed something. He has a habit of biting pens when he's nervous. It's the only giveaway to what he's thinking."

I almost laughed. Biting pens? "Okay." It was only when I left the dorm room when I wondered why in the world somebody like Uchiha Sasuke would be nervous, even if I had screamed at the top of my lungs that I wasn't crushing him. That was _embarrassing_ probably, not nerve-wracking . . .

Preparing myself for any embarrassing entrance I might make when I knocked on his door, I found myself ready for anything. Or so I hoped.

The door wasn't answered; Sasuke just told me to come in. It was still partially open open, how I had last seen it. I walked in as a smile plastered itself to my face. "Uh," I started, but then shut my mouth when I saw onyx eyes lock on me instantly. Why was it that I always stuttered when he was around? Was it because he always seemed to be glaring?

Still watching me curiously, Sasuke was sitting on his bed as he stopped writing something in a notebook. When I took a glance at it, he snapped it shut, even though I was too far away to read it anyway. Instead, I brought my eyes to the floor. "Suigetsu told me you wanted me to come," I said nervously. For a moment I wished I hadn't waited to talk to him until being forced to come. The tension strained all my thoughts of what to say. Strange, I mused, that I would spend a whole week wanting to be his friend, and then when I finally had a chance, I couldn't speak.

He had hurt any chance at friendship really though. It wasn't my fault, though quite seriously I wished it was. Maybe then I could fix it. I couldn't trust Sasuke to fix anything anymore, even though I wanted to more than anything.

Sasuke finally spoke, his voice an angry tone. "It's quite obvious you didn't want to come," he told me icily. "I can do the homework myself anyway. Why did you even bother?"

He had _wanted _me here! "What the hell am I doing that makes you so mad?" I yelled. My hand flew over my mouth when I realized I had cursed. Bad words were so wrong. All they did was spread more hatred and more bad words. It felt strained to use them. Suddenly my hand reached in my pocket and held the only thing that gave me any reassurance for the past few days. It helped me rid myself of any rude thoughts toward Sasuke.

His expression softened a little as his eyes met mine. "Nothing."

"Please . . . tell me," I whispered. Truly I wanted to know. One minute he apologized, and the next he got angry, once again. Why?

"It's too confusing," he said as his voice returned to the same level of vehemence. "You wouldn't understand if you can't even get a good grade on a simple science worksheet."

Really mature . . . "Fine," I said.

"Then what are you still doing here?"

My hand clutched the piece of paper in my pocket more tightly. "To tell you that we'll no longer be sitting together in science. I'm asking Jiraiya to change my seat."

"He won't do that," Sasuke countered. "That's the last thing he'll do."

"I'll tell him you're interfering with my study habits."

"He won't care."

Somehow I kept my voice calm while speaking harsh words. "That makes _two_ people I know who don't care." He didn't answer. "If I have to, I'll ask Suigetsu to help me convince Jiraiya," I continued. "Maybe if he sees me with another boy, he'll listen."

"I'll tell Suigetsu not to help you."

I turned my back on him, ready to walk out. I could think of no other plan that would work. Then I flipped back around and tried my best to glare at him, even though only sadness could show. "Are you_ trying_ to make my life miserable?"

He said nothing for a moment as he avoided my gaze. "No."

Yeah, right . . . I bit back a retort. Arguing with a contradictory remark like that was useless. "I'll ask him to change my seat tomorrow. So I guess you won't be seeing me much for a very long time," I told him while carefully giving my voice a neutral sound. "Goodbye, Sasuke-san." With that I turned to leave, deciding to ignore whatever he would come up with next.

"You don't know _anything_," he whispered coldly.

I shivered, unable to go any farther. I couldn't move my legs.

"How can you love someone who betrayed Tenten, your friend?" he demanded.

I had grown sick and tired of people reminding me how Suigetsu had _used to _be a jerk last year. "How can you _hate_ me for that?"

"You don't know anything," he repeated.

I sighed and shook my head. There was nothing left to say. I felt the paper in my pocket begin to crumple as my hand grasped it tightly. I _hated_ that paper. Hated. So often, I was feeling hatred at all these ideas, all these words, all these memories. Besides, that paper was my only link to Sasuke as a friend. Maybe if I rid myself of it, the past would finally leave me alone.

Angrily, I tore my hand out of my pocket and straightened out the piece of paper. I saw fragments of it as I glanced quickly at it. When I was done saying my final goodbye, I allowed it to fall to the ground on his floor. I would leave the past with the one it belonged to. The note's words still lingered in my mind . . .

Sasuke eyed the fallen paper disdainfully. "Real mature, Natsumi," he commented. "I'm not going to pick up your trash."

Still staring at the note, I didn't answer. He didn't know what it was, and I wanted him to look at it.

At last, he stood up and grew closer to the piece of paper. A frown formed on his face when he saw. "You hold on to garbage like that for so long? It says hardly anything."

No, it said so much more than that. It said everything. Back when I was new, back when he didn't care whether I liked Suigetsu or not. Back when he had probably saved my life. We could have been friends. But the moment my fingers let go of that paper was the moment I realized the truth. I couldn't let him hurt me anymore. I stared one last time at the note.

_It's okay. He does this every year. Last year it happened to be Sakura . . ._

_Thanks, Sasuke._

_He doesn't care about notes, so don't worry._

_Okay. Thanks about last night, too._

_You're welcome._

So much had changed. People said that if someone got to know a person too closely, eventually the two would cease to ever become friends. Maybe once he found out my love for Suigetsu was constant, he couldn't stand the sight of me anymore. I hardly cared why.

Well, I might as well go the entire way if I wanted to discard the past. I reached into the same pocket and found the other notes I didn't want anymore. As I straightened them out, I soon allowed them to fall to the floor as well. A heavy burden lifted itself from my shoulders as the notes' words poured through my head. A fight, and then an apology—both would be forgotten as I saw the papers lay on Sasuke's floor.

"Any more trash you got for me?" he demanded coldly as he bent over and dumped all three of the notes in the tiny trash bin.

No. The past was gone.

I left his dorm room and took a few steps to convince him I was gone. When I heard the noise of someone sitting down on a chair, I tiptoed back and looked through the crack of the door. From my point of view, all I could see was his head resting in his hands as he stared at the wall in front of him. But when the hand I couldn't see too well placed a pen on his desk, I realized he had been doing exactly what Tenten had said he would be doing.

When I walked by the next morning, curiosity led me to check again. The notes were almost perfectly straightened out and placed neatly on the corner of his desk. I smiled slightly. It felt better to know that they weren't disposed of forever.

* * *

"Wow, you _do_ need help with math," said Suigetsu, stunned as he glanced through my notebook, seeing all the horrible math homework hidden within. "It's a wonder you're not failing."

"Hinata," I said with pride. "She helps me tons. I _would _be failing without her."

Suigetsu soon reached the science section of my notebook as well. "Holy Hell, Natsu-chan . . . Holy Hell."

"Give me that," I teased and took the notebook from his hands. Snapping it shut before he could see any more of my homework flaws, I grinned at him. "It's not like _everyone_ is acing math."

"Sasuke is acing all of his classes."

"Sasuke has nothing else to do," I countered, still smiling. The name Sasuke no longer affected me anymore. It was as if some purifying light had swept in and erased all of my anger. It felt good to be nice again. It felt good to be happy. After all, I disliked being upset and angry. It only brought my mood too far down

Suigetsu seemed irritated that Sasuke's name didn't bother me anymore. He needed some sort of leverage to control me, I had noticed. It was quite comforting for some reason, to feel as though I were protected somehow. I felt safe.

At least, the thing with choosing "sides" had stopped. Everybody I knew sat at one table, which made things less tense. Less glares, less insults, less fighting. At first, Suigetsu, Tenten, and I had all sat together at one table. Sakura and Naruto had soon followed after Hinata came to join us. Every so often, Karin would come over—though it wasn't very often since she usually sat with Sasuke—and Juugo had followed her lead. Soon the only "sides" one could see were the on opposite ends of the table, Tenten and I holding the borderline. Today was one of those days when Karin and Juugo had come to sit with us.

She and Suigetsu had their little squabbles, and I did my best to ignore them. Since I was back to normal, I had regained my disorientated state when people around me argued—especially with a little stronger words than I was used to.

Suddenly I realized Sasuke was all alone, and although I didn't want him as a friend anymore, I felt some sympathy that everybody he knew had abandoned him. I could only imagine how he felt. The urge to sit with him was strong and enticing, but I resisted the temptation. He didn't matter anymore, I reminded myself quickly.

Ino had been right. Homecoming would be coming soon. It was already late in September, and if memory served me correctly, Homecoming would arrive during winter—close to Christmas. Over the few weeks that brought us closer to the dance, Tenten seemed to get nervous frequently, and Kiba's name was a forbidden topic when she was around. I knew she wanted to go with him so badly, and I hoped the best for her.

And if I even hoped a little for her, I could never fathom how much I hoped for myself. Glancing at Suigetsu for a moment, I clasped my hands together in my lap so that I wouldn't fidget. I had to be patient. Truthfully I was only competing with two girls. One of which had a crush on Sasuke—Karin—or as far as I knew, and the other didn't even like Suigetsu while he might not have ever liked her—Tenten. So really, I had a good chance. But then there was always the possibility that he wouldn't ask _anyone_ out, and that was probably what scared me the most.

I sighed.

"He_llo_," called somebody. "Is anybody in there?"

I blinked twice before seeing my surroundings again. Amused, Suigetsu was staring at me and trying to get my attention. But then I realized that _I_ was the one who had been staring at _him_. "Oh, sorry," I said nervously. "I just . . . was thinking."

He smirked. "Yep. I totally believe you," he remarked sarcastically.

Giggling, I shook my head. "No seriously."

He didn't pay attention to those words. "Hey, Natsu-chan, Homecoming's coming up really soon."

Butterflies rushed to my stomach. "I know. Maybe someone will ask me out." I didn't want to hint that I liked him. What if he only liked me as a friend? I would break us apart!

"You're pretty enough. I'm sure someone will." He smirked cleverly and put a hand on my shoulder.

I struggled not to blush as my smile faded. I wanted to get on my knees and beg. I wanted to plead with him. _Ask me out, ask me out_, my mind muttered repeatedly.

The bell rang. He stood up with his tray in his hands. "See you later." Then he was gone.

* * *

"So? I heard him say homecoming! And that you were pretty!" Tenten exclaimed as she barged into the room.

I ignored the fact that she had eavesdropped on our conversation, still fumbling under my bed for my diary. I hadn't written in it for a while, and I felt lost and so happy at the same time. So confusing . . . My diary always helped with that. "Uh, what about it?"

"Jee, you're slow. I'm wondering if he asked you out!"

No, I had already known what she meant. I just didn't want to tell her. "Don't tell anyone." Sasuke would have more ways to hurt me if he found out. "Suigetsu didn't ask me out."

She sighed. "Oh."

"Sorry to disappoint." I grinned at her. "He called me _pretty_ though," I continued, fascination overwhelming my mind. How could I be pretty to him? "Not just, 'I'm sure someone will ask you out,' but _pretty_."

Returning the smile, Tenten began pulling homework out of her backpack. "Cool."

"What about Kiba?" I asked after I had finished with my diary.

She gave a small frown and then turned away. "I don't know . . . I wish I had biology with him. Maybe _I_ could have sat with him instead, and then he wouldn't be so close to Hinata."

It was the first time she had spoken what was on her mind in a long while. Everything had been so closed up, so hidden. And now that I knew what she was thinking, I only felt more terrible for her. Kiba sat with Hinata in biology—and they were friendly to each other. "Maybe it's not what you think . . . Maybe he's just her friend, someone to support her, you know? She is kinda shy . . ."

"You only make things worse when you try to lie."

I sighed. "Well, what do you want me to say?"

"I don't know."

If only things could be perfect . . .

"Natsumi . . ." Tenten began warily. "Do you, by any chance . . . _love_ Suigetsu?" She wasn't staring at me, she was scrutinizing the clean carpet, hands clasped behind her back.

I knew then that it wasn't a matter of dates, boyfriends, and all that fan girly stuff, I had grown accustomed to over the years. The questions were always "do you have a _crush _on him?" or "does he _date_ you?" No . . . This was a matter of _love_, not silly childhood crushes. Tenten was being serious. I had crossed the borderline.

I wasn't sure how to answer, but I had the strangest feeling that, if I said I _did_ love Suigetsu, it would hurt her feelings—badly. "No. I'm not in love with him," I answered quickly, quietly.

Tenten knew I was lying, but it was the thought that counted, right? "I have some advice for you then," she told me nicely.

I nodded. Even if I couldn't follow it, I would hear it.

"Remember, I'm only saying this as a friend: don't get attached. Whatever they might say, they're traitors all the way through." A hint of reproach clouded her voice. "Each and every one of them. You'll only end up getting hurt—whether it's Suigetsu or . . . whoever else you might like."

I sighed. "The experience is all that matters. I don't care if he ends up hurting me in the end, I just want . . . to know what love feels like."

Tenten shook her head. "That's what everyone, who has never _truly_ loved, says . . . You'll find out when he betrays you, even when you come so close."

The millionth time those words had been said. What was the point to say them again? And then I realized she wouldn't keep repeating the same phrase over and over. No, not when she knew I had heard it so many times. So I wondered in confusion—were we still talking about Suigetsu?

Or . . .

Did she think I would end up with somebody else? That my fate for loving Suigetsu had already been decided, that it would fail?

Whatever she meant, I couldn't give up. Not when I had come so far, so close.

_You'll find out when he betrays you, even when you come so close._

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed, and sorry it sucked. The next chapter something'll happen. This was just setting it up for that. No preview, sorry.  
**


	12. The Anonymous Note

**A/N: Okay, truthfully, I've been worried about posting this… Because my writing has changed like… Idk, it's ten times different (or at least it feels different). And since I only had parts of this next chapter written, I had to fill in the rest with my newer style. I'm not sure how well it's all going to fit, so . . . Seriously sorry if it's not as good as it used to be. I'm also not sure how to fix it since it's not like I have a time-machine at the ready. :P Hope you enjoy anyway. And thanks everyone for the reviews.**

**Oh, oh! And, I did NOT edit this chapter. I didn't even read it over once after I finished. I just wanted to get it over with (I seriously did not like this chapter). So grammatical help and confusion help would honestly be... helpful. :P Thanks!  
**

Loved and Lost  
By SpacePirateGirl

_The Anonymous Note_

Tenten enjoyed going to school early. I never did understand why. Getting up in the morning was really never my thing. At first it wasn't so bad because it was a sort of school anxiety thing. _I have to be on time! I can't be late! _But now that that it had worn off . . .

At least the fifteen minutes before school was nice to socialize. I now could name everyone of Sasuke's friends and everyone of Naruto's friends without having to think about it. With Tenten's help—apparently I was a bit slow when it came to "love" issues—I knew who liked whom and who hated whom.

And now I knew Kiba.

One _early _morning while Tenten was grabbing stuff from her locker, Kiba and I sat around in the cafeteria waiting for the bell to ring. It was about a week after the whole Sasuke-dilemna (we hadn't spoken to each other since), and everything was pretty much smooth and easy. It didn't even bug me to hear Sasuke's name.

Kiba, of course, didn't look much carefree though, and I had a feeling I knew exactly why. "Hey, Kiba, when _is _Homecoming?" I asked.

"Early December," he said. His grin faded. His usual cheeriness was gone. "According to Ino, all the good people run out around October or November."

"I see," I said and looked down. Would Suigetsu be taken up by then, too? It wasn't a girls' choice event, so if he didn't ask _me_, then . . . I wouldn't be able to go. But this wasn't the problem I wanted to deal with. "Kiba," I began, "do you know who you're going to ask?"

He didn't look at me. "Remember when we went to McDonalds? I said I wanted to tell you something, but I changed my mind?"

I struggled to remember.

"It was a long time ago." This time he actually glanced at me.

Then the memory came back. He'd been on the verge of telling me something important to him, but drew back as if he didn't trust me. It was understandable since that had been the first day we met—I wondered why he even dared to tell me back then at all. "Yeah, I remember."

"I didn't tell you because I didn't know what type of person you were," he said. Then his voice dropped by volume, and I struggled to listen. "Now I know you would pry into other people's business, but once you found something out, you'd keep it to yourself, right?"

I frowned, though not at him. To think I was getting nosy. But what he said was true. "If you told me a secret, I wouldn't tell anyone," I confirmed.

"Good. Tenten likes me, right?"

I didn't answer. That, too, was a secret.

He didn't wait for one. "Well, here's the thing. I do like her, but . . . Hinata's one of my best friends, and I can't let her stay home from Homecoming if Naruto asks Sakura out again."

I leaned back in the seat and thought about his situation. "Either way someone is going to get hurt," I said, trying to keep the sour tone out of my voice, even though I wasn't really bitter at anyone in particular. If Tenten didn't go to Homecoming, and I _did _with Suigetsu, then I'd never forgive myself.

But if I somehow convinced Kiba to forget Hinata and just bring Tenten to Homecoming, then I'd still blame myself for what might happen to Hinata.

In short, it was just an impossible situation that I didn't want to put myself in.

"What do you think I should do, Natsumi?" he asked.

I closed my eyes and kept my voice clear of emotion. "I don't know. I really wish there was a solution to this, but I'm not seeing it." When I finally looked at him, he looked away. "Have you talked to Naruto about Hinata?"

"No, I think she should talk to him."

I sighed—because I didn't know what to do. "Why are you asking me?"

He shrugged and grinned, finally back to his normal self. "You seem to be aware of everyone's problems, so I thought you might know how to fix them."

Laughing slightly, I shook my head. "Solving problems is the last thing you want me for. My mom always says I end up trying to please everyone, then please no one in the end."

His teeth appeared underneath his smirk. "Well, I can't ask someone like Sakura or Ino. You're one of the only ones who's not full of yourself."

I blushed. "Uh, well . . . Have you asked Hinata about this?"

"Nah, she's _too _selfless."

"Tenten?"

This time, he didn't answer. He stared as if the possibility had never been open to him before.

"Talk to her about it. Maybe if you tell her _why _it's hard to ask her out to Homecoming, then she won't be as upset."

Kiba looked away.

"You're nervous, right?" I smiled, and he nodded. "Don't worry," I continued. "I like someone, and I'm nervous, too . . ."

The bell rang.

We went to class.

* * *

Sasuke didn't choose me for his team anymore in P.E. I didn't mind. I was finally able to realize that maybe I had never wanted to like him in the first place. Maybe we were never meant to be friends, and I was okay with that.

Lately though, Suigetsu had begun to break off. When Gai called for team captains, four hands shot up—Lee, Naruto, Sasuke, _and _Suigetsu. When I asked him why, he told me it was for the sole reason of choosing Tenten and me since Sasuke's team kept losing without us.

Somehow I had a feeling that there was more to it than what he had said. Because there were times when Sasuke and Suigetsu would get into this horrible glaring contest—I was sure it had nothing to do with me—and they wouldn't stop.

It made me remember the whole "Hebi" thing. Tenten knew, Sasuke knew, Sasuke's friends knew. Nobody else, as far as I could tell, did. I knew the obvious anger between Sasuke and Suigetsu had something to do with that secret.

In fourth period, I decided to ask him about it. Kurenai's class—I was getting sneakier with note passing, thanks to Suigetsu's boasted "skills."

_Hey, is Sasuke mad at you?_

I handed it behind me, and under his desk, while he, almost already knowing it was coming, grabbed it instantly. Soon the note was back in my hand with a quick response.

_Is Sasuke mad at __you__?_

I frowned at the message, but answered it nonetheless. _Yes, he is. Is he mad at you?_

Again, the note was returned almost instantly. And once again, it made me a bit irritated. _Are __you__ mad at him? _it said.

_Yes, I'm mad at him. Will you answer my question please?_

That time, when he got the note, Suigetsu snorted, catching the attention of the teacher. She glanced at us, clearly expecting that we were passing notes—because she did catch us quite frequently. But luckily I was getting better. I had everything she had written on the board on my paper, so it was easy to pretend.

"Suigetsu, do you find something funny?"

"Yep," he said shamelessly.

"Would you care to share it with the rest of us?" asked Kurenai.

"Sure. I was thinking you and Asuma-sensei looked funny today. Did you two have fun last night?"

With the exception of me, the class chuckled in amusement. Shocked, and maybe a bit outraged, I glanced at him with wide-eyes. Was he _asking _to be destroyed? Was he _trying _to be funny at the expense at his own funeral? Sure, in front of anyone _but _Kurenai, but saying it right to her face, he might as well have been digging his own grave.

A look at his face convinced me otherwise. He wasn't being ignorant. He _wanted _detention—_in-class _detention to get away from me, to get away from answering my question. I tried to cover up the hurt expression forming on my face.

"All right, for the whole week, you have detention for this class, plus an hour after school three times this week."

Reflexively I sprang to my feet. "Um, Kurenai-sensei, he's just joking. The thing is we were passing notes, and—"

She glared, almost forcing me to flinch. "Again?"

"Yes, sensei, and he was actually laughing at my response."

"Very well, you may share some of his detention. We'll talk further about this after class." Thus, Kurenai continued with her lesson, and I sat back down.

I tried to convince myself the reason I did this was purely chivalrous. It was unfair for Suigetsu to take all the blame when _I _had been the one passing the note. But when that excuse didn't work, I told myself it was because I didn't want him in detention yet—I wanted an answer to my question. Was Sasuke mad at Suigetsu?

That excuse seemed to work better. But somewhere deep down, I knew there was a real reason. But I didn't want to admit it because I still felt hurt that he believed detention was paradise compared to answering one little question of mine.

I didn't want love to be the reason.

The note came back a few minutes later—I had almost forgotten about it, despite making it a flimsy excuse for accepting detention. When I opened it though, I was relieved.

_Yeah right, you're not mad at Sasuke, you just wanna be. Oh, and you didn't have to take half the detention for me. I didn't want to answer on the note because she would read it out loud. But yes, he is mad at me, and it's not your fault. Don't pass it back, okay?_

I nodded at him to tell him I understood. And I felt happy again—not hurt. However, when my eyes flew across the classroom to resume taking notes, my eyes met Sasuke's for a moment. Though I extremely wanted to look away, I couldn't—it felt as though he had captured my gaze, forced me to look at him and _continue _looking at him.

And I couldn't muster the strength to look away.

There was a warning there, a warning that seemed to say everything. It was different than the other ones—not some naïve warning with which he had no proof to back up. No, this one seemed real.

_He's toying with you_, it said.

The hurt was gone, but the happiness vanished, as well. That was right—if it had just been the problem of the note being read out loud, then why couldn't Suigetsu have told me from the beginning? Maybe he hadn't been planning to tell me at all until he realized that it would hurt my feelings.

Sasuke seemed to notice a lot more things than I gave him credit for. He didn't know what the note said. All he knew was that I looked sad at one moment and happy at the next. From that, he knew Suigetsu was toying with me. Amazing.

Still, so far, the fact that Suigetsu was toying with me was just an opinion.

So I forced my eyes to look away.

Sasuke let go of my gaze.

After class, Suigetsu and I went to talk to Kurenai-sensei, and she was furious. Apparently our last note had laid the last straw on the camel's back. "You two are the most distracting students I've ever had!" she exclaimed. "You pass notes, even after you're caught, and one of you always covers for the other."

Ashamed, I stared at the ground. That is, until Suigetsu spoke next— "You're right, Kurenai-sensei, Natsu-chan here completely covered for me. She was lying about the note, there was no note. Don't make her go to detention."

I threw a warning glance at him. "Now _he's _covering for _me_, Kurenai-sensei. I'm the one who passed the note first, and when he insulted you he was saying that so I wouldn't get in trouble."

"Natsumi, you seriously can't lie," he told me.

This time, I really wanted to glare. "That's right. So _obviously _you should know now that I'm _not _lying!"

We stared at each other for the longest time until I backed down (as I always seemed to do), blushing slightly, and mumbling an apology.

"Okay, well, both of you will have detention tomorrow night, and if I catch one more note, you'll regret it. Hear me?"

We both nodded. "Yes, Kurenai-sensei," I said.

After she dismissed us, we left. My cheeks heated in embarrassment, so I looked at the floor, hoping he didn't notice. Soon I realized we were heading to the dorm room building.

"Wow, you got pretty worked up back there, Natsu-chan," he said cheerfully and threw an arm over my shoulder. I looked up at him surprised. "Guess Sasuke's been rubbing off on you, hmm?"

I smiled at him. The burning sensation once again flew to my face. "I hope not," I said. Which reminded me— "Hey, Suigetsu, after detention tomorrow, you wanna stop by at Jiraiya's classroom to help me with something?"

"Sure, what is it?"

"I want to change seats, but . . ."

"Oh, gotcha."

I looked at him hopefully. "So?"

"Sure, no prob."

"Thanks so much." I looked at the ground again while allowing him to pull me along. "Why is Sasuke mad at you? You said it had nothing to do with me." There was a silence, and for some reason, I felt if I glanced at him, then he would never answer. So I kept my gaze at my feet gloomily.

Finally he spoke. "Well, it sorta has to do with you, but not really. So far, he's winning the argument though, so . . . I can't tell you anything yet."

I nodded. I had to stop being nosy—as Kiba had pointed out. "Maybe you'll win tomorrow?"

He chuckled. "Maybe." Then he changed the subject, and joked the rest of the way. Nothing about Homecoming.

* * *

_Suigetsu likes ramen (though not as much as Naruto). Tell him you're going to Ichiraku . . . He might come, and it could turn into a date._

_P.S. I did not read a word of your diary._

I had found the note while I was about to go to bed—and it had fallen out of my diary. I frowned at it with new curiosity. Since it was anonymous, I had no idea whom the note was from, and I didn't know everyone's handwriting in the school. The writing was neat, though, so I could go with what I knew. Hinata and Sakura both had perfect handwriting, but neither of them would know what Suigetsu was like. I decided to take my thoughts a different way—who knew the most about Suigetsu? And Naruto?

Tenten.

But she had sloppy handwriting . . .

I examined the note once again, and found the handwriting was more of a strained neatness, as if somebody had taken forever trying to perfect it. Yes, it could be Tenten. But when I took notice of the part where the person said he or she didn't read a word of my diary, I realized if Tenten got the chance, she would read _every_ word in my diary. Besides, if she had advice for me, wouldn't she just come out in the open and tell me, instead of sending me a suspicious note?

That gave me the question of who had a reason to hide from me. And who had a reason to even _help_ me?

Maybe Suigetsu had been the one . . . He didn't want to ask me on a date, but he wanted to somehow go with me on one? I blushed. No, it couldn't have been him either. He would have read my diary right on the spot, instead of leaving a note in it—but he wouldn't have hesitated to lie and tell me he didn't read it.

"Whatcha looking at?" asked Tenten's voice. The sound of a door shutting caught my attention, and I snapped the diary, along with the note, shut.

"N-Nothing," I admitted, smiling.

She looked at me, unconvinced, and shrugged. "Love letter?"

"Uh, not exactly?"

Tenten sat down on her bed and stared. "So you were with Suigetsu a lot today. And Kiba? I have an endless amount of questions for you, Natsumi."

I sighed—but still smiled. "Can it wait a few seconds? I'm writing in my diary."

Half-heartedly, she nodded. "Okay, just a few seconds." Then she turned away and started doing her homework.

I turned back to the note.

Who knew where my diary was? Who had easy access to this room, besides me? Tenten again. And only Tenten. But I was positive she hadn't written this note. Whoever had written it, must have had Tenten on his or her side. Which truthfully could be anyone.

I sighed and flipped the note around. Well, did it really matter who the person was? They were helping me with my life, and so I might as well take the advice while I had the chance. I grabbed my pen and wrote on the back of it as neatly as possible.

_Thank you. I'll try that. While you're at it, do you know how to avoid arguments with Sasuke? I really want to be his friend . . . _

Where had that come from? I thought I finally accepted that we _weren't _meant to be friends.

Rolling my eyes at myself, I slipped the note into the same page on my diary. I put the diary in the same place I always put it. Under my pillow. Would this mystery person come back to see if I had replied? I hoped so.

"So," Tenten said, sensing that I was done. She snapped her math book shut. "Let's start with Kiba. What'd he say?"

Sighing dramatically—and sarcastically, of course—I turned to face her. This was going to be a long night.

**A/N: So. How'd it turn out? If I switched to present tense at some point, please tell me where. I want to hit myself if I did. (Jeez, whenever I write in present, it's impossible not to slip up and go to past. So when I finally get to write in past tense, I slip up all the time and write in PRESENT. What the crap?!? :'( Yeah, anyway…) Also, this last little part might have been awkward. I couldn't figure out how to fix it without my special time-machine. Sorry 'bout that. Nonetheless, hope you enjoyed, and have a very nice Monday. Ugh~ :P Cya. :)**


	13. The Transfer Student

**A/N: OMG, so I haven't posted in about five centuries, but OMG, I have about three chapters at the ready! :D Just for you. (lol kinda... these chapters were already addicting to write :P :D) I almost have a fourth, too. The only thing I'm missing is this tough Bio class scene that's semi-important. It'll push the three chapters to four, and then, I can post at least once per 1-2 weeks. Yipee! I'm kinda surprised I have four chapters ready to go, but I guess, when you gotta write, you gotta write. Right? Right. :P So enjoy this chapter. It's setting you up for a craazy conflict that'll diverge from romance for a tiny bit (though there's still plenty of romance and drama to spare while setting up, so no worries). **

**Enjoy, and again, just for you, preview at the bottom. Thank you readers! :D**

Loved and Lost  
By SpacePirateGirl

_The Transfer Student_

"That's it? That's all you're going to tell me? Seriously?" Tenten said after my one-sentenced explanation of my day.

I nodded.

"No! You're going to start from beginning and all the way to the end!" She scrambled on her bed and got to her knees as her finger pointed accusations at me. "Come on, tell me what happened."

Letting out a sigh, I shook my head at her. "Nothing, I already said that Suigetsu just promised to help me change seats in Biology. That's it."

Silence followed. "No comment then?" she asked rhetorically. "Natsumi, there's a deeper meaning here . . . I thought you said Sasuke wouldn't _let _Suigetsu do that. Just to piss you off. What about that?"

"Maybe he's given up?" I shrugged. Then I remembered something important. "Oh yeah, Tenten? Did Sasuke tell you why he's mad?"

"Mad at you? Thought you knew . . ."

"I meant why he's mad at Suigetsu."

Her face hardened, but she cocked her head to the side in confusion. "Not a word. Why? Did Suigetsu mention something about it?"

"I asked him. He wouldn't tell me."

"There you go again. I knew your conversation wasn't as simple as just a promise to help you change seats. Tell me the whole story."

So I started from the beginning and wound up near the end of how our conversation had gone. I even included the little argument we had in front of Kurenai-sensei. She had to be pleased with that—even if it left out what Kiba said.

After I was done, she nodded thoughtfully. "So you have a plan then?"

Somehow I knew what she meant by asking that. She wanted to know if I was making any progress with my silly "crush." Truthfully I had gotten nowhere, excluding just a few, tiny conversations. Really, I knew him probably no more than I knew someone like . . . Naruto or Shino. So he couldn't know much about me either.

Then I remembered my note, the one with the advice about how to get Suigetsu to ask me out. "I sorta have one," I said. "I haven't tried yet."

"Try it! Tomorrow's a long lunch if you've got no absences yet." Tenten smiled when I agreed enthusiastically. "By the way," she continued after a moment. "You never told me what Kiba said."

I smiled back at her apologetically. "Well, Kiba wants me to keep it a secret, so . . . But I think he likes you," I said without betraying Kiba. "I think he really does, he's just to nervous to tell _anyone_."

Tenten frowned. "Why?"

"Well, you'd be nervous to tell _him_, wouldn't you?"

"Not really."

I tried to interpret her expression without results.

She elaborated for me. "I've already told him."

"What?" I said, shocked. "You _told _him you _liked _him? When?" To think, _she _was the one asking me all these questions about my life. She had a whole stash full of secrets.

"It was over the summer. I phoned him and asked if he wanted to hang out, and he said sure. He didn't know I wanted it to be a date . . . until at the end I told him my true feelings." Her face fell. "He said that he'd have to think about it. And if he did like me, he'd be relieved that I felt the same, not unsure or indecisive . . . I really don't think he likes me."

I stared at her for a moment jealously. She hadn't been nervous at all—not a bit. I guessed if one looked at it maturely, then one would know the answer would have to be either yes or no to question like that . . . so there was no point delaying or even abandoning the question. But was it really possible to be able to ask without anxiety? To not anticipate an answer so much that you just couldn't ask? Was that even human?

Tenten looked up finally and examined my face. "You're upset," she said. "Why?"

"Because you're upset," I lied. From her face, I felt my answer didn't work. "Because you weren't nervous," I admitted. "How couldn't you be nervous?"

"Natsumi . . ."

"How?" I repeated, suddenly intense.

"Because . . . because I thought he felt the same!" she answered. "I was positive he'd say yes, but he didn't . . . So _now _I'm nervous because I'm not sure anymore."

"Then you get the nervous-thing." I was relieved. So it _wasn't _possible to avoid the anxiety. I wasn't pathetic. "Why do you think Kiba wouldn't be nervous?"

"Because I already said I liked him, so he should know already. If he knows, he shouldn't be nervous."

Reluctant to explain, I looked down and didn't speak for a moment. "Maybe he's nervous because he thinks you've moved on from then. I _know _for a fact that he likes you." It seemed unfair to say anything else, even if it did give away Kiba's secret.

"Then you think I should try again?" she asked.

I was about to nod. But then I remembered what else he had said. That if Naruto asked Sakura, and she agreed, then Hinata would be left alone. And Kiba wouldn't allow for that. So instead— "No, don't ask yet. It's boy's choice, so he has to ask."

Her fingers laced themselves between each other. "Are you _sure _he likes me?"

"I'm positive," I answered. "Trust me."

"I guess I have to," she said before flipping of her light. "Goodnight, Natsumi."

"Goodnight." I always trusted her when it came to Suigetsu. She could return the favor.

OOO

Anko-sensei had allowed us to work in groups on the class assignment in French III. Today, Tenten, Suigetsu, and I had chosen each other to partner up. Sasuke and Suigetsu still glared frequently, so I guessed the latter was cutting off all ties and had chosen to be with us more instead. However, despite how great he and Tenten were at betting on each other over homework, they were not helping me much.

In fact, they were playfully bickering on who would finish first while I struggled on the second problem (they were on the eighth out of ten). I tried to stop twirling my hair out of nervousness, but as usual, the habit stayed strong.

"So Natsu-chan," Suigetsu cut in, just as I began to comprehend the math question. "Guess what."

My gaze jumped to meet his, and I let out an angry sigh. "What?" I snapped.

Surprised, he leaned back.

Tenten rolled her eyes. "She's just pissed because she almost figured out the answer to number two, and you made her forget it."

"Not true," I said. Suddenly I felt shy for snapping at him. "I'm just tired. But what?"

"I decided to screw Sasuke and tell you anyway."

I frowned. "Huh?"

"Tell you why he's mad at me, remember?" he said. _Oh yeah_, I thought. I slightly noticed Tenten, tensing up. Suigetsu continued talking. "So the argument was about whether I _should _tell you the truth or not—the truth about Hebi, I mean."

"The truth?" He was letting me in on something that Sasuke considered really important. I felt ready to go insane with joy. This was not an act of mere acquaintances. Placing my full attention on him, I put my pencil down.

But suddenly I felt a pair of eyes on me, besides Suigetsu's. They focused intensely on me. Suddenly I felt scared.

"Yeah, the truth. You wanted to know, right? More about us?"

"Suigetsu," Tenten warned.

He ignored her. The pair of eyes bore deeper. I struggled not to shiver. I felt naked, completely exposed. The pair of eyes was staring.

"Well? Do you want to know?"

Suddenly I didn't. Tenten's gaze flipped away from us and to the table behind us.

"Natsumi—" Suigetsu said.

"What's going on here?"

I gasped. Sasuke's voice. Behind me. I froze in the chair. I didn't dare look at him. His shadow loomed over me. I imagined him staring expectantly at Suigetsu . . . though maybe _he _owned the pair of eyes that were watching me. That would make sense . . . I calmed down.

"Nothing, Sasuke," he said sarcastically. "Just telling her what an idiot you are. Like, how you won't let her change seats in Bio, even though you can't even stand the sight of her. Stupid, huh."

I wished I could see his reaction. That was harsh. Still my resolve to stay still hardened.

"I'll stop him if he tries again, Sasuke," Tenten promised.

I heard him walking away. The atmosphere between the three of us tightened, afterward, as Tenten continued to double-check her work, and Suigetsu looked at her pointedly. And I couldn't do my math. It was completely silent and tense. I _needed _someone to say something.

"Hey," I began uncomfortably, "can someone _please _help me with number two? And make sure I got number one, right?" They had both already finished (at the same time) anyway.

"I will." Suigetsu rushed over in just a second to see why I was having trouble. Tenten did nothing but glance up to smirk slyly at me. I smiled back gratefully at her, and looked at Suigetsu's paper. On it, in clear letters said:

_I'll tell you everything. Later._

Then the feeling of being watched reentered my mind. The eyes were on us both. I realized the feeling had lingered, even when Sasuke had come over, and I had subconsciously passed the strange gaze as being his. But it wasn't . . . Somehow I knew that now.

"Suigetsu," I whispered, "don't look now, but someone's staring."

Despite what I said, both he and Tenten looked around immediately. "It's 'him,'" Tenten said, and resumed her work. "The transfer student."

I glanced at Suigetsu since he and Tenten seemed to be conversing in a different language. His face paled slightly, and he backed away from me slowly. "Um," he said, the first time he had ever been unsure of himself. "Why don't you help her with the problem instead, Tenten?"

Grimly she nodded. "Right." With that, she moved over and told me exactly how to do it. Though I was thankful, she got frustrated if I didn't understand, unlike Hinata, who generally explained things better. Still, at least, I finished by the end of class, even if a lot of it was just copying her work.

And for the rest of class, Suigetsu avoided talking to me or looking in my direction. He also kept a relative distance between us. I wondered what the transfer student (I didn't even know there _was _a transfer student recently) had to do with any of it.

The next class, the gaze remained. I attempted focusing on the teacher and ignoring the feeling. But when he allowed us to work on the lesson on our own, I couldn't focus on the task. The worry had given me a headache.

Around ten minutes before class ended, the sense of being watched disappeared. I sighed heavily in relief as soon as it did.

"You haven't started drawing at all," a voice said beside me. In art class, it was arranged so that there were tables facing the board, rather than desks, and at each table sat two students—similar to Biology. Being the odd one out, I had sat alone at my table, but around three classes ago, a new kid switched classes and now sat next to me.

But we hadn't spoken until today. I glanced up from staring at the blank piece of paper to look at him. Oddly familiar appearance, but I couldn't quite place a finger on it. "Uh, headache," I admitted. "Can't think."

He smiled and returned to his drawing. "I see."

When I caught a glimpse of his work, immediately it impressed me. The angle of it all was perfect, and though not finished, the shading looked real. Usually I wouldn't bother deeply conversing with someone I didn't know, but I was curious. "You like art?"

"No. School's boring."

"Art's at least your favorite class then?"

"Same as all the other classes . . ."

I frowned. "But you're really good."

Finally he set his pencil down, apparently finished with the drawing, and turned to look at me. "Do you like being a blonde?" he asked with a smile etched across his face.

I shrugged while trying to figure out his intention.

"Well, you're pretty good at being a dumb one."

About to retort, I was cut off by the bell. When the loud ringing ended, I instead laughed slightly. It was a joke; that was all. I started gathering my things. "Right . . . Anyway," I said, "it's good you chose art. The teacher will love you with how you draw."

"Thank you," he replied politely. His bag was already on his shoulder. "Good luck with your blank drawing, Natsumi." A joke.

Although it had been awkward, I smiled at the recent conversation. Whoever he was, he was nice enough. And if he worked that well in art, then I'd officially have help in every one of my classes, even though art was the least of my worries. As I put my pencil in my bag, I abruptly sensed a warning. In my head, I ran over his last words he had spoken before leaving the classroom.

_Good luck with your blank drawing, Natsumi._

He shouldn't have known my name.

OOO

Long lunch meant we had around an hour. I had plenty of time to enact my plan with Suigetsu, but there was something I had to do first. So I wasted no time in heading right over to Sasuke's declared table while no one was around him. I stopped in front of him, and folded my arms angrily.

"Who is he?" I demanded of Sasuke as soon as he looked up.

"Who?" he shot back.

"I don't know his name, but he knows mine. All of _your _friends call him 'the transfer student.' Who is he?"

"Listen—"

"No! You listen! It's starting to freak me out! Who _is_ he?"

His dark eyes sharpened into a glare as he stared at me. "If you would shut up, I'm trying to tell you." He waited a moment before continuing. "He's one of those guys from Otogakure High. Remember that night?"

I gasped. "Was he one of those guys that—"

"No," he said. "Those people left, but they did go to the same school as he did."

I took in his words. The night Sasuke had rescued me (I felt somewhat guilty at the thought of my lack of thanks), there had been other transfer students. And those transfer students went to Otogakure High, just as this new transfer student did. Obviously if he knew my name without me telling him, then I was his target.

As if sensing my thoughts, Sasuke's tone lowered to a calmer one. "Are you listening? Because this part is important."

Angrily I nodded. Just because he was giving me advice didn't mean we had returned to even terms. "Of course I'm listening."

"Did this person say anything to you? Anything at all?"

"Yes. It's called small talk. I sit next to him in art."

"Did Suigetsu say anything to you that he shouldn't have?"

The Hebi secrets again. I glared. "None of your business, Sas—"

"It's completely my business," he said coldly. "Did he?"

"Not your business, but no, he didn't. Why are you asking me this?" I asked. He didn't answer at first, and I drummed my fingers against my arm impatiently. This wasn't supposed to take long. He was wasting my time.

Finally he spoke. "If Suigetsu says anything to you about 'Hebi,' then tell him you don't want to hear it."

_What?_

"I'm serious, Natsumi," said Sasuke at seeing my reaction. "Don't let him tell you. In fact, it would be best to stay away from him completely."

"Sasuke, you know I'm not going to—"

"And stay away from me. Don't be an idiot. This isn't about Homecoming. If it were, I would be ignoring you, not giving you advice."

I tried to stay where I was standing. "Jee, thanks for the tip. I'll keep it in mind. But you would probably ignore me whether I talked about Homecoming or not. You hate me, remember?" With those words finally out in the open, I began to leave. Sasuke had answered my questions already anyway, and I didn't want to stick around for his retort.

"Natsumi," Sasuke said suddenly. He stopped me in my tracks. "If I hated you . . . you wouldn't be here right now. Those guys, at the start of school—I'm the one who stopped them. You owe me."

I agreed completely, but his tone and the way he said it was just mean. "You caused that to happen to me, didn't you?" I shot back. My back was turned to him. "You came from Otogakure High. They followed you or something. So that's why you stopped them. You were guilty. So there's nothing I owe you since, to be honest, you were just fixing your own mistake. I should actually be wary of you for causing such a thing, right?"

He said nothing.

"I'm not staying away from Suigetsu," I continued. The words made me feel a little helpless, especially after what I couldn't help but say next. "But I will stay away from you."

After that, I walked away. As I left, the cafeteria started to get noisy, and I could just barely hear what Sasuke said to me before I had gone. "Good," was all he said. From his tone, I could still tell that he wasn't happy that I would stay away. He was just relieved.

**A/N: -suddenly feels timid- Um, trying here? It's tough to go back to a story that was ditched in a frosty desert full of snow and blizzards and everything. But my break was well worth it cause about 30 new ideas for more chapters festered while waiting! :D And **_**Shattered Hearts **_**is also being worked on. I've written all the scenes, but I've reached the bridges. Trust me, those bridge-scenes are sooo boring that I shudder every time I see a keyboard. So I'm trying to find a more exciting way to bridge! Lol. So either **_**Loved and Lost **_**or **_**Shattered Hearts**_** next. ;)**

**And here's my preview for next chapter coming August 23rd:**

The bell rang in the back of my mind, and somewhere there, I knew I was late now. But I couldn't get my legs to respond while my brain hastily tried to interpret what had just happened. Frozen, my right arm trembled while hanging in midair. Sasuke slowly turned his head (from a slightly awkward angle) back to stare at me. His face was in total disbelief.

**(I'll leave you to figure this one out xD)**


	14. Jealousy

**A/N: Not on time. A day late, I forgot I existed, lol, sorry. ^^ Anyway here you go. The preview at the bottom is a must-read. Thanks for all the reviews that encouraged me to keep writing this. Otherwise, I may have had to say the dreadful word "hiatus."**

Loved and Lost  
By SpacePirateGirl

_Jealousy_

As I made my way towards the line for lunch, I noticed Suigetsu and Karin bickering again. She was complaining about how he didn't ever listen to Sasuke, and he was telling her what an idiot she was. I walked slowly up to them, afraid that their argument would be suddenly thrust at me.

"Um, Suigetsu?" I barely got out. My body sent tingles up and down my arms, and my stomach filled with butterflies.

He threw one last smirk at Karin before turning to me. "Yes?"

I felt light-headed at the realization of what I was about to say. "Well . . . Since it's a long lunch, I was gonna go to Ichiraku. Wanna come?" My thoughts wandered back to Tenten, and I wondered how anyone wouldn't be nervous, even if they already knew the answer.

His grin flickered for a moment. "It's not 'later' yet. I'll tell you everything about why Sasuke's mad at me after detention tonight."

"No," I said a little too quickly. "I mean . . . This has nothing to do with that. Sasuke said you shouldn't tell me anything about that." Karin still stood next to us, and on her face was a frown.

"He's been saying that for a week," Suigetsu said.

"I know, but . . ." I looked down and pressed my hands against each other. "It's different this time. There's this transfer student that has something to do with it, so Sasuke said you shouldn't tell me anything. I don't get it, but I'm sure you do?"

Concerned, his eyes examined me. "Did you meet the transfer student?"

This wasn't about that. "No! . . . I mean, yes, but that's not the point." Finally I tore my gaze off the floor and looked up at him. "The point _is _that I don't want to know anymore . . . I'm just going to Ichiraku for lunch, and was wondering if you wanted to come."

"So the transfer student talked to you?" he asked instead.

"Yes," I admitted. "Are you coming?"

"Natsu-chan, I would, really, but . . . let's try not to talk much to each other for now—at least, not unless we're around other people. Until things have cooled down."

I frowned. "I don't get it."

"Sasuke also told you to stay away from me for a while, didn't he?"

"Well, yeah, but . . . why?"

"It won't be long. The transfer student will leave soon, and things will go back to normal. Then we can go to Ichiraku's, okay? Besides, Kakashi's running detention tonight, so we'll have plenty of time to talk."

I glanced at Karin again because she hadn't spoken a word since my arrival. Didn't she have something to say? Her eyes simply studied the interaction as if guarding what Suigetsu might say. She was in love with Sasuke; I didn't expect her to do anything less than what Tenten had done this morning.

I sighed. "Okay. But you're still helping me change seats, right?"

"After detention. Promise," he said. He grinned. "Staying away from Sasuke for now is a good idea, too."

"That won't be a problem," I joked. "Thank you."

He nodded, and I left to go sit with Tenten, who currently was brushing over a textbook for next period's test. "So did it work?" she asked without looking up.

My eyes widened. How did she know what the note had advised me to do? "Um, did what work?" I asked as a cover-up.

"Your plan, hello. I know you had one 'cause you've been fidgety all morning, silly. You also told me last night you had a plan. Did he ask you out yet?" Her eyes slowly rose to see my reaction.

I sifted through what she just said. Nothing suspicious. All she knew was that I had thought up a plan, but she didn't know what the plan had been. She couldn't be the author of the note.

"No," I said. "Not yet." I didn't mind though, because it wasn't as though he hadn't _wanted _to go to Ichiraku's with me. It was because of that transfer student, wasn't it? "Any progress with Kiba?"

"Nope. Guess we're in the same boat." Tenten smiled. "Want to help me study for these finals?"

"Sure, if you help me."

So instead of what I wanted, the long lunch turned out to be a brief quarrel with Sasuke (first in a long while), and a tedious study session that I already had done last night. Hopefully detention wouldn't turn out to be the same, and Suigetsu would actually help me change seats. He did promise . . .

The warning bell rang, so Tenten and I walked as far as we could together to class while we tested each other for the upcoming finals. I was basically prepared in everything but math and science, while she was ready for everything, it seemed.

She wasn't nervous in asking Kiba out, she did homework flawlessly and excelled in sports, and somehow, although different, her appearance was up top with even Sakura and Ino. And she easily joked around with Suigetsu, even as she promised she didn't love him. I lost myself in these thoughts, until I suddenly realized _what _exactly I was thinking.

I hadn't even noticed the emotion welling up in my heart.

"Um," I said, abruptly wanting to get away from her and sort out my feelings. The strong emotion that hit me just then burst against me to be free. I had to get away from Tenten. I had to figure this out. The one-minute bell rang. "I better hurry!" I told her and snapped my study folder shut.

As I began to rush away, she stopped me by placing a restraining hand on my shoulder. "Natsumi, are you okay? You haven't been yourself lately."

I stopped to examine her expression. Concern. My guilt increased. "Yeah, I'm fine." I put on a huge, false smile, and she released me. I couldn't lie, and I knew she understood I just wanted to be alone. "See you, Tenten," I told her and rushed down the hallway.

Just outside the Biology classroom, I stopped to catch my breath—or rather to avoid going inside immediately. I needed the solitude.

The emotion was envy. That was what I had been feeling. Total envy, and it had been so sudden, too. I had had to run away before I told her anything nasty. I stared down the emptying hallway as if expecting an answer to why this had happened.

She was a friend, a good one. Besides, I'd always hated the pathetic girls who were jealous at every small thing that a person did. Could I have turned into one? I shook my head to try clearing away all the nasty thoughts piling on top of each other.

Loving someone was a great feeling, but was it really worth this? Of course it was, I tried to tell myself. Of course . . . Because if love wasn't worth the feeling, then why did I keep following the emotion blindly into envy and hate? If the consequences weren't worth it, then wouldn't love have died off long ago?

I clasped my hands together as tears started to rise. Disorientation and defeat clouded my thoughts. I might start _hating _my best friend, because I was in _love _with an acquaintance. And there was nothing I could do . . .

"What are you doing?" a voice said, breaking into thoughts.

I straightened out immediately from my hunched over and gloomy position and backed against the wall. "Sasuke," I greeted with a neutral voice.

"Well? What are you doing?" His eyes locked onto mine as if listing every possibility why I could be standing like an idiot outside of the classroom that I was about to be tardy to.

"I'm sulking," I said matter-of-fact-ly. "Leave me alone.

A dark smirk crossed his face. "Did Suigetsu tell you to stay away from him? I'm _so_ sorry he did what I said he should." His tone didn't sound all that sorry. In fact, sarcasm laced his voice.

I remained silent. Arguing with him hadn't really solved anything so far, so it probably wouldn't now. Besides, whatever I _did _say, I always ended up regretting later.

"Instead of moping around over his lack of liking you, you should hurry to class. You've got about sixty seconds left."

I forced myself not to speak. There were so many retorts I could make, but I drove them back down and tried to forget them.

"What? Are you scared of failing the pop quiz at the end of class today? Hinata must not be a very good tutor."

Now he had insulted my friend.

"You want to know the truth? Something about Suigetsu?" Sasuke asked. It was as if he was jumping from subject to subject to purposefully find something that irritated me. His smirk grew darker. "He asked Tenten to Homecoming last year, weeks before he even started _considering _asking you. And Homecoming's getting closer. I don't think you have much of a chance with him any more—not even a chance of getting _played_. You should flirt your way with someone else, or you'll be left all alone . . . "

My heart started pounding. All of my bottled emotions were rising through my chest. I felt an extreme adrenaline rush threaten to burst through my system. I could run. I could run away into class where conversation wasn't allowed. But the jealousy of Tenten, the anger towards Sasuke, and the fear of rejection wouldn't let me move. My chest hurt every heartbeat.

"This is the truth, Natsumi." A smirk plastered on his face, along with a victorious expression, forced me to clench my fists. I had to will myself to stay still. "Suigetsu," he continued, "doesn't love you. Not even as a friend." The voice lowered to a whisper. "And he never will."

I couldn't hold it in anymore!

. . . .

The bell rang in the back of my mind, and somewhere there, I knew I was late now. But I couldn't get my legs to respond while my brain hastily tried to interpret what had just happened. Frozen, my right arm trembled while hanging in midair. Sasuke slowly turned his head (from a slightly awkward angle) back to stare at me. His face was in total disbelief.

My eyes must have been twice their normal size because I felt so shocked and flustered, and I couldn't even figure out why. When light pink color began forming on his cheek, what happened hit me. And everything sped up to lightning speed.

The bell stopped ringing. I lowered my hand to my side. I took a step sideways to get away from him (the wall was behind me). At the same time, he shook himself out of his own shock, and turned his back to me. I saw his hand rise to the bruise.

Even in the still and silent moment, I wanted to slow it down. My thoughts made up for the lack of sound and movement as they raised speedily through my mind. Wondering what I could say or do to fix the situation; wondering if I _should _do anything.

"Sasuke . . . I . . ."

No. I wasn't sorry for hitting him, even though I really should have been. I hated myself for what had just happened, so why couldn't I apologize? What kind of a person was I?

One painful insult, and all the retorts and warnings I had wanted to say came out in such a violent way. Bad, bad, bad. I was so stupid.

What would he do now?

At that thought, my thought pace slowed down.

Sasuke—he wasn't doing anything.

Or so I could imagine, because his back was turned to me.

I was defeated . . . because I couldn't say sorry, yet still regretted my action. I didn't want to ignore him anymore. I didn't want to be friends with him either. He had won the battle without even doing anything. My voice showed my defeat. "We're late now," I said quietly. "That was the bell."

"I know." A blank voice, not nearly as sadistic as the insulting one had been. In fact, his voice was thick and empty of emotion. Maybe he had admitted defeat as well.

Face also empty, Sasuke turned and stalked toward me, grabbed my hand and led me to the the door of the classroom. I didn't even try to escape his grasp.

Jiraiya-sensei saw us walking in late. "You two—" I could only imagine what changed his mind about a scolding—maybe that Sasuke was holding my hand? Maybe that's why Sasuke was holding it in the first place? An excuse for tardiness? "Never mind," Jiraiya-sensei cut himself off. A goofy grin spread across his face. "Take your seats, and we'll begin class."

I was temped to roll my eyes at his reaction, but Sasuke quickly and wordlessly led me to our table while half the girls in the class glared at me sullenly. Sasuke released my hand and sat down, and I scooted my chair as far away from his as possible before sitting. It was a habit.

A few seconds passed, and he hadn't spoken much, or moved much, but I could tell his thoughts revolved around the scene. Every few moments, I glanced in his direction to see his onyx eyes examining the walls thoughtfully. His expression, as usual, was flawless—completely shut away—but his posture was different. Relaxed and composed. Not tense, as it had become over the last long while.

At one point, he caught me staring, and I nearly flinched at the thought that he was angry. I _had _slapped him after all. And I hadn't even planned on apologizing. But after he held my gaze for a second, I could see he wasn't mad . . . I saw acceptance at my reaction, instead, which was quite a difficult emotion to decipher in a situation like this.

I knew now that I vented things onto Sasuke, and some of it wasn't always his fault. Keeping silent was the reason I had lost control today. It had felt in that single hit that everything I had wanted to say but held back came out in a rush. I'd have to watch that . . .

I wondered why this happened now. I had never released my anger like this before . . . Maybe I had lived for so long trying to keep bad emotions at bay that one single incident (like falling in love) had set everything off balance.

About ten minutes of brooding passed before I even decided to pay attention to what was going on around me.

The boring lecture Jiraiya was teaching us passed right through my head as I doodled on a sheet of paper and effectively began to ignore the certain person seated next to me. I just had to remind myself: today would be the last day I'd have to endure his threatening aura because today, Suigetsu promised me one way or another he'd get me out of this seat. The promise repeated in my head.

For once, I smiled slightly. Suigetsu hadn't seem phased at all at the implications of what I had asked him to do. He had just accepted easily, with no objection, to put on a show of "love" in front of Jiraiya. It eased my mind, for it meant the decline to come to Ichiraku seriously had nothing to do with his feelings for me.

"Okay, okay, quiet down everyone," the teacher said. I glanced around the room to see where the commotion was coming from—Ino and Shikamaru, of course. Apparently he was demanding a pencil from her because he was too lazy to find one himself. And Ino was refusing to give one to him.

Despite my recent depression, I laughed a little. They seemed to be getting closer, at least.

"We'll be doing a fun lab for the rest of class," Jiraiya continued, "and you'll work with your partners, as usual."

"Yay!" Naruto exclaimed.

I glanced towards his table to see Sakura's sulking face.

"Settle down, Naruto. Anyway you'll all be looking at a slide of a cell under a microscope with your helpful partner sitting next to you."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sasuke glance at me as if calculating how much of a problem I would be or maybe it was to see my reaction, I didn't know. I ignored him. Just this one last class, and it'd be over. After this one lab . . . Then I only remembered the scene before class, and I shuddered. I couldn't even _apologize_. How would I even speak to him now?

Jiraiya began to set up the microscopes at each table while he had Naruto pass out the lab worksheets to everyone—one per table. When Naruto came to my table, he stopped and looked at me. It was amazing how he could be annoying and silly at sometimes, but then he knew when to be serious.

I smiled at him to show him it was fine. Somehow he understood that Sasuke didn't like me for some reason, and that any brief encounter with him could set us both in a heated argument. It wouldn't happen this time, I was sure, because Sasuke didn't appear to be in insulting mode at the moment.

Naruto put a paper down and moved on, and after Jiraiya set up the microscope, Sasuke grabbed the worksheet.

I had to say sorry. "Sasuke, I—"

"Don't." He scanned the paper quickly before setting up the microscope.

Afraid to bother him further, I stayed silent.

"The pop quiz. You ready for it?" he asked neutrally.

To be honest, I was completely ready, especially after the brief review with Tenten at lunch. But I didn't want to tell him that. "Why?"

"This lab worksheet probably has the same questions the quiz will." He finished with the microscope and stopped and looked at me. His eyes glared, but his voice wasn't angry.

Confused, I tried to interpret his behavior. Part of him seemed to want an apology, but the other part held the demand back. He spoke to me so calmly, while I was certain he was angry at me for hitting him. My eyes found my lap. Before just now, I had half-expected him to do the lab on his own and not even trust that I could "help" him with any of it.

Suddenly I remembered the way he had stopped me from apologizing a few moments ago. Maybe he didn't expect one from me? Or he just didn't want to hear it if I wasn't truly sorry. I forced my gaze back up.

"I'm ready for the quiz, Sasuke, so you don't have to do this whole lab yourself, okay?"

"Why not? You'd probably take three hours to do it anyway."

Fuming, I snapped my mouth shut.

He frowned. "Okay, look, it's just filling out a diagram of a cell. We don't even need to look through the microscope for this. You fill in the right half, and I'll do the left. Does that work?"

"Yes," I said.

"Good."

We weren't being friendly, but we weren't being mean either. I sighed in relief and began filling in the blanks on my half. Even if I did make a few mistakes, Sasuke probably wouldn't care. This was just a lab worksheet, after all. Jiraiya-sensei stuck a one-hundred-percent grade on it whether the answers were correct or not.

I finished just three minutes after he did, and we both waited. Fifteen minutes before class ended, and the pop quiz was handed out. It was almost the exact same thing on the lab worksheet, only we had to label just a select few parts of the cell and also list the functions.

They were the easy ones, and I had no trouble at all. For this one quiz, I had managed to not over-study the details, nor simply skim through the whole lesson. And Hinata had pointed out exactly the parts of the book and notes that I needed to know. Hopefully next time, I could do the same thing.

Jiraiya ended the quiz after ten minutes and had us switch with our previous lab partner. Anxiety swept through me at the realization that _Sasuke _himself would be grading my paper. And what if I failed? He would never leave me alone.

The incident before class wandered to the back of my mind at this new obstacle. I tried to calm down. He couldn't purposefully give me a zero, because Jiraiya-sensei would notice. Of course, he'd be very picky about my answers, especially after today, and I was sure to have missed at least one . . . But overall, I had done well enough to escape that—or so I hoped.

Not to mention, I was grading _his_.

The answers were on the board now, so I started cross-checking them with Sasuke's paper. Every second, I timidly glanced at Sasuke himself, who was immersed with editing mine. I bit my lip, and tried to ignore it.

Just as I finished, the bell rang, and Jiraiya-sensei began to collect the papers.

I closed my eyes in trepidation when Sasuke returned my paper to me, and he didn't even spare a glance at his own flawless answers.

"You got a hundred," he said when I didn't look at my quiz. His tone was cold again. "I bet you just cheated."

My eyes flipped open. "I didn't. I studied."

"Just like you did with half the lab worksheet? I bet you got half of those wrong too."

I noticed something off in his voice. Something that made me stop arguing. He sounded desperate hoping that I had failed the quiz—somehow that I had failed, and it didn't matter how. He didn't want me to pass this class for some reason, and he was desperate for it . . . I couldn't understand why. "Hinata helped me study," I told him. "That's all."

Jiraiya-sensei came and collected our papers, and I gathered my stuff to head to the next class.

He opened his mouth to say something, and shut it shortly afterward.

I changed the subject. "You wanted me to stay away from you, so why are you talking to me now? You haven't said anything for ages, even when it didn't matter . . . What do you want this time, Sasuke?"

"It's not your business," he said after a moment.

"Like Hell it's not!" Several people still in the room turned in my direction. Even Jiraiya-sensei stopped to listen. Immediately my ears and cheeks burned. I looked down. "I'm sorry, Sasuke, I really am . . . for before class. But, please, make up your mind. Leave me alone, or stop being a jerk."

He didn't say a word. His black eyes stared me down.

"I'm going to be late," I said and walked away.

I had cursed, I had yelled, I had insulted . . . Nothing had worked, and I was tired of trying. Love that caused jealousy was one thing, but someone who caused me to act in such a horrible way was another. Today, my seat would be changed, and then this whole thing would be over.

I headed to my next class, and pushed the thoughts out of my mind.

**A/N: Sasuke's getting owned next chapter, and here's the preview to show it (I won't tell you why cuz some of you might not have figured something out, and those that have probably already know):**

My heart was beating. His face was so close, and I didn't know how to react. The whole room span. My hands shook in anticipation. I froze up, and I felt my eyes widen dramatically.

But I didn't pull away.

I wanted this.

**(OMG!)**


	15. The Question

**A/N: So I assume you think there's a kiss scene in here? I wonder who! Thanks for reviews. Preview at the bottom... ^^**

**Anyway, this is sort of a ramble here:**

**UM, since it's been so long, I've sorta forgotten whose roommate is whose? Except the obvious Natsumi and Tenten one. I **_**think **_**Hinata's with Sakura? Or Ino? And I have no idea if I've even mentioned Sasuke's (which spoiler: will be Naruto, who just... "avoids" going to his dorm room; he practically lives and sleeps with like Kiba, Lee, ect.), so . . . If there are mistakes regarding that in the future, please tell me, and I'll fix them. I would go back and read the whole thing to find out, but I'm scared to death if I do, my fuel for writing this thing will go bye-byee~. -_- So sorry!! But at least I updated, right? Teehee. :) **

**Thanks for reading. Mostly you nice people are the only reason I still enjoy writing.**

Loved and Lost  
By SpacePirateGirl

_The Question_

Suigetsu hadn't shown up for the class after biology, and I could only assume he had gotten himself into in-class detention. Now that I was in the after school detention we both had to go to, I wanted to ask him about how he got in trouble this time, but we weren't supposed to be talking.

I pondered at the thought of being here at all. If my mom had discovered this, she would be all over it, and demanding that I focus more in class. I'd probably get grounded—or even worse, she'd make me change schools thinking this one was a bad influence. It was what had happened last time.

Luckily the only way she would find out is if I told her. Because no one would stay on the phone with her long enough to say anything important. Modern cell phones weren't really her thing, and neither was talking on them.

"Natsumi," Suigetsu whispered from the seat beside me.

I glanced at Kakashi first to make sure he was deeply immersed with his book, and then looked at Suigetsu. He held out a piece of paper, and I took it from his hands.

_I think he's asleep._

"He" meaning Kakashi, I glanced at the detention teacher, once again. The book hid his face, so it was hard to tell. But his breathing was definitely even.

_I think you're right_, I wrote back and passed it to him.

It was back in my hands in an instant. _So how was Sasuke in Bio?_

_Normal. _Not much else to say.

_Is the transfer student in that class?_

I thought back carefully and pictured every face in Biology. I knew most of them as either Naruto's friends, or just some strangers I didn't know. None of them was the transfer student. _Nope._

Then suddenly I recalled a face. A pair of eyes watching everything I had done. I thought back to the table behind mine, and pictured the dark hair and eyes. That had been him. I scribbled out my answer. _Yes._

_Kk, we're changing your seat right when we get outta here._

When I received the message, I glanced at him. He was serious, which was unusual. I felt a bit depressed that he wasn't joking around anymore because if _he _was serious, then I knew something was up. In fact, I even felt a little fear over this . . . Sasuke, who hated me, had taken the time of warning me to stay away. _Should I be nervous? _I asked on the paper.

_No way. As long as you do what I say. Hmm... wonder what my first order should be._

I laughed quietly while reading it. This was more like him. I didn't feel quite so scared anymore. _I don't know. You'll probably think of something interesting._

He didn't return the note for a while, so I stared on some of my homework. In about forty-five minutes, the note was finally passed back to me. It said in hesitant, clear letters: _Were you lying today about not wanting to know about Hebi?_

I frowned. Not what I expected. _Well, if it's a problem, then no, I wasn't lying. I don't __need__ to know about this, so don't worry about it. Let's just wait till the transfer student leaves, and then we can talk about this._ It was a lengthy response, but I hoped he would understand. I _was _curious, but it wasn't my business. He didn't need to bother himself about this because I didn't need to know.

He took a moment to read the message, and then looked at me. "Natsu-chan, there's something I need to tell you after we change your seat."

Instinctively I glanced at Kakashi, but he was snoring now. "What?"

He grinned. "I said _after _we change your seat, not now."

"Why not now?" I tilted my head and stared at him. "What's the difference?"

"Okay, fine." The teasing tone wove into his voice. "I wanted to tell you that Naruto decided to ask Sasuke to Homecoming."

For a second, I froze.

Then Suigestsu burst into laughter and couldn't stop. "I swear," he said between laughs, "you're so gullible. You get all worked up, and fall for it every time."

Failing to keep a straight face, I let out a small laugh myself. "It's not like I try to be an idiot . . ."

"Nah, it's all good. Keep being stupid like that 'cause your face is so hilarious."

I smiled shyly but didn't say anything. I felt my heart rise in my chest. A few minutes ago, I could have easily cried or have wanted to be left alone . . . How could he tease me like that, yet somehow make me feel happy?

Suddenly the snoring from the teacher's desk stopped, and we resumed the silence. A few seconds later Suigetsu handed me a note. _Don't pass it back, I need to do homework. I'll tell you what I wanted to say after we change your seat. Promise._

I nodded at him and continued doing my own homework.

OOO

Kakashi-sensei allowed us to leave early, and immediately Suigetsu lead me to the Biology classroom. The trip passed in silence. He refused to break it, and I was nervous to disturb his concentration. His face seemed immersed in deep concentration.

But when we arrived, I couldn't remain silent anymore. "Suigetsu, you do know that Jiraiya will only buy it if—"

"I know," he said and grinned. "I'm pretty convincing. Just _you _don't say anything you don't mean, okay?"

I nodded in understanding, and Suigetsu knocked on the door.

"Come in," said Jiraiya-sensei from inside.

Suigetsu slung an arm over my shoulders, and heat instinctively rose to my cheeks. I considered our pose, and knew that we were effectively mimicking a couple—even though it usually signified the relationship was shallow.

We entered the biology room, and Jiraiya's eyes were upon us.

"Hey, sensei," Suigetsu greeted cheerfully. "How was third?"

"Those two silly-heads are still bickering unfortunately." A grin spread across his features. "Oh well, they'll know they're for each other soon enough."

"Yep, once Ino swallows her pride."

I was surprised Suigetsu knew about those two's relationship.

"So sensei, I believe my girlfriend here also has third period with you."

Though surprised at what he said, I kept a straight face and played along with it. Jiraiya stole a look at me, and his eyes could have popped out of his head. "Natsumi, right?"

I nodded.

"You sit with Sasuke?"

Remembering he had heard my argument with Sasuke just earlier today, I stared at the floor and pretended to play the sad approach. "Yes," I said softly.

"Well, we have a problem," Suigetsu continued after no one spoke. "Sasuke's having 'territorial issues' with her, just 'cause I like her. And she's just not up to it without me to support her . . . So I'd like to ask you to change her seat."

I kept my head down, but inside I felt elated. Each word he spoke had meaning to it—any outsider would not only believe he was telling the full truth, but that he really _meant _it, too. The excitement of Jiraiya believing him, and finally getting away from Sasuke nearly overwhelmed me.

"I see," Jiraiya said after a moment. His grin had faded. "However there's only one other empty seat in the class."

"I don't care," I said suddenly. Embarrassed, I looked down again. "I mean, I . . . it doesn't matter, I just don't want to sit near Sasuke."

Jiraiya nodded in understanding.

"Right," Suigetsu said. "So who will she be sitting next to now? If it's someone worse than Sasuke . . . I just don't want her to put up with anything less than she deserves."

"Don't worry, he's a nice boy. You won't know him probably, he only transferred in a week or so ago."

I struggled not to gasp. The transfer student. Beside him remained the only empty seat. I felt Suigetsu's arm tense around my shoulders.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Suigetsu nod. "That's fine then. You're the best, Jiraiya-sensei. Natsumi was about ready to go insane about this class."

"No problem, no problem at all! Good luck with your . . . uh, relationship!"

For once, I didn't care about the almost-perverted comment. My mind could only think of the transfer student, and how Sasuke had unknowingly set this person after me. I hid my outrage at Suigetsu for allowing this to happen. I'd rather be near Sasuke for the rest of my life than this—one class of sitting next to the transfer student was certainly enough.

Suigetsu led me out of the classroom, and shut the door behind him. I didn't need to hide how angry I felt any longer. "What in the world did you just do?" I demanded. My blood boiled.

"Natsu-chan," he began gently, "there's an explanation—"

"No! Don't do this to me," I said helplessly. "I'm afraid of him . . . I know what his friends tried to do to me, so what makes him so much better? Why would you do that?"

"Listen." I had never heard this softness in his voice before. He put a hand on my shoulder. "This is to protect you from him."

I shook my head. This whole thing was such a mess.

"Natsu-chan, you have to understand that regardless of whether you sit next to this guy or not, _changing _seats to get away from Sasuke will make a huge difference in your favor. It'll show this transfer student that you hate Sasuke, and he'll be gone quicker. It'll also show him that you're not afraid of him—which tells him you don't know any of our secrets that would lead you to suspect danger. Do you have any idea how much this will help you?"

I remained perfectly still. He was right, but I couldn't admit it. I wouldn't be able to lie effectively when this transfer student asked what I knew. But if I didn't do what Suigetsu said, I felt even more trapped.

"This is _for _you, Natsu-chan," he continued. "This will make things quicker, so we can get back on track."

The fear swept away at the sound of his words. "Back on track?" I asked because it didn't make sense.

His hand trailed up to run through my hair, and it paused on the back of my head. He drew me in closer. "Yes. Back on track."

In the embrace, he slightly pulled away, and I found his eyes staring at mine. Dizzy, I couldn't move. We shared the same air between us.

My heart was beating. His face was so close, and I didn't know how to react. The whole room span. My hands shook in anticipation. I froze up, and I felt my eyes widen dramatically.

But I didn't pull away.

I wanted this.

He leaned forward, inching closer. I hardly realized my breath was caught in suspense for how it would feel. I'd never kissed before. The boys at my old school never liked me the way some people seemed to here. They ignored me, and in return, I felt awkward, like I didn't belong.

But with him, it came so easily and naturally. I felt his breath tinge my face as he almost came in. And then—he stopped just short of the real moment. "Will you go to Homecoming with me?"

I smiled and backed off a little—the romance and anticipation had already faded. "You'll go to Homecoming with me?" I repeated, somewhat shocked. "Really?"

"Yeah, sure. I thought it was already a fact that we were getting closer."

My cheeks flared up. "Well, um, I . . ."

"So will you?" he asked again.

"O-of course!" My chest was overwhelmed. All thoughts of the transfer student had miraculously disappeared. "Of course I will." I smiled again.

That seemed to please him. "Well, then, I gotta go." Suigetsu grinned back at me, and strolled away, waving as he went. Before long, he was gone. When I continued to stare, a few people that were passing by looked at me as if I were an idiot.

I probably was one.

Recalling that I had asked for help from Hinata with math today, I started forward at a quick—but not quite running—pace. My bag thumped against my side as I walked, and I felt weird for half-running and half-walking.

Suddenly the shock of being asked to Homecoming wore off. He had asked me. He had finally asked me to Homecoming Dance! But with an aching feeling, I realized I had no _clue_ how to dance.

Hinata could wait a few minutes . . . I had to talk to Sakura.

**A/N: Sasuke's in the next chapter, BIG time. Sui won't be too much (I don't even think he is at all :O). Okay, preview time, hehe:**

I took a few deep breaths. He didn't say a single word in between. When I completely calmed down, I met his gaze again. "Sasuke, Suigetsu asked me to Homecoming today. He's serious."

**(Hmm, will they resolve their differences, or forever hate each other?? Find out! Lol, if you haven't noticed by now, these previews are set to trick you into thinking their deeper meaning is something else! Like when Sui and Natsu didn't kiss, and you all thought they would! XD Muwahahaha! Suckers! Lol, I'm just joking. ^^)**


	16. The Lie

**(A/N Present Time: LMAO, I can't believe I felt this way about Sasuke back then (in the A/N). Screw him! Freak him! :P Though, the voice in my head is still screaming at me.... Ughh... And sorry I forgot to update yesterday...)**

**A/N: … ****this chapter probably killed my soul. I hate first person now. It hurts... I mean, maybe if the character was PERCEPTIVE... but no, she has to be stupid. I knew EXACTLY how Sasuke felt in this chapter (OMG, sad), but do you think I could explain it with this stupid first-person point of view?**

**No. Of course not. And it would be too awkward to explain it later in the story since it's not that big a deal... but man, could I feel Sasuke's emotions while writing this (all while knowing, the reader might not!!! :'( I guess it's how Sasuke feels too since he knows Natsumi will never understand how he felt at this moment). Sasuke **_**and **_**I are really frustrated by the end of this chapter because we can't convey these emotions to you! LOL! :( **

**So my point is that maybe one day... I will dedicate a one-shot to how Sasuke felt during this particular chapter. This voice in my head (that substitutes for Sasuke's character) is screaming at me... really loud... and it's annoying. So I'll definitely write it. If it turns out good, I'll post it and mention it in this story sometime. If it turns out bad, I guess I'll just have to keep it to satisfy myself. **

**Anywayzzz, enjoy! No preview at the bottom unfortunately.**

Loved and Lost  
By SpacePirateGirl

_The Lie_

I found quite a few of my friends, particularly Sakura, in the cafeteria. Detention didn't last that long—Kakashi let us go after half an hour, and nobody really left the actual school building for an hour.

So sitting down at the seat across from Sakura, I began to tell her about my situation—she wouldn't plague me about it like Tenten would, and she actually might be able to help.

As I spoke, Sakura simply stared at me through emerald eyes. She remained impassive throughout my entire speech, and the only hint she was listening and that her mind wasn't elsewhere was that sometimes she would tell me to continue when I trailed off.

"I see," she said as I finished. "That would be sort of a problem—not knowing how to dance—wait. Hold on a second. Does anyone in this entire school know how to dance? No, I don't think so—not _seriously _serious dancing, I mean. So I guess it really wouldn't be a problem then, would it?" she asked sarcastically.

I blinked twice. "But it's Homecoming _Dance_. Isn't dancing what it's all about?" Come to think of it, I wondered why I hadn't made the connection before. When I was still in Middle School, I never thought I would attend Homecoming because I could never really picture being with any guy.

Until I met Suigetsu. I'd spent a great deal of time imagining him ask me out. I wondered how he would do it, when he would do it, and how I would react to it (though I did know I would say yes). Of course, the main question was _if _he would do it. But never before had it occurred to me that I would have to dance—not until I was _sure _I was going did I realize the consequences.

Sakura giggled at my anxious expression. "Hey, it's no big deal. Homecoming's _supposed _to be about dancing, but no one really seriously dances because they don't really know how. The only ones who do are people who are crazy about it, like the ones who want to be Homecoming Queen or top dancer in the world or something. Trust me—_no one _you know, except Ino maybe, is serious about it."

"Ino knows how to dance?" I exclaimed. "Think I could—"

"Natsumi!" There was a pause of silence. Then she sighed. "Are you even listening? I _said _that no one you know except Ino, _one person_,will be dancing that great, so you don't have to worry about it."

What she said hardly eased the terror I felt. "Does Suigetsu know how to dance?"

"Huh? What? I dunno. Ask Tenten."

At the same time we both looked about ten yards away at Tenten, who was eating a quick snack with Naruto and Lee.

"Hey, Ten!" Sakura called. At once Tenten turned her attention to us while Naruto continued to ramble.

"Does Suigetsu know how to dance?" I shouted across the room.

Her eyebrows slanted into a confused frown at the question, but nevertheless nodded and returned to her conversation with Naruto.

On our side of the conversation, I had visibly paled. My elbows rested on the table and held my forehead in distress. "See?" I said, disheartened. "I should be worried."

"Nuh-uh, just because he can dance doesn't mean he wants to or is good at it."

I took another breath. "Well . . . do you think he's serious about dancing at Homecoming then?"

She threw an admonishing stare at me and shrugged. "I don't know. Why d'you keep asking _me_?"

Again, we both harmoniously turned to Tenten. "Yo, Tenten!" Sakura called. "Does Suigetsu _like _dancing?"

Tenten looked back at us again. I could see her laughing at us, but it was hard to hear. "Why? What's the problem?"

When I saw Sakura about to explain, I quickly cut her off. "Nothing! Just wondering," I lied.

It fell flat, but Tenten didn't question it—at the moment anyway. She probably knew everything that had happened at this point. "Well, I'm not really sure on this one, but he _might_ like it."

I nodded a thanks and turned back to Sakura.

She seemed to understand. "I guess it just might be a problem. Why don't you ask Suigetsu? He asked you out, so you have no reason to be nervous about talking to him anymore, right?"

"But if he finds out I can't dance, then he might not want—"

"Hmm, that's possible. Sorry then. Not much I can do. I don't even like the guy . . ." She leaned back in her seat thoughtfully. "What about Sasuke? He might know."

I stared stupidly. It was a lousy attempt to "not flinch at the sound of his name" or something like that. I didn't really care when he was mentioned, but for some reason everyone else thought I did. My worthless acts of showing I didn't never convinced anyone, whether I acted honestly or not. "You mean ask Sasuke if Suigetsu wants to dance at Homecoming?"

"Yeah," she agreed. "But you don't look like you're in the mood to talk to him right now?"

I shrugged—and again the attempt to be emotionless failed. I really didn't care about Sasuke! Why couldn't anyone believe me? "Uh, yeah, I guess I could talk to him. I'm not sure _he_ wants to talk to _me_ though."

"Okay, well . . . you can always try then. It's not like I'll be any help at that." She started to stand up and dumped the trash on her tray into the nearby garbage bin. "I gotta go talk to Ino about tomorrow's homework. So later. See you tomorrow—wait." She paused. "Don't you have Biology with Sasuke?"

I nodded.

"You could ask him then? Jiraiya-sensei will yell at him if he doesn't answer you."

I laughed at the thought. Unfortunately, however, Suigetsu had already helped me change my seat, and I didn't want Jiraiya thinking I actually _liked _Sasuke—that wouldn't play out too well. But I couldn't tell Sakura all of this because . . . it was so complex, and half of it I didn't want to share. "Um, yeah, I'll try that," I mumbled.

She cocked her head to the side as if she knew more than she let on. "Good luck then," she said and walked away.

It wasn't a bit sarcastic.

A few minutes later, during which I wondered what I could do, Hinata sat down with me and offered to help me with my homework. I accepted gratefully. While she was showing me the problem I got wrong in math yesterday, I noticed Tenten glance at the hall.

Sasuke was looking back at her.

Slightly surprised at their seemingly silent conversation, I watched as Tenten stood and left the cafeteria, probably heading toward her dorm room. Immediately afterward, Sasuke left as well.

It wasn't my business anyway. I reverted my attention back to the math problem.

OOO

I reached the door to Tenten's and my room, and a force seemed to stop me from touching it. At first, I wondered why, but then loud voices, shouting at each other, whipped through the walls. One, I identified as Tenten. Not wanting to eavesdrop, I began to walk away.

But then a new voice intervened— "How would you know? The whole world doesn't revolve around the four of us, you know. You should keep your nose out of our business. It doesn't concern you anymore."

That voice was Sasuke's. I stopped involuntarily. Why was he arguing with Tenten?

"This isn't about that!" Tenten exclaimed straight back at him. "You _know _it isn't! I already know about your pathetic secrets and Hebi, so why the hell would I ask you about that? This is about the stupid game you're playing with Natsumi! I could care less about what Suigetsu has planned because yours is on a whole different scale—"

"Then what were you thinking when you helped me with my 'scheming' in the first place?"

"I was thinking that it _wasn't _a game! Stop acting stupid, Sasuke!" She paused, and I could imagine her taking a deep breath. "I thought you were honestly trying to be nice, but I guess you weren't. What _are_ you trying to do? Get revenge because she's just a little slow at figuring things out, especially when it comes to—"

Sasuke's voice rose. "No. That's not what I'm doing!"

"Like hell it's not. Even _she _would know the truth if she found out."

"It's _not_ the truth!"

"It _is_!"

They were arguing about . . . me? I leaned closer to the wall.

A new, feminine voice I didn't recognize intervened. "Hey guys, just cool down. There's still a chance it's not a repeat of last year . . . Because he's different now. He's not calling me a bitch as much."

"Yeah, he's definitely different—more subtle about things," Tenten shot back.

The other girl voice paused before replying. "Well, there's still a chance, right? He promised you he wouldn't try it again."

A slight, dry laugh. "Suigetsu promised me a lot of things." The calmness of Tenten's tone was surprising. "He also forgot those promises. Besides, this isn't about him. It's about Sasuke."

The three voices were completely silent. I knew that Sasuke was glaring. At first, I thought they were finished, so I started rushing a few yards away from the door to pretend I had just arrived.

But then Sasuke continued. "Okay, I guess I can agree that it's a game—sort of. But it's not what you think. I . . . It's . . ." Sasuke—trailing off? No way.

The unknown voice finished for him. "He doesn't know what he's doing yet. It's hard because . . . it's just new for him, you know? He wants to help her, but at the same time he wants to stop her . . ."

That statement—which was extremely confusing to me—seemed to throw Tenten off-balance because she was quiet for a few seconds. Finally though, she spoke. "Fine, that makes sense. But I really don't like this secrecy thing—why don't you just tell her in the open?"

Sasuke's voice came quick, and it was simple. "Because she hates me," he said. His voice betrayed no emotion.

Even though I was already like a statue, I froze in my tracks. He thought I hated him? _Hated _him? I recalled the conversation I had with him, one of the last . . . _The only thing you're succeeding in doing is making me hate you. _I had been lying, it was so obvious, and he had believed me—why?

My lips parted slightly, and I wanted nothing more than to barge into that room and yell at him for believing such a thing. But my feet wouldn't move, and I felt helpless. It was more like me to barge in there crying.

He thought I _hated _him.

And neither of the other two voices told him that I didn't. Tenten suddenly began to speak: "Uh, that reminds me . . . Suigetsu helped her change seats in Biology today, so . . ."

Silence.

"Sorry, Sasuke," she finished. "There was no way to convince her otherwise."

A few long seconds passed, and I could detect no one moving, no one speaking.

Until the other female broke the silence. "Here, I'll do it this time, Sasuke-kun," she said—it was so familiar, I just couldn't put a finger on it. "It's tough since it's about yourself."

The Uchiha let out a "hmm" to show that he heard her.

"Did the other idea work?" Tenten asked.

"No." His voice was soft. "Doesn't matter though. They're officially a couple now. I heard he almost kissed her today. After the detention."

"Yeah, I heard too. Well . . . she should be back any time now. Hinata was just helping her with homework last time I saw, and she didn't miss too many problems, so . . . They're probably done." There was bustling about the room. "See you later, Sasuke."

In a hurry to get my frozen body to move, I tripped over my own feet, and fell flat on my face. An involuntary yelp escaped my lips. The door opened. My face paled because I couldn't lie, and if they asked me how long I had been listening, they'd find out the truth one way or another.

Panic settled in.

Sasuke exited the room first, followed by the owner of the voice I hadn't been able to recognize—it was Karin. I almost gasped. What was she doing here? Unsurprised, Sasuke stared blankly at me on the ground (where I had fallen), and almost seemed to consider helping me up. He didn't.

Karin eyed me disdainfully with folded arms, but she made no move. Just stopped and stared.

Tenten was last to exit, and seemed sincerely shocked to see me. "Oh, you're already back? How'd it go?"

Confused, I glanced at each of them when none seemed to think I had been eavesdropping the entire time. I _almost _forgot I was supposed to answer. "Um, how'd what go?"

"Detention," she said.

I glanced at Sasuke again while accepting Tenten's outstretched hand. "Good. Kakashi didn't care what we do in there, so it was actually kinda fun."

Tenten looked at the still motionless Sasuke and Karin. "I'm not going to play soccer today. Too much homework. Sorry. Bye." I instantly recognized the ruse to get them to leave and the cover-up she had ready for their _real _conversation. Then Tenten began pulling me inside the dorm room, and—

"Bye, Sasuke," I said suddenly, surprising everyone, including myself. I didn't want him to believe what he did. I never hated anybody.

Shock flashed across his face, but it was gone in a second. He simply nodded a goodbye.

Then Tenten closed the door.

"Okay, tell me _everything_!" she said excitedly. "Suigetsu asked you, right? That's why you were asking me about him just a few minutes ago?"

I sat down on the bed. "It's . . . complicated." The cliché phrase came out with no warning because it wasn't complicated at all—it was just . . . my business, not hers. I didn't want to tell her until I could trust her again. _That_ was it; I had lost my trust in her. It wasn't jealousy, or hate, or anything I was afraid of feeling. It was mistrust. "What was Sasuke doing here?" I asked instead, hoping desperately for honesty.

Usually she would have evaded the question and told me to answer her questions first. But this time, she answered openly—apparently her one give-away when she lied. I wondered how many times I had missed this characteristic. "He was just wondering if I wanted to play with them again tonight."

It was done. She had betrayed my hope and my trust without batting an eyelash.

Envying the way she lied so easily, I drew my legs up closer to my body. "You're lying," I said simply.

Startled, she laughed, but stopped when I didn't laugh with her. "What? I'm lying?"

I hadn't wanted to tell the truth, but there was no way around it. We were both lying, and if we wanted to fix it, there needed to be _some _truth in the conversation. "I heard you guys arguing," I admitted quietly.

That silenced her completely.

My cheeks flamed up—more from embarrassment than anything else. I shouldn't have ever listened in the first place. Then I could pretend everything that she told me was true. I wished I could have continued being naive.

"How much did you hear?" she asked.

After those words, I suddenly felt angry. Not only had she lied, but now she wanted to know what I _still _didn't know. And from there it all came out in a rush.

"What were you talking about?" I demanded. "He—_Sasuke _said th-that he wanted to help me? And . . . and stop me? What was that all about? And the 'game' he's playing? I don't get it! And you . . . Why won't you tell me?"

Her guilty eyes found the floor. "I _can't_ tell you."

Suddenly I realized tears were falling down my face. But it didn't matter because I might have figured the whole thing out. "_You _told him I hated him, didn't you?'

Eyes shooting back up, Tenten glared. "I did not. He said _you _told him!"

"But you _know _I can't lie! And I was lying! And . . . So someone else must have told him, and it could only have been you because I tell you everything!"

She jumped to her feet. "Then he believed you when you said you hated him! I never told him anything like that."

"You told him I changed seats in Biology! And that Suigetsu asked me out!" More silence greeted my answer. The strange thing was that, though I could do nothing but shout and act offended, each new word lessened the anger inside of me. It left just a deep sadness. Was it normal to shout out of sadness?

Finally Tenten glanced up at me. "I promised him I wouldn't tell you about this." Her eyebrows slanted in shame. "I'm sorry."

Glaring, I stood up, grabbed the school books I left on my bed, including the notebook i had left there this morning, and stomped out the door. The moment I slammed it shut, tears came to my eyes, and I ran . . . ran down the hallway, trying to get rid of the betrayal I felt. I didn't get far because my bag was still haphazardly slung across my shoulder, and the books had began to fall.

I dropped my bag, and set the books inside—a paper fell out when I tried to fit my notebook into the already crowded space. Frustrated, I snatched it, about to shove it back in, when I saw what it really was.

The handwriting was different. But I was sure it was from the same person. This time it was sloppy, though from a distance it could look like a girl's handwriting.

I read it quickly, for it was a response to my question.

_**He was in a good mood when I spoke to him today. Try talking to him now.**_

Now? As in, right now? Suddenly my hands began shaking. I tried convincing myself that it could have been written hours ago, or maybe even yesterday . . . But my gut feeling told me that it was written only seconds ago. Besides, the ink was still fresh on the paper.

I knew this person meant _now_.

And where else could I go? I didn't want to see Tenten. In fact, I didn't want to see anyone, for that matter . . . Not on her "side" anyway. But Sasuke's side . . .

I stood up. My hands still shook, so I put them in my pockets. Adjusting the bag on my shoulder so that it wouldn't fall again, I found Sasuke's door and knocked. He didn't answer at first, and the more I waited, the more I anticipated how he would react to seeing _me_, his enemy in a way.

It occurred to me that I was scared—no, terrified of him—but I bit my tongue to keep it from showing on my face.

And finally, the door opened. Unable to do much else, I stared at the floor.

"Natsumi," he said. His surprise at me coming here felt wrong—as if it weren't real. But I pushed the thought aside.

"Sasuke," I responded neutrally. I couldn't look at him.

An awkward silence enveloped the two of us, and it suffocated the air. I found this more frightening than it had been waiting for him to answer the door. To make matters worse, I couldn't even glance up and meet his gaze—not even for a millisecond. The silence grew longer until I just _had _to say something.

"I don't hate you," I cried out. The words left my mouth without warning, and after realizing what I said, a hand flew to my mouth in surprise. Instinctively my eyes rose to gauge his reaction before I could remember not to look at him. He stared back with a completely blank expression. I knew I had to continue. "I . . . was lying," I said quietly. "That day . . . I thought you knew it wasn't the truth."

He frowned. "I never said you hated me. Why would I think that?"

Remembering that I had eavesdropped on him, I realized my mistake, and my expression fell. But then all I could think about was Tenten and her lies, and I wondered how long she'd been lying . . . And then I realized what _Sasuke _had just told me. _I never said you hated me. _A lie. My next words came out calmly. My expression became defeated. "Are you going to lie to me, too?"

A pause.

"What happened?" asked Sasuke, ignoring my question.

Somehow, though it had made me so sad before, I didn't care. I felt numb. I felt pathetic. So I just had to tell him the truth. "I heard everything," I said with a voice still eerily calm. "I heard you and Tenten yelling, and I know what it was about. Tenten wouldn't tell me anything. She just kept lying, and now you—"

"Natsumi?"

Frustrated, I wiped my new tears away. "Stop lying to me, Sasuke. I know the truth."

Without a word, Sasuke opened the door further and led me inside. Once I was completely alone with him and the door was shut, I burst out in tears. The stress had been piling up for too long. "Sasuke, why would you think that? I don't hate you! I _don't_! _You're_ the one hating _me_!"

"Okay," he said hurriedly. "It's true, I believe you. You don't hate me. Calm down."

"Why are you being so nice?" I took a step back from him. "You're horrible one second! And then you're trying to comfort me the next? Why are you doing—"

Relief swept across his features. "You didn't hear the whole conversation between me and Tenten, did you?"

"Stop interrupting me! Please . . ." I took a few deep breaths. He didn't say a single word in between. When I completely calmed down, I met his gaze again. "Sasuke, Suigetsu asked me to Homecoming today. He's serious."

He frowned, as if trying to understand what I was saying. Then I realized I had _very _awkwardly changed the subject.

"Um, I mean . . . I just wanted to talk about something else. I don't want to fight again." I bit my tongue. That wasn't true . . . I just wanted to tell _someone_, and Tenten didn't make it on that list at the moment. To think I actually was telling it to Sasuke.

This time, he caught up with the conversation. "That's . . . good." His tone was odd. Then again, Sasuke's whole personality was odd.

"Yeah. He wasn't lying or playing me. You must be relieved." I smiled slightly.

"Yeah . . ."

Again—his voice was off. Like it was detached. I studied his face carefully, but it had assumed an opaque expression. There was neither a feeling nor an emotion to study. I sighed. "You still think he'll cancel at the last second," I guessed.

"Maybe. So why did you come here?"

I had wanted to ask him if Suigetsu wanted me to dance at Homecoming--following Sakura's advice. But obviously this was not a good topic to discuss with him. Not wanting to ruin our friendly conversation, I released my held breath at him changing the subject. "Well, to be honest, I wanted to apologize for a lot of the things I said."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm saying sorry basically. So, am I forgiven?"

Another frown. Confused, he stared at me. "Why would _you_ need to apologize?"

"Well, I . . . was really rude. I'm sorry. Are you still mad at me?"

After a small moment, he shook his head. "Then," he replied, "I'm sorry too."

"Okay. And . . . I'm sorry I switched seats in Biology, but it was getting hard to concentrate, so I just did what I had to do. Sorry for that, too."

"I understand. Are your grades okay then?"

I winced slightly. "Well, yeah, I guess."

"Do you need help?" Of course he would know the lie.

"Um, maybe? If I do, I'll ask, okay? As long as you don't yell at me."

"I don't yell."

"Okay, thanks. And . . . since it wasn't really my business, I won't ask about what you were saying with Tenten. Even though I _do _know you were talking about me. So—"

"Natsumi," he cut in suddenly.

"Huh?"

"It won't happen again."

I nodded and said a quick goodbye. Opening the door, I paused to look at his desk. Sure enough, the notes I left with him were still sitting there, untouched. I glanced at Sasuke one last time and smiled; then I left and shut the door quietly.

Only the door closed did I realize how shocked Sasuke had been—at _everything_ I had said and did. His frown had never completely gone away, as if he were surprised at my very existence. That was when it occurred to me that he didn't believe I would ever show up, let alone apologize. Just like Sakura and Naruto, who wouldn't even try talking to him.

How lonely that must be.

But I did come, and I did apologize. I didn't plan on getting in another fight with him either. In the end, if he had no one, at least . . . at least, I'd try to be his friend.

If he chose to want one.

**A/N: Umm, omg._ THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO READ IF YOU LIKE THIS STORY._ So -Splasher-'s review does not count. First, she already knows what happens in this story; second, she gets to read it whether I post it or not. So guys, pleeease show me you're still reading this, and review. Even just _one _review (good or bad) will convince me this story entertains at least someone--either in a good or bad way, lol, I don't care. I'd never stop writing this because I love it so much, but as I said in the very first chapter, I'm only _posting_ it because I want others to enjoy it as well. Most the time posting things embarrasses me. Don't ask why, it just does. So unless I have not a shadow of a doubt that ONE person is enjoying this, I'm done.**

**There's tons of things I have stashed away on my computer--but I never post them because I know I'm the only one who would enjoy them. So don't let this story become one of them! I will always continue to write this, but I need to have a _reason _to post what I have written. Don't let sarcastic -Splasher- show you up in reviewing either! She's a beast, you can't let her have an advantage over you. Lol, just teasing.**

**I know how scary reviewing is; I don't review myself if I can't seem to convey my thoughts in the review properly. But may I be selfish and ask just one person to have the courage to review? Please? No one will laugh if your review is stupid. In fact, I will only laugh out of joy and relief.**

** This is like the first time I've _ever_ asked for a review. Not five, not three, not ten. _One_. Asking for only one review breaks my record. I truly want to keep posting this, so help me out and give me a reason to.**

**Thank you so much. :)  
**


	17. Final Fragmented Chapter

**A/N: So apparently, past-me was a total bitch and abandoned you all, even though I clearly see more than just one review... Yeah, I'm ashamed to be SpacePirateGirl. My author's notes begging for reviews make me want to puke. Anyway, years later, I saw my old ff account, and saw how this girl (aka past-me) promised to update but never did... and I decided that new-me is not like that, and you all deserve more than what past-me left you. **

**So, though I am in no way going to finish this story or make any new chapters, here is what I had written before abandoning this story to the dogs. It is not edited in anyway, and it's probably inconsistent with the rest of the story too. There's also a lot of missing gaps that I filled in with a summarized version of what I can only guess happened. **

**There was a sequel to this story that had some stuff written for it, but I decided not to post that since it's just drama and filler and not worth your time.**

**If you want the full summarized version of everything that happens (including what Hebi is), then I also reviewed this story on chapter 16 anonymously under "the author..." Here are the story fragments if you're interested in more though. **

**I'll probably be doing this on the rest of her stories too, provided I have any recollection of where they were going. Yes, "her" stories, not "my," because I hate being in any way affiliated with SpacePirateGirl. T_T Those who put up with that girl and this Mary Sue... you are saint-like, and I appreciate it. Nothing is like coming back to a story you feel like you wrote in middle school and seeing surprisingly nice comments. :) I hope these fragments can satisfy your curiosity as repayment. Enjoy.**

**XXX**

**[Sasuke and Natsumi start doing homework together after school, to nobody's knowledge. Also... So apparently one time wasn't enough... Suigetsu has to ask Natsumi twice to Homecoming for his asking to count. -shakes head- lol.]**

"Tenten, what's wrong?" I demanded as my friend burst into the room, hiding her face as she went. I knew she hated tears; she didn't want me to see her weakness. But if there was some way I could make her feel better, I needed to know. "Tenten . . . ?" I repeated softly.

She shook her head and lay down on her bed, her shoulders shaking intensely.

Then it hit me. Homecoming dance was coming up quicker than expected, and she had meant to ask Kiba to be her date one of these days. Had he refused? "Is it Kiba?" I asked cautiously.

"No," she answered, her voice full of sadness. She paused for a moment. "Kind of . . . yes."

I nodded, understanding, as Tenten finally sat up, tears still streaming down her face. "What happened?" I asked. I needed to help her.

But she shook her head again, refusing to answer. She didn't seem as if she wanted to talk, but she didn't want to hold it all in either. Maybe if she was distracted for a moment—then her head would clear up, and she would be able to talk.

"Let's finish our homework first, okay?" I suggested hopefully.

Without a single word, Tenten reached for her backpack, and pulled out her math book.

Suddenly I remembered . . . What time was it? I glanced at the clock to discover that it was about three o' clock. Sasuke . . .

"Do you need to go?" Tenten asked, sensing my worry.

I shook my head. I could survive one day without doing my math with Sasuke, and he would understand in biology when I told him. "No way. I won't leave today when you're like this."

She smiled half-heartedly, and we started doing our math homework on our beds. After only about ten minutes, a knock came on the door. "I'll get it," I said before Tenten could get up, and I walked toward the door. Wondering who it could be, I opened it slowly, only to see Sasuke standing there, staring straight ahead.

When the door opened, he turned his gaze to me, slightly allowing curiosity to rest on his face. "Weren't you coming over today?" he asked.

I glanced back at Tenten, who also seemed to be wondering why Sasuke had come. "I'm sorry, Sasuke. Something came up." That couldn't be the only reason he had visited though . . . He wouldn't waste time coming to make sure I was all right, would he?

He glanced behind me at Tenten. "Kiba didn't agree to go to Homecoming with her," he told me quietly.

I nodded. "I figured that much."

"Is she okay?"

Biting my lip, I shrugged. "Maybe. Why'd you come here?"

"Suigetsu and Juugo didn't want to practice anything but soccer, and I'd rather not hang out with Karin." It was his way of saying he was bored.

Tenten had finally got up to see what we were talking about. "Hi, Sasuke," she greeted, her brown eyes on the floor.

He nodded his greeting back to her.

"Can Sasuke do his math with us, Tenten?" I asked, hoping for her agreement.

She shrugged. "Sure."

The three of us entered the dorm room, and Tenten went back to her place on her bed to do homework. I sat on the floor, and Sasuke sat next to me, both of us watching Tenten closely. After a few moments, she wasn't doing her math anymore but simply staring at the wall.

"Have you asked her to talk about it yet?" Sasuke asked quietly.

I shook my head.

"Tenten," Sasuke started.

She was jolted out of her trance, and she glanced back at Sasuke, a fake smile planted on her face. "Yeah?" She saw us both scrutinizing her carefully, and her expression fell even deeper. "I don't want to talk about it," she said, guessing at what we wanted.

"We already know what happened," I told her calmly. "You can still go alone to Homec—"

"What's the point of going alone?" she demanded. "It's a _dance_, not a party! Why go without a date . . . ? I guess it's just because I'm too boyish . . . I should've known Kiba would already have a date!" She paused in her outburst, staring at the ground.

I was about to speak words of comfort to her, but she suddenly started talking again: "It's just like . . . what happened last year."

With that, I was unable to say or do anything but merely stare at the ground, frozen. I loved Suigetsu . . . He must have loved me, as well. He _had _changed; he _was _different. I would be nothing without his jokes, without his humor.

Yet it was hard to love him so much and still know how he had hurt someone close to me. I didn't know what to say.

But Sasuke did. "Tenten, Kiba was very sorry. He only asked Hinata out because he knew she would never find the courage to ask Naruto. He acts like a brother to her, and he didn't want her to sit in the dorm room all alone the night of the dance."

Tears had surfaced to Tenten's eyes again. "So he wanted me to stay alone instead?"

"You hadn't asked him yet," Sasuke countered, his voice devoid of emotion. "Besides, you're not 'too boyish.' You could find someone else easily."

I nodded, finally finding a subject with which I could state agree. "That's right, Tenten. There's plenty of guys out there without dates yet."

"A lot of them are only friends, and the rest of them I don't even know," she argued. Then her defensive position vanished from her eyes. "Listen. I don't want to argue with anyone, okay? I'm just gonna go shoot some hoops. There's basketball practice tomorrow, and I want to do my best."

She stood up, and headed for her basketball sitting in the corner when Sasuke stopped her by standing up. He spoke softly but surely, "Tenten." He paused as she glanced at him, her face questioning. "As a friend, will you be my date for Homecoming?" he asked.

I looked at him in surprise. What . . . But he was going to ask Sakura, not Tenten. Was he so easily able to give something important to him up, only to make another person happy? A person he barely even knew, too? Politely I drew my gaze away, knowing their conversation was a mostly private. If I wasn't so curious, I might have left the room.

Tenten sounded just as surprised as I felt. "But . . . Sasuke, you . . . I . . ."

"It's all right to refuse. But you shouldn't go through the same thing as you did last year."

I heard a long moment of silence, and couldn't resist the urge to look back at them from my spot sitting on the ground. Tenten was hugging Sasuke, and he appeared annoyed or not knowing what to do.

"Thank you, Sasuke," she whispered. Then she grabbed her basketball from the corner.

Sasuke said before she left, "I need the practice, too. I'll be with you in a second."

"Thanks!" she exclaimed as she ran out and closed the door.

Stunned beyond belief, I couldn't remove my gaze from him.

"It's not polite to stare, you know," he said, ignoring me.

I giggled before averting my eyes. "Sorry."

"Has Suigetsu asked you out yet?"

The question caught me by surprise, and all traces of laughter stopped. Well, he hadn't exactly . . . He had mentioned that he wanted me to go with him, but that was a long time ago, and I wasn't sure he still remembered. "Um . . . Yeah, of course he has," I struggled to lie, heat rushing to my face at the same time.

Sasuke wasn't fooled by my lie. "Be prepared for anything."

I shook my head. "Stop it! Everyone always says these mean things about him and how I should avoid him at all costs when he's never done anything to hurt _me_!" I could hardly believe I was yelling, but I knew I wasn't about to stop. "If he didn't like me, I would have noticed something by now! Please . . ." Barely noticing the tears falling down my face, I stood to my feet and glared at him, the first time I had ever glared in my life.

"And how do _you_ know you would have noticed by now?" Sasuke countered, turning his back to me.

"If he's so mean, then why is he your friend?!"

"None of them are really my friends," he explained coldly. "You wouldn't understand."

I couldn't take it anymore. "Please go be with Tenten, Sasuke," I ordered. My voice was quiet yet somehow angry at how he was shunning me, not only from his secrets but also from Suigetsu himself.

Sasuke didn't move. Like me, he just stood there, staring ahead, yet unlike me, I knew he wasn't holding back tears. He never moved . . .

Why? Why did no one ever take me seriously? Even Sasuke didn't! "I said get out!" I cried, too exhausted and too upset to keep myself calm. I sank to my knees, sobbing uncontrollably. Suigetsu always said I cried too easily . . . He had said I shouldn't waste my time crying over choosing to act. But getting angry never helped anyone . . . I knew that now better than I ever had before. Getting angry led to rifts between friendship, between love. I hated anger—which was still hatred.

My gaze was on the floor, and tears kept falling and falling. When I finally looked up, Sasuke was gone.

For a few minutes, I searched and fumbled around, looking for my cell phone, half-blinded by tears, and soon realized it was merely in my pocket. I reached for it and dialed the number that would lead me to the person I most needed to talk to.

He answered. "Hey, Natsu-chan!"

I said nothing. Suigetsu always had something to talk about. Wouldn't he have something ready now?

"Are you okay?" his concerned voice asked.

Truthfully I had no idea. How could a simple friend—Sasuke—break my heart into so many pieces? How had he caused my ears to cling to his words, my eyes to see every single movement he made? He was only a friend . . . My hands shook, and I

"Where are you?" he said**.**

**[So yeah... he asks her to homecoming for the second time. Then he tells her some stuff that Sasuke probably wouldn't be too thrilled about.]**

Suddenly a man—no three men, and one woman—appeared from out of the shadows. Suigetsu's relaxed pose instantly stiffened. I could tell from a glance that he knew who these people were.

Frightened, I turned to look at them approaching steadily. The one in front sneered at us with a sadistic expression. The woman followed closely as she flipped her fiery red hair behind her. I was too paralyzed with fear to even think of examining the other two.

"What's with the long faces?" teased the one in front.

Suigetsu glared in response. "You have no business here . . . Sakon."

Then two rough hands grabbed me by the shoulders from behind, just when I realized the other two had disappeared from site. Surprised, I closed my eyes and found I couldn't open them out of fear. My teeth ground together.

"Let her go," Suigetsu's voice rang angrily.

"And why should I? She your girlfriend?" Sakon's smirk was woven through his voice.

"Because she doesn't know anything. There's no answers in her. Let her go."

Warily, my eyes opened, and I saw that Sakon was a foot away from me while Suigetsu stood a good distance away. His legs were bent at the knees, and his hands were clenched into fists.

"Our observations have told us she's been hanging around Sasuke and you guys for quite awhile. You say she doesn't know a thing. That means you must be either way too secretive or way too unfriendly.

The redhead frowned at Suigetsu. "Or you're lying," she added through clenched teeth.

I struggled in vain. "What are you . . . talking about?" It would have made a huge deal in my favor if I had said the words right. But right as I spoke, I realized the truth—they wanted to know about Hebi, Sasuke's secrets, and then my words came out fake. It did make a huge difference—for _them_.

"Ah, see?" Sakon said. His voice hid under a thin layer of ice. "She does know something. Aren't you glad she apparently can't lie?"

Infuriated, Suigetsu charged at Sakon, who pleasantly signaled the other one (the one not holding me) forward. It was over in a second. One held Suigetsu by the arms, the one who had held me stood watching Suigetsu closely, and Sakon had me pressed against the wall.

My head hurt from being slammed against the brick, Suigetsu looked as if he'd received a punch, and they had us both guarded in some way. But that was the least of my worries.

Sakon had a gun in his hand, and it was pointed at me.

"You're going to tell the truth now, aren't you?" He was eerily calm with his tone. "What do you know?" I couldn't answer. I couldn't speak. My voice was gone.

"I told you, she knows nothing! I swear! Please, stop—"

Sakon sighed. "Jiroubou, teach Suigetsu here a lesson on how to shut the hell up."

I watched helplessly as they threw another punch. "Suigetsu!" My attention returned to Sakon as he put a hand gently on the side of my face.

"Natsu-chan—"

"Natsumi," I corrected icily.

He ignored me. "This is between you and me now, and it'll all be over a lot quicker if you tell me everything you know."

"What makes it so important?"

"Trying the 'play stupid' approach again? It's not going to work on me."

"Hey, idiot," seethed the redhead, "you're taking this too far—"

"Enough, Tayuya." Sakon held a hand up to silence her after realizing my mouth had opened to speak.

"Even . . . Even if I did know, I wouldn't tell you." I tried to be firm, but it came out in a whisper. Tears began to run down my cheeks. Pathetic. I was so angry that all I could do was cry.

Misinterpreting my tears, Sakon smiled apologetically. "There, there, I won't shoot you, so long as you tell me the truth. Because you _do _know." His voice was disgustingly soft. "And you _are _going to tell me."

The gun clicked. I closed my eyes. The barrel was pressed against my forehead, and I knew he was going to shoot. Until . . . my eyes opened because I could no longer feel it against my skin. Sakon had re-aimed at . . . Suigetsu!

"No!" I screamed. "No, please, I don't know anything! Please don't shoot, _please_!"

"Tell me the truth," said Sakon, who was still looking at me. "Tell me the truth, and no one dies."

Eyes widening, there was little more I could do then shake my head. He had me completely at his mercy, if he hadn't already before aiming the gun at Suigetsu. I knew nothing! And_ that _was the only thing I knew! My heart thumped in my chest. No matter how little I could do, if Sakon shot, then it would be entirely my fault. For being a crappy liar, for starting this whole thing, for not listening to Sasuke's advice . . .

"Tell me," he whispered as he leaned closer to my face.

I closed my eyes. "Please . . . please . . ." I begged.

"Are you done harassing my friends?" asked a new voice. The question was rhetorical. The sound of footsteps echoed against the walls.

I knew the voice. I opened my eyes to see Sasuke, and had to withhold a sigh of relief. He wasn't looking at either me or Suigetsu but at Sakon, who smirked right back at him.

Sasuke took a step forward, then another.

"One more step and Suigetsu dies," Sakon warned.

He stopped. "Sakon," he began in that icy voice of his. It made it seem as if _he _was the one with the gun, as if he had _wanted _to stop. "Do you honestly think I would be irresponsible enough to let Natsumi find out anything? Besides. I hate to say it, but even if someone managed to get one word through to her, she would have told you right when you pointed the gun at Suigetsu. Let her go."

I flipped my gaze to Sakon, who still smirked pleasantly. His expression hadn't changed. But I could tell this man had no retort, which was why he remained silent.

But then the redhead took a step forward. "I get it. You're _afraid _to tell her. You're afraid because you—"

"Enough." Sasuke glared. "Let her go, or you'll regret it."

Seemingly realizing something, Sakon smirked wider. "I think I get it, too. Maybe I'm pointing the gun at the wrong person here . . ." His hand moved in slow motion to point it at me.

Sasuke raced forward at the moment the gun aimed at open air. Sneer fading, Sakon moved the gun more quickly, and readied to shoot. His finger pressed down on the trigger, just as Sasuke sent a kick towards his arm. The gun whizzed past me, but I still heard a shot.

Through tear-filled eyes, I saw Sasuke snatch the gun after a quick back fist, and then he backed against the wall with me behind him. I felt completely safe. No one could possibly reach me. The only thing left was . . .

"Let Suigetsu go," Sasuke ordered. I peeked over his shoulder to see him pointing it at the two who held Suigetsu by the arms. No one moved. "Let him go!" Sasuke now targeted Sakon.

Tayuya, the redhead, who was obviously at least second-in-command, signaled to them, and they released Suigetsu quickly.

"Now get out of here, and don't even think about coming back."

Sakon threw an icy glare at Sasuke. Then he turned and smirked slightly at me. "Very well. But we'll be back. Be certain about that." The four were gone as quickly as they had appeared.

Wide-eyed, Suigetsu approached me. "Natsu-chan . . . you're . . . I'm so sorry."

Sasuke lowered me to the ground. That was odd; I hadn't even realized I was falling. "Keep breathing," he said deeply. "Don't stop."

"What are you—I—" The pain hit. "Aaah—" I couldn't stop myself from screaming, so I let out a cut-off yell. I started moaning. The pain blurred my vision until I completely lost control of myself. I'd never felt anything so bad. "S-Sasuke." I shivered involuntarily and felt I wasn't getting enough air.

"Keep breathing," he repeated. "Suigetsu, hold this down on the wound. Looks like he just got her shoulder, nothing else."

He said something, but I couldn't hear. He was sorry?

"Natsumi, stay awake," Sasuke continued. He tilted my head to the side, and suddenly I found I could breathe again. "Calm down. You're going to be fine."

"Wh-what . . . h-happened?" So cold . . .

I felt Suigetsu's hands pressed against my arm stiffen. Sasuke spoke; "I tried to get there before Sakon did anything, but he still managed to shoot your arm."

"He shot me?" I struggled to grasp at the words when there was hardly any memory. Everything was blurry, and I couldn't make sense of anything. "Wh-who?"

Suigetsu was mumbling words (it sounded as if he were on the phone), and Sasuke was draping my body with a jacket. "Just stay calm," he repeated over and over. I never heard him say things so soft. Or maybe I'd already died of blood loss or passed out, and this was all just an illusion. I listened to what he said though, and things started to make sense again. I, at least, didn't have such a hard time breathing anymore.

"S-Sasuke . . . Why come h-here? You . . ." Exhaustion overcame words.

He understood. "Because . . . it was completely my fault . . . to even _hint _to anyone, including you, that you knew anything. This is exactly why we can't tell anyone our secrets . . . it always ends up like this."

Too tired to nod, I sighed at his answer. I heard Suigetsu, who was still completely freaking out over the phone—I could hear. It wasn't like I got shot in the heart or anything. It wasn't even that bad really; it only hurt a lot.

"Are you okay?" Sasuke said softly.

I smiled slightly because it seemed insane that anyone would ask that in this situation. But it made sense to me. He was making sure I wasn't going to go into shock probably. Looking back, I realized I almost did—if he hadn't noticed, I could have been in such a daze right now. "Yeah," I said. I was exhausted enough to sleep, but then remembered he had warned me not to.

"You can probably rest now if you want. Just be sure to wake back up."

I smiled, but before I was able to think up a good reply, I had fallen asleep, the sound of sirens becoming the lullaby.

**[Blah-de-da. Homecoming comes up... and passes. Suigetsu dumps her after Homecoming, I believe, because he realizes he still likes Karin and it isn't fair to Natsumi to continue dating her. Then Hebi decides they go back to Otogakure for some reason or another]**

My body slumped into a sitting position on the floor, leaning on the side of my bed. Then my hand sloppily grabbed my diary from the bed stand and flipped the pages of my diary hastily, crystal tears running down my face as I went.

Each page I turned only led to more tears as I recounted how each page had meant one day of being a fool, of being blind. My world of illusions was written in this book as was my world of betrayal.

Finally I reached a blank page. I didn't know whether or not it was a sequential page. I didn't care.

_**December _**_

My hand wouldn't write the words I desired. Each sentence I could come up started with that _name_, that name I didn't dare mention or even think. That heartbreaking name. Had this been what Tenten gone through last year?

A knock at the door rang in my ears, and I couldn't move to answer it. I couldn't move at all.

Rap, rap, rap.

The knock again.

I heard the handle try to open, and realized that I had left it unlocked carelessly when I had burst in. Whoever the visitor was seemed cautious when opening the door slowly—as if afraid of disturbing me. But finally I heard footsteps make their way across the dorm room, toward me.

I still couldn't move.

The guest sat down beside me, not offering any comfort but not leaving either. I felt eyes examine the book in my hand, and the empty page with only a date on it. But upon realizing what it was, I knew he looked away. It was polite—this person was.

If only I could move to look.

"I'm sorry about what happened, even if I did warn you beforehand," the person's voice said.

Sasuke.

What was he doing here? I wanted to ask him so many things, but my voice would not obey my commands.

"Nobody changes easily, Natsumi. Nobody."

I choked out a sob at his words, my throat dry and odd. "Wh-why . . . ?"

He didn't answer for a moment as if he was choosing the right words to say. "People are the way they are because of their pasts. Only hurtful, meaningful events will change someone. You should understand the most. Haven't you stayed the same this entire time? Even now, you won't dare hurt a person's feelings, not even Suigetsu's when you were angrier than ever at him."

"Stop saying that!" I screamed, my voice returning to me instantly at the mention of Suigetsu. "I'm _not_ the same! I'm not like that!" Sasuke wasn't phased by my yelling, but still I immediately regretted what I had said. "Sorry . . ."

"See?" he said. "It's not in your nature to be mean without reason. And even then . . ."

I struggled to force back my never-ending tears. "Have you come to lecture me or just betray me like all the rest of your friends did?" I said, my voice never having a tinge of anger in it, only overwhelming sadness—subconsciously I realized that Sasuke was right.

"I came to say that we won't be gone forever," Sasuke explained. "We'll probably come back within a month or two, depending on whether they forget about your or not."

I shook my head. "But things won't be the same."

"Yes, they will, Natsumi," Sasuke replied. "Things weren't what you thought they were, after all, were they?"

I couldn't respond. My voice was fading from my grasp again. I still didn't fully understand what had happened, except on a subconscious level. I didn't understand. To an outsider Sasuke would seem to be rubbing this in my face when, to me, it felt comforting. Because I needed to know. Somehow, I needed to be reminded of all the warnings he had given me, so I could learn and never make this mistake again.

"They say it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all," Sasuke told me, his voice still devoid of all emotion—numb.

"That's only what the fake lovers out there say," I retorted, my voice speaking without my consent. Though I knew he was right. I wasn't naive anymore. I had learned a valuable lesson.

He stood up and looked down upon me, apology for things he had not done in his eyes.

I couldn't understand his unsaid words.

Sasuke pointed toward the diary still in my hands, though politely he did not place his eyes on it. "Don't leave it blank. You just might change your mind and want to come back to it someday."

I glanced at him dubiously. Read something about _this_ catastrophic day?

"I guarantee you'll regret it if you don't write something for today."

Somehow beneath his words, I could sense empathy, advice from a life of experience. Had Sasuke ever felt this way? Had he experienced what I had just experienced?

I couldn't ask, for my voice was gone, and Sasuke was leaving. For a few moments, I sat, hardly paying attention to the time flying past. He was leaving. Without a goodbye! Maybe months without a goodbye! Maybe forever!

I jumped up, hardly even thinking about what I was doing and raced out to the hallway. "Sasuke!" I screamed, hoping he would hear me. He was so far down the hallway. The elevator door had opened. "Sasuke!" I screamed again, even louder.

He glanced back and saw me. The elevator door shut behind him while he made his way back to me.

"Sasuke-kun," I whispered when we had reached each other, "I don't want you to leave. Take me with you."

Sasuke shook his head.

"Please," I begged. "I don't care if Suigetsu's there. I don't want to be alone."

He put a hand on my shoulder. "It's only for a while. You wouldn't last a week at Otogakure High."

"I don't care," I repeated. "I don't want to be alone."

"You're not alone," Sasuke said. He gestured with his eyes to look behind him, and I saw Tenten, just coming up the stairs, her eyes seeming to be searching for something until she saw me.

I heard her shout my name, but I still didn't care. I wanted to be with Sasuke. It was strange. We were both on the fourth floor, we were both Sophomores, we both shared the same table in that Biology class, and, most of all, we both were somehow alone, even with all the familiar faces around us.

"You're never alone, Natsumi," Sasuke said again, hearing Tenten rushing toward me. "You can have the friends you were meant to have here. Tenten, Hinata, Sakura . . . Kiba, Naruto, Shikamaru. They'll forgive you for hanging out with us, you'll see."

"No," I whispered. "_Please_."

He seemed to be ignoring everything I said from then on. "Don't make the same mistakes I did." He removed his hand from my shoulder, and the absence of it made my body feel cold and numb.

"No," I said slightly louder than before as he began walking away from me. I followed, dazed, my hand outstretched as if I could stop him.

But Sasuke didn't stop. "Take care, Natsumi."

"No!" I sank to my knees, tears rushing out endlessly. I hardly noticed Tenten rushing over and kneeling beside me. Her arms wrapped around me sympathetically—no, empathetically. Tenten knew how I felt. She mumbled words of apologies, of comfort.

But I wasn't listening. All that I cared about was the Uchiha, slowly fading from my reach.

My tears stopped for a moment when he reached the elevator, and I hoped he would turn back and stay. I _needed_ him. He was my friend.

But then the elevator door shut. And he was gone.

"No!" I shouted, even though he wouldn't hear me.

All was lost.

Tenten slowly forced me to my feet, and I allowed her to lead me back to the dorm room. "It's okay," she whispered. "You'll be okay."

I shook my head feebly, and as we entered the room, Tenten sat down on her own bed and stared at me, wondering what to do. I saw my diary still lying on the ground from where I had left it.

Strolling over it, I decided to follow Sasuke's last word of advice. He had told me to write in it; he had said that I would want to go back and read it in the future. I couldn't help but kneel down and pick up the pen which was lying haphazardly on top of the empty page with only a date.

_**December woethwioehtiowehtiowehtiowehtiowehoithweiothweioh**_

No, I could not write Suigetsu's name. It would be too stressful, too upsetting. What could I write then?

Soon enough my hand was stroking words against the page quickly as I hardly even realized what I wrote.

_**December woeithoweihtowihtoiwheotihwoieth**_

_**Sasuke visited me today.**_

_**I was angry when he wouldn't let me come with him. I still am really. But he was nice about leaving, and he promised to come back soon.**_

_**I don't understand why he's so polite to me. I'm socially awkward, and he said himself that I was annoying. But still it didn't annoy him when Jiraiya sat us next to each other in Biology. It didn't annoy him when I wrote notes to him during that class sometimes for the entire hour and a half. It didn't annoy him when I finally apologized to him, even after all I had said. **_

_**I hope he comes back, and I don't care if **_

I couldn't write Suigetsu's name. I skipped that part.

_**I'll miss doing my math and biology homework with him if anything.**_

_**Goodbye, Sasuke. Come back soon.**_

I sensed Tenten, standing behind me, and I closed my diary gently. I didn't care if she had seen what I had written. It had come off at the spur of the moment, and even _I_ hadn't understood what I was saying while I wrote it.

"Is that where you always went after class was done?" she asked curiously. "To Sasuke's room?"

"Yeah, it's just right down the hall. Room 411. We always did our homework together there. He's smarter than me," I explained, my voice surprisingly calm yet also dry.

Tenten nodded. "It won't be long, Natsumi."

"No, it won't," I repeated.

December woehtiowehtioewhtiweht

_**It's been a month. **_

_**And it's almost one of those school dances again. I'm nervous because . . . Well, if someone asks me out, I'll have to say yes, but I really don't want to go.**_

_**I get a letter in the mail every so often. They never say much, but they do help. Sometimes they say he'll be back in a few days, sometimes a few weeks. Sometimes they're just a note asking how I'm doing. I never reply. **_

_**Tenten says I should. It might help with . . . what happened. But I can't. I want to forget everything, the letters included. I wish I'd never met Hebi.**_

"Hey, Natsumi," Tenten greeted as she entered the room.

"Hi."

Her chocolate eyes stared at me suspiciously. "You don't have a date for the dance yet, do you?"

I shook my head. "I don't want to go."

She sighed and sat down on her bed. "You'll never get anywhere acting like that."

"There's still Prom in the spring," I said, knowing I wouldn't be going to that dance either. "Besides . . . _you_ don't have a date yet either, right?" I reminded cheerfully.

A glum expression registered on her face. "No. Not yet."

"Kiba really likes you," I told her, trying to cheer her up again. "Ask him. He'll agree, I'm sure."

"It's traditional for guys to ask the girls out," Tenten said, still staring at the wall.

"I'll tell him to ask you then," I suggested before I saw the clock. It was time to go. I grabbed my backpack and stood up.

Tenten watched as I began to leave. "Where are you going?"

Hesitant to answer, I simply shrugged. I knew I was never a good liar, but I could still avoid the question. As I closed the door behind me and began walking down the hall, my eyes inspected the number on each door.

Room 415, Room 413, Room 411.

The door was unlocked, for the inhabitant of it from only a month ago was gone. There was no use for the room anymore, so it was simply a dorm room with two beds, a bathroom, and a small kitchen area. Not to mention, Naruto, Sasuke's roommate, had pretty much ditched the room, from the start of the year to be with his real friends.

I opened the door slowly, always feeling as though Sasuke would be there this time. He never was.

As I entered the room, my back nudged the door shut behind me, and I sat on the floor, remembering all those times only a month ago. I could never think of _him_; it hurt too much. But I could remember Sasuke, who had promised to come back as soon as he could.

It had been a long time.

The room felt so empty, ghastly.

I bit my lip before sitting on the ground and taking my backpack off. It didn't feel right to do my homework anywhere else but here. I couldn't concentrate. Anywhere else, my mind would scream Sasuke in my head every time I tried to do a simple math problem, and soon the screams would remind me of someone else—someone I would never think of again.

Here, I was calm.

Soon I was finished with all my homework, so I stood up again, ready to leave. Excuses were running few and far between these days, and I wouldn't be able to fool Tenten for long. She and her friends would know where I was after school every day soon enough. Sasuke needed to get back soon.

I was about to open the door when I saw something on the small desk. Drawing closer, I soon realized what it was—a cell phone. That was . . . Sasuke's. He forgot his cell phone when he left?

My fingers touched it cautiously. I

**[They come back... yeah... Lots of scenes happen, Natsumi and Sasuke get to be better friends. Sasuke wants Natsumi to come visit over Spring Break instead of her going back to her house.]**

"Mom?" I asked when I heard a greeting coming from the other end of the phone.

"Yes, dear, what is it? School over early on the last day of the week? I'll come pick you up—"

I shook my head quickly, even though she couldn't see me. "No, no. I wanted to ask you something."

A curious expression appeared on Sasuke's face, and he leaned in to listen to the phone conversation as I struggled not to giggle.

"Is something wrong?"

"No! It's just . . . about Spring break," I began hesitantly.

I could hear my mother gasp. "Did you forget to find your crayons to color the eggs?" she cried out. "Don't worry! I can get them for you!" I heard a thump, which I assumed to be my mom putting down the phone to go look for it. Then I waited patiently for her to return. "Oh no! They're not where they're supposed to be," my mother suddenly said, and I winced due to the abrupt noise. "I think your brother took them. I'll go ask."

"No—"

Another thump. She hadn't heard me.

Sasuke started chuckling, and I realized he had just heard the whole conversation. Embarrassed, I pulled my cell phone away from his listening ear, and started pacing.

"Natsumi," he said as if me stopping him from eavesdropping was an _extremely _rude thing to do.

I shook my head at him. _No_, I mouthed. He would only make fun of me because of my mom . . .

Sasuke sighed in defeat, and sat down on the bed. "Your mom is weird," he said bluntly.

Just what I thought he would do.

"Natsumi," my mom suddenly said on the phone, and I nearly jumped in surprise.

Sasuke laughed the tiniest bit, and I glanced at him—angrily though I couldn't bring myself to glare. I was so nervous . . . Would my mom agree?

"Your brother destroyed all your crayons . . . I'll have to get you new ones," my mother continued gloomily.

I bit back a laugh before anxiously saying, "Mom. I was wondering if . . ."

"Yes?"

"If I could stay at school for Spring Break," I finally got out. Yes, I couldn't lie very well, but my mother was gullible enough to believe me. "Please," I added hopefully.

There was a long silence, and I could feel Sasuke's gaze staring at me hopefully. He itched to listen in on the conversation again, I knew. I remembered when I was younger, people used to do the same to me. I would watch as they asked an important question on the phone, and they faked their expression to trick me. It had been funny actually, but I couldn't trick Sasuke with my facial expression—he seemed too apprehensive and too nervous to laugh at something like that.

I brought my attention back to the phone conversation. "Mom?" I reminded. She was so obsessed with family time, and I knew the chances of her letting me stay at school were very slim.

"Mom?" I repeated.

"Uh . . ." she finally answered quietly. "Could you, at least, come home for Easter?"

I sighed and smiled with great relief. "Yeah, sure."

"So I'll pick you up at school on the night before Easter?"

"No, a friend can drop me off."

"Is it a boyfriend?"

"Mom!" Sasuke? Becoming a boyfriend? Yeah right, when Sakura and Ino gave up on him . . . or maybe when pigs learned to fly.

"Well, see you later then, Natsumi! And don't forget to get presents for us!"

I felt an urge to roll my eyes, but suppressed it quickly. "Thanks, Mom. Bye!" I hung up and turned to Sasuke. He had only heard half of the conversation and wasn't sure what to make of my relieved expression.

"Well?" he demanded.

I laughed. "She said yes obviously."

His shoulders rose and fell in relief, but then he returned to finding ways to tease me. "That's the first time you've ever lied so well. It must have been really important . . ."

"Only because it was important to you," I explained. Something was off about him lately. Ever since he had returned from Otogakure High, he hadn't been acting as he usually did. He was different. Or maybe I was just imagining things.

"All right. After school today, my mom will pick us up, and take us to my house," Sasuke explained. "Make sure you're clear that we're only friends. She's . . . picky about things like that. No one bothers me—except . . . well, you'll see—so once we get there, it'll be like it is here. Okay?"

"Okay," I agreed, taking in what he said. "My mom wants me home on Easter though, so—"

Understanding what I meant, Sasuke nodded. "I'll take you there then."

**[Sasuke and Natsumi get even closer... She gets over Suigetsu...]**

Sasuke and I strolled down the halls towards Biology in utter silence. We rarely spoke to each other at all, for that matter—both respecting the other's desire to remain quiet. And besides, I didn't enjoy bothering Sasuke with small talk.

Sakura glared at me as she walked past, and I sighed. She hadn't spoken to me in days, only because I was growing close to Sasuke—as a friend, of course. I really did miss talking to Sakura though. Sometimes small talk _was_ relaxing.

The raven-haired Uchiha noticed my frustration. "Sakura's still jealous?"

"Yeah, even though there's nothing really to be jealous of," I responded quickly.

Sasuke smirked. "Yeah, there is. She has your non-fan-girlish attitude to envy."

"I suppose so," I agreed, smiling. When I began to enter the Biology room, Sasuke grabbed my hand and gently pulled me back. I glanced at him, startled, for he had never really . . . _touched_ me before.

"I wanted to ask you something," he said quietly.

I nervously inspected my shoes. "Um . . ."

The bell rang sharply, cutting off any conversation I could hear. That noise seemed to have saved me a lot this year—not that I was complaining or anything.

"After class?" I asked.

He nodded as an annoyed expression settling on his face, and then he followed me into the classroom—just on time.

….

…

Finally excused from class, I grabbed my backpack, and walked casually toward the door. I would have waited just outside for Sasuke, but he didn't know that. As a result, he was one step behind me the entire way, ready to chase me if I tried to escape. Boys . . .

"So?" I reminded. "You wanted to ask me something?" Not that he really needed a reminder at all, I just figured I had an easier way than he did to restart the conversation.

"Yeah," he said evasively as though he had changed his mind about the whole matter instead. "Let's just walk for a second."

I followed, striding at his side. I tried not to let my panic show, but I was sure he knew it was there. Those were the last words of Suigetsu and me, being together—or rather, _supposedly_ being together. But Sasuke wouldn't betray me, would he? He was . . . different.

"It's about Prom," Sasuke stated, obviously trying to ease my fear.

"Oh." He wanted advice on asking somebody out. I wasn't surprised, for he had said the same thing at homecoming.

Sasuke glanced at me as he continued walking. "I was thinking about Prom, and the fact that nobody ever really said it was supposed to be a date. It's just sort of a tradition to ask your girlfriend out, right?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I've known some people who didn't ask a real girlfriend out, and you went with Tenten for Homecoming. So who are you asking? Sakura? For real this time?"

"No," Sasuke responded. "But I do have a question for you. I was wondering—"

"Hey, Natsumi!" Kiba yelled from across the hallway as he ran up to me. He completely ignored Sasuke, but, at least, he didn't glare. "I have a question."

I smiled. "Yes?"

"I need your opinion since you're a really good friend of hers," he continued. "If I asked Tenten to Prom, do you think she'd say yes . . . ?"

"Kiba, she has a huge crush on you. Of _course_, she'll say yes," I answered and mentally laughed when a huge grin appeared on his face. How long would it take him to figure it out, even though everyone told him on a regular basis? Well, at least, he was asking her this time.

He began running off. "Thanks, Natsumi!"

I shook my head at him before turning back to Sasuke. "You were wondering?"

Sasuke appeared to shake himself out of some deep thoughts, but soon we began walking down the hall again. "Right," Sasuke started again. "I don't really have anyone to go with, so I was wondering if maybe . . . you would go to Prom with me."

My eyes widened, and I forgot how to move my legs. Did I really hear correctly? Was he really asking me to Prom? Sasuke, the one who _hated_ Prom, who would rather _not_ go to Prom than go with anyone less than a girlfriend?

"You don't have to if you don't want," Sasuke said quickly. He, too, had stopped walking, and was staring at the wall in front of him, a strange expression on his face. "I was just curious what your reaction would be."

Yeah right, I would've said, but I still was unable to speak.

"Should I take this as a refusal?" Sasuke finally glanced at me, smirking.

I half-laughed. "No! No . . . I just . . . Well, I'm a little shocked, I guess."

He nodded in hasty agreement. "So? Will you go to Prom with me . . . as a friend?"

His last two words seemed to slap me in the face. I still felt I had to say "yes." However, I stopped myself before the word could exit my lips. Truly I was very tired of being selfless—as Sasuke put it—and, after staring into his onyx eyes, I just couldn't say the answer he wanted. And a moment afterward, I knew why I could not speak.

"No, Sasuke," I answered finally, the words feeling free and clear.

Sasuke's smirk disappeared, and he turned around to leave. "That's interesting. I really expected you of all people to say yes. . . I'll see you around then."

I watched him take a few steps and furiously ran toward him again. "Sasuke, I wasn't finished!"

Frowning, he glanced at me.

"I will not go to Prom with you, just as a _friend_," I finished my earlier statement. That answer was so much easier than my original answer of "yes" would have been.

Sasuke eyed me mysteriously. "Are you sure you're not Sakura in disguise? You sound a bit selfish."

Glad about forcing him to change his mind about my personality, I giggled. "Yep, I'm sure."

"Will you be my _date _for Prom?" Sasuke asked.

I smiled so sincerely, and couldn't find the will to stop grinning like an idiot. "Yes." I'd never been able to speak so clearly in my entire life.

**[And this whore decides to go out with Sasuke because OOC Sasuke just loves whores. The end. Thanks again for the support.]**


End file.
